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It actually feels a bit better to have brought a massive downfall on myself than to have to blame it on somebody else. To rebuild from the bottom is somehow more valid if the bottom was gotten to by my own decisions. I actually was worried about being taken to jail for somebody else's lies tonight, and there was my ex who I completely fucked over ready to bail me out because I was there for her at the hospital when she half-faked suicide. So tired of drama in life, so why did I take the fucking manipulative, tell me what I wanted to hear, give me some free dope and then claim later I molested you routine?? As my lover who will probably never sleep with me again said, "You are not 20, why are you still living this type of life?" So well put. At least the cop was nice.
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