|
I go through periods where I find humanity disgusting, and I don't have the urge to jerk off... I get so irritated by people, and sex itself, that I just don't want to do it. Somehow, this transforms into me being HORNIER later because it feels WRONG to want to gratify myself, in the face of my anger. Anger produces the best sex -- even with yourself.
...I've tried to do this 2 times, did the "can't-jerk-off" contests, and well... I did okay the first time, but the SECOND TIME? Ugh. The day of the bet, my ex-girlfriend sucked me off and I blew it all over her face, no problem. So, yeah, I lost. First day.
Lately, I've been taking zoloft that my friend gave me for free, and I haven't had any sexual urges whatsoever. I've tried jerking off and it just seems pointless. So, this is awesome. I've realized that my last girlfriend, the one I was with for 7 years, is pretty much all I know sexually. I'd done sexual things with other girls but even then, when I'd jerk off, I'd think of the girl I eventually got with... and all my non-porno masturbation sessions has been to this one girl... so, yeah, it kinda bums me out, whenever I look at her I just think of sex. I mean, I love her aside from that but you know. It just bums me out.
__________________
|