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Operator: Hi. I'm Christy. What's your name, honey?
Gillian: Er... Um... John.
Operator: John what?
Gillian: Ummm...John Do..Do..Doberman.
Operator That's an interesting name. What is it?
Gillian: (mumbles)... fictional...
Operator: What did you say?
Gillian: I, I, I said its... Phoenician.
Operator: Oh come on. What's your real name?
Gillian: It's Gillian.
Operator: Oh Yeah?!? How did ya finally get off that island?
Gillian: No, I said Gillian!
Operator: I'm just teasing ya honey. So what did ya call for? So, you're interested in "Love", huh?
Gillian: Yeah, that's right. Very interested, if you know what I mean.
Operator: Oh yeah. I know what you mean. You want "LOVE", don't you?
Gillian: YEAH, YEAH. LOVE, LOVE. Do you know where I can get some?
Operator: Sure, baby, I know where you can get some. The question is how bad do you want it?
Gillian: I want it real bad.
Operator: How bad is bad?
Gillian: Let me put it this way. If I was a cat, I'd be cleaning myself.
Operator: O.K., I get it. Anyway, if you want the real thing, I'll give you another number to call, o.k.?
Gillian: Yeah, O.k. And I can get the kind of Love I'm looking for there?
Operator: Oh yes. You'll never feel so loved. The number is 39-6004. Oh come on little buddy, you know you didn't call for a conversation. You should at least be honest with yourself.
Gillian: Well...I suppose you're right about that.
Operator: Sure I am. If you aren't honest with yourself, you'll lose touch with reality.
Gillian: Wow. That's truly profound. By the way, what do you look like? What are you wearing?
Operator: What would you say if I told you I was 5'10" with long straight blonde hair, and my measurements were 38-24-36.
Gillian: I'd probably say something like "shwinggg!"
Operator: And what if I told you I was wearing a black leather teddy and thigh-high boots?
Gillian: If that were the case, I'd probably say "gulp" or something similar.
Operator: And if you said that, I'd probably counter with "Oooh, I wish you were here with me now. I'm sooo lonely!" or some derivation thereof.
Gillian: Is that right?
Operator: But, that wouldn't be very honest.
Gillian: What do you mean? You're not a beautiful sexy blonde?
Operator: Oh sure I am. I'm more beautiful and sexier than you can imagine!
Gillian: Then what do you mean about not being honest?
Operator: I mean that I would rather perform toenail surgery on myself than be alone with you.
Gillian: Oh...
Operator: I'm so glad we had this conversation. It sounded like you needed to take a reality check. Bye now, and better luck with Mary Ann. (Hangs Up)
Gillian: Toenail surgery?!? Damn! ...I've been had!
Metal Gear: You were deceived? Women will do that if you give them the chance
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