Originally Posted by Nefeli

hi.
about your initial post.

it has mixed feelings and thoughts, i think. im not saying that it shouldnt.
you acknowledge that was happened to you as a child was bad. you enjoy certain aspects of an abusive relationship of the present, but you wonder if everything is ok.
for the record, asking us if we think smth is wrong with you, i dont take into account that question for a serious one. i think, you can do the self analysing on your own.
since you already are wondering, its apparent that you arent satisfied with how things are now/anymore.
and i want to ask, if you have tried being in a relationship with no such (mental) abuse. you are very young, so i dont know.
for me, not that i know much, love cant be like this. i mean, you can do whatever you want in the sex department, but in ordinary, everyday life, communication and balblablabla you should have everything that makes you feel good and more. however, speaking as a shrink, which i m not! first you have to do and start feeling things about yourself and on your own that make you feel good. and then look for what your partner can do for you in the same manner.