[Derek]

I need to figure out one thing I'm really really good at and work hard to achieve my goals in that area... anyway, then I feel selfish.. and I've never been selfish.. but when i am just a little bit concerned with myself, everyone gives me shit for it..

I definitely feel like that. It seems like it's a hassle to everyone else just to hear me speak out about things. It seems that every nice thing I do for someone is just swept under the rug (especially with my girlfriend) and whenever I seem to mess up I am chastised to no end. She stayed up all night talking to the guy she fucked before we were together and I'm the bad guy because I felt uncomfortable with that. She never puts herself in my shoes really, she twists it around so it's fine for her to do things but not me.

Don't do the suicide thing man.. you found a cool girl, and even if you can't keep her, you should have the confidence to know that you can easily find another cool girl. Yes, being single is way better, and even if you have a girlfriend, you're going to want time apart..

I don't even know how I ended up with the girl I have right now. I am shy and a horrible talker... and most of the girls I know anyway would think I'm a weirdo if they got to know me. I think I would like some time apart but... we go to school together so it's really hard NOT to see each other. She stays up all night at friends' etc. and when we hang out she falls asleep, that's really selfish BUT I never once criticised her for it.

But I don't think I would kill myself, I just need to re-evaluate my life a little.