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Actually, I usually don't talk about this on the board, but fuck it, I'm opening up about other shit elsewhere, might as well talk about the big green... I have given thousands of dollars to my mom, hundreds of dollars to charity, and ... way too much (an embarassing amount of) money to even bother mentioning ... to my girlfriend. I also regularly "donate" money to musicians and filmmakers that I like. I have given a thousand dollars to one filmmaker in particular this past year. I'm not just giving it away, I'm giving it to people who have personally touched my soul in profound and important ways... I spend way more money on other people than I do on myself, because there's not much I want in life. In fact, I have everything I want or need pretty much (I found a digital video camera yesterday for cheap)... So, I guess that's kinda why I feel stuck. Because I thought, man.. 'once I get all this money, I'll be happy!' Nope. Material possessions don't make me happy. So, what does? Giving money away doesn't make me feel happy.. though, at the same time, it makes me kinda smile, a little bit, to know I might contribute to someone else's happiness, in a small way. I dunno yet what makes me happy. I'm still looking.
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