[Genteel Death]

Originally Posted by alteredcourse

I respect this very much, because I cant be that anymore. I used to. I used to wave down ambulances for junkies puking blood in the street while everyone walked on, I used to be on the phone all night with real-life friends who felt like the last grain of sand was spiraling through the connecting tube of their hourglass. But....I got weary of it. I encountered too many people who ended up just being.......flaky. I cant be any more than vague about what situations I fell into, but they hurt me.

Just the fact that people can be so fickle about life in that way, using things like suicide attempts as obvious reasons for attention...it's a hard one for me. Even if someone seems to be just flailing around and couldnt pull a suicide off, well so they feel hurt enough to really need someone, I can still empathize with that. But when it happens over, and over, and over, and over....like a bad habit, and eventually starts to feel like you are being used not for any benefit at all. I want to be used for good or for help, not for the indulgence of an attention habit.

But I cant anymore. It disturbs me so much that people are really that fucked to the point where they arent really going to kill themselves, but will use it for attention.
I cant handle it. Real trauma, yes. The general nihilistic void of most young people now, no.
Note: this has nothing to do with anything on this board.

Whatever. Fuck off. Boring.