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dear Portia,
if yr out there, somewhere, reading this thread, please take note of the fact that I was the only one that voted for you.
I want you sooo bad. you won't even have to fake an american accent anymore. in fact, I'd encourage you to speak oztralian. it's hot and you know it. I realize that yr homeland calls you a tall-poppy, but I don't care. I would never abuse you in such a manner (unless you asked).
so, on those lonely nights, where you are once again dreaming of penis, please, think kindly of me and remember that I'm here, waiting for you and yr man-free vagina.
<3, yr pal,
floslo
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