[Rob Instigator]

The other day, my cousin posted a great bit of writing by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, titled "What is a Puerto Rican?" I have read it before and it is so funny, so in order to share I have translated it to English. Funny and true.... Here is the translation
(Translated from Spanish by me, RXTT)

WHAT IS A PUERTO RICAN?
AS DESCRIBED BY GABRIEL GARCÍA MARQUEZ

Oh, the Puerto Ricans… what a difficult question! Puerto Ricans are within you but they are not of you. Puerto Ricans, out of the same cup, will drink both joy and suffering. They make music of their cries and then they laugh at the music they make.
Puerto Ricans take jokes very seriously and they make jokes of the serious. They do not believe in anyone yet believe in everything. Never let it occur to you to argue with them!
Puerto Ricans are born with wisdom. They do not need to read, they know it all! They do not need to travel, they have seen it all! Puerto Ricans are something like the Chosen People, as chosen by themselves.
Puerto Ricans are characterized individually by their friendliness and intelligence, and, in groups, for their shouting and passion. Each one of them carries within the spark of genius, and geniuses do not get along well with each other, insofar as reuniting Puerto Ricans is very easy, but uniting them is nearly impossible.
Do not talk to them of Logic, because that implies reasoning and temperateness and Puerto Ricans are hyperbolic and exaggerators. For example, if they invite you to a restaurant to eat dinner, they did not invite you to the best restaurant in town, but the best restaurant in the whole world.
When they argue, they do not say, “I am not in agreement with you,” but instead, “You are completely wrong!!!!”
They have cannibalistic tendencies, in which “She ate it!” (¡Se la comió!), is an expression of admiration, and “eating a wire” (comerse un cable) is a sign of a critically serious situation. Calling someone a shit-eater, (come mierda), is a lacerating insult.
The Puerto Rican loves contradiction so much that he calls beautiful women monsters, (monstruos) and scholars barbarians. If you complain to them about any health issue they will exclaim, “Buddy! You should have talked to me so I could take you to a doctor pal of mine who is a horse! (caballo)”
Puerto Ricans offer solutions before they know what the problem is. For them, there never is any problem. They know what needs to happen to eradicate terrorism, prosecute Latin American corruption, eliminate hunger in Africa, pay the national debt, who should be President, and how the United States could become a world power.
They do not understand why everyone else misunderstands Puerto Ricans when their ideas are so simple and they also fail to understand why people do not want to learn to speak Spanish like them.
Oh, Puerto Ricans… we cannot live long with them but it is impossible to live without them! Dedicated with love to the inhabitants of the best country in the World…

[!@#$%!]

haahhahhaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!