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There is a lot of fear, I guess. Sometimes I'm spontaneous and my behaviour is fairly reckless.. but I always sober up in a day or so.. With this there is the fear that there isn't much to fall back on right now, if I fuck up. Not as many people as I used to have. That is ridiculous I know, and if you're down you can only go up etc etc. It just feels that way.
There are probably 100 better things to do than running away from it all.. Im just not sure that I could deal with being around him if/when we break up. The last time we stopped talking, he went to pretty great lengths to see me. God only knows what this time round would involve.
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tiny and lost.
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