[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

so it was evening at the Improv when I finally got interviewed by the Judge for the jury this morning:

1) Have you been the victim of a crime?

Yes, I was robbed by a friend. He said, why did you not call the police? I said I do not trust the police, I figured it was on God. He said God left you hangin, I said not necessarily. Then i explained that I did not want to be the one to bring the hammer down on my former friend, regardless, I don't roll like that. I don't call the cops for shit.

Also had to mention the five people I know who have been shot, two killed, one by the police. He said any issues with being fair in this case? I said, I hold the police entirely acountable for the murder of my friend, and subsequently have trust issues with the police. He said, the all the police? I said yes, the entire institution. As a Rastaman I do not trust the law or its authority, actually it makes me quite nervous.

3) Have you been arrested?

Yes, three occassions. He said did the police treat you fairly? I said no, on one occassion they invaided my home illegally, and arrested me. He said did you fight the case? I explained that the DA's deal was more affordable than the lawyer, he said why not the PD? I said the PD does not help you very well with such petty cases..

4) any guns?


No they make me uncomfortable.

He then asked me, why I did not trust the courts or the police when my own friend robbed me with a gun? I explained WELL THE COPS CARRY GUNS TOO, he said they have a license, I SAID I DISAGREE WITH THAT LICENSE. GUNS MAKE ME NERVOUS. He brought up the robbery, I explained, 'well, honestly I feel the cops robbed me as well, they just like the my friend, kicked in my door and arrested me illegally and robbed me through the courts of my $$$."

I got a lot of laughs, it was truly funny to me. I love fucking with the court, especially if it is all based upon the truth.

Its like, Jesus, who is on trial here? Me or the defendent?