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Old 03.08.2007, 11:33 PM   #1
SpectralJulianIsNotDead
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(muses = Synthetically and Cuetzpalin)

I started masturbating when I was 11- my fantasies were mostly science fiction related- having to repopulate the earth after every other man has died, banging Twi'leks, etc.

I had a red night light. I think that sort of lent to the mood of general sexiness.

Oh- for the longest time I'd quit once I got this feeling that I was gonna erupt. Once I peed clear after jerking off and thought it was cum. Boy was I in for a surprise.

In my early teens I had(well, I still do) a big thing for Laetitia Casta.
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Old 03.08.2007, 11:38 PM   #2
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noumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard suckanoumenal cold hard sucka
"The ethereal harmonies of the laserpipe orchestra echoed off the solid diamond walls of the Galactic Overlord's pleasure chamber. As I slowly made my way through the gyrating throng of human, plasmid, and arachnoid revelers, the arcanite sensors on my integrated detectograph started going haywire. "Just as I thought," I thought. "She's here."

It was another two hundred ticks until I saw her, dancing languidly with a spice runner out of Betelgeuse VII. He was a hulking brute, with a wickedly edged macrosword slung over the back of his metaluminum armor, the kind that would have struck cold fear into the heart of a lesser man. But I was no lesser man. "Mind if I cut in?" I intoned, silencing the smuggler's enraged grumble of objection with a stealthy blast from my deliminator rifle.

"What took you so long?" cooed Abraxxia, her words subtly quavering with the universal inflections of desire. Ignoring my own fierce need, I furiously scanned my surroundings for danger -- she was crafty, and I knew that the slightest mistake would prove fatal. Not just for myself, but for the entire United Alliance. Inevitably, my gaze settled back upon the smooth curves of skin that peeked out from under her transparent holodress. How many rounds of Uranian Megasex would it take before she surrendered the alloy?"
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Old 03.08.2007, 11:42 PM   #3
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Are you trying to turn me on? Because it is working.

If only you were a girl.
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Old 03.08.2007, 11:45 PM   #4
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That's from Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure.


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Old 03.08.2007, 11:46 PM   #5
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Cantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's assesCantankerous kicks all y'all's asses
my number one fantasy is chris habib in a frog suit.
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Old 03.08.2007, 11:52 PM   #6
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ppppppfffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:04 AM   #7
SpectralJulianIsNotDead
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That site advocates lube.

www.healthystrokes.com is the obvious better choice.
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:12 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead
(muses = Synthetically and Cuetzpalin)

I started masturbating when I was 11- my fantasies were mostly science fiction related- having to repopulate the earth after every other man has died, banging Twi'leks, etc.

I had a red night light. I think that sort of lent to the mood of general sexiness.

Oh- for the longest time I'd quit once I got this feeling that I was gonna erupt. Once I peed clear after jerking off and thought it was cum. Boy was I in for a surprise.

In my early teens I had(well, I still do) a big thing for Laetitia Casta.

man i dont know what is with some of your sex posts that truly gives me the willies. like we all talk about fucking, but in my mind at least you stand out as the true twisted weirdo of us all, ha ha. and i cant pinpoint the reason.

well i dont mean to spoil your fun-- by all means enjoy your prurient exhibitionism. but i am a bit creeped out so im staying out of this one

note: really, let's not argue. im just staying clear of this one.
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:12 AM   #9
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i love masturbation its much fun
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:22 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
man i dont know what is with some of your sex posts that truly gives me the willies. like we all talk about fucking, but in my mind at least you stand out as the true twisted weirdo of us all, ha ha. and i cant pinpoint the reason.

well i dont mean to spoil your fun-- by all means enjoy your prurient exhibitionism. but i am a bit creeped out so im staying out of this one

note: really, let's not argue. im just staying clear of this one.

My twistedness probably has something to do with me starting to masturbate at 11 yet not having my first kiss until I was 18.
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:25 AM   #11
ALIEN ANAL
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ALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's asses
i started at about 12 i think, and didnt kiss untill i was 16, and since then iv only had 3 other kisses.
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Old 03.09.2007, 12:43 AM   #12
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You beat me to it.
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Old 03.09.2007, 01:18 AM   #13
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Such a weird story Swa(y)
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Old 03.09.2007, 01:33 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kegmama
Ha. 'Beat me' in a masturbation thread... Sometimes your kind of clever Synth.

As I've said before I am about being seemed as dumb, cause in reality I am smart.
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Old 03.09.2007, 01:57 AM   #15
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I am a contradiction
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Old 03.09.2007, 02:18 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swa(y)
it was the summer before fifth grade. id just moved in with my mom after three years of living with my dickhead father. it being the summer, and my mom working during the day, she put me in this summer day camp sorta ordeal.during one hot day i noticed something that drove me completely crazy....cammie pendlands ass. everyday i looked foward to the hour we'd have in the pool. i had my mom buy me some goggles, so i could hide out under the water and stare at her ass. course....i didnt tell my mother this is why i wanted them. i never actually talked to cammie...

as soon as the school year started...i was suprised to see that she was actually in my class. she was my first crush. i never said two words to the girl. but she did teach me a valuable lesson, one that ill carry along with me for the rest of my life. cammies ass drove me so fucking crazy that id lay in bed for hours touching myself, and one strange night this gooey spunk shot out all over my spit lubricated hand.

mmmm

Dude, you should do standup. That put a huge smile on my face.
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Old 03.09.2007, 02:24 AM   #17
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4th grade...and your mom.
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Old 03.09.2007, 03:27 AM   #18
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foxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's assesfoxforce5 kicks all y'all's asses
Isn't it kind of... gross... to mentally revist early masturbation fantasies if they were about classmates? (Unless you learned how to jerk off while in med school. Or you're still 12.)
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Old 03.09.2007, 07:35 AM   #19
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why would someone feel inclined to share such information as people are sharing here?
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Old 03.09.2007, 07:38 AM   #20
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ALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's asses
you dont mind reading it toilet?
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