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^^^ That's good advice, terrible, but personally, I've noticed something about a lot of depressed people. Can't speak for 'em all, but I know a lot of intelligent depressed people, and I think that's the problem. Being put on meds just means you know your brain is lying to you. It's not like taking ecstasy, where you could go, "I SHOULDN'T BE FEELING LIKE THIS!" and yet you feel like it anyway. Ecstasy will usually genuinely make you happy, because of the .. things .. it triggers. Antidepressant meds aren't quite that strong, and I honestly feel nothing from them after a while, wondering if I'm just taking shitty placebos. In other words... a lot of depressed people have figured life out. Have you ever noticed how many truly intelligent, well-admired, wonderful people have killed themselves? Look at people like Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Cobain (who I'm not a fan of, personally, but he was talented), etc. Suicide is the ultimate fashion symbol of the "antihero", maybe, but take a step back and truly look at these people and disconnect from their fanbases and all the literature written about them and just LOOK: These are all smart, clever people. While it's arguable that they didn't have their heads screwed on quite right because of "drugs" or whatever, that just goes for the examples I listed. Look at the famous-people-suicide-list on wikipedia and it'll blow your mind. Most of them were seemingly smart people! I think there is no "cure" for depression. And I think intelligent people realize this. And intelligent people realize that life is ultimately pointless. I have my own philosophies in life, but I can't help the way I personally feel, regardless of anything. I have been reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead a lot, and there's a lot of wisdom in there. I have looked at things differently. But I still feel sad. I wish I could lie to myself. Erase my memories. I dunno. I don't think any one thing has triggered it. Suicide runs in my family, and I was abused when I was little, so subconsciously I'm sure that all has made me disconnected. Which is weird. I am not a cold or uncaring person, but I am definitely disconnected. Contradicting? Maybe. I'm not sure. I just don't feel like I fit in or belong with people. Yet I'm also extremely popular. What the fuck?!
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