a poem

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 01:17 PM

I had a couple pages with some random jotings so I fixed em' up and made a poem. I trashed a lot of it as well. It's not quite what I wanted though.

4th of July 2020
Skinny soldiers
roaming skyhigh streets
guns welded to hands
conform glued to their foreheads
alleyways and parking lots
brick gardens surrounded by metal oceans
junk
cement
modernism
jive talking elephants and dead donkeys
there is no energy
smashing skulls
spraying blood
it's new
lets memorialize war for raw good
I've pawned my gardening gloves for work boots
Lady Liberty is a needle labeled war
Scott Key is forgotten
Fuck Manifest Destiny - We own the heavens!
robotic vaginas
a world run by sex
orgy spelt 01000101001
forgotten fat lips of Ginsberg
experimental FDR and the Twilight Zone
electric guitars and marshall stacks replaced by 16 key casios and headphones
water closets stay the some and the same
what happened to table gatherings and farmer morals
old theater with brick wall paintings gone for closet entertainment
call dr. ctrl alt dlt

atari 2600 · 06.15.2006, 01:26 PM

wow

Love it...but the spelling errors bug me some

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atari 2600

wow

Love it...but the spelling errors bug me some

thanks, yeah I have to fix the grammar and such.

Rob Instigator · 06.15.2006, 01:29 PM

This is what my friend Jean wrote

sittin on the corner of beechnut and gessner
looking at the girl cuz she looks like a hustler
gotta get some money cuz I gotta get the honey
now I gotta go cuz I got to get the rest of her
bitch
I eat my cake and my pie at the same fucking time.....

Confucious is sex · 06.15.2006, 01:31 PM

Why is it that all free verse comes back to Ginsberg? He ain't all that (*ducks, fearing the wrath of the liberal Americans*)

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

This is what my friend Jean wrote

sittin on the corner of beechnut and gessner
looking at the girl cuz she looks like a hustler
gotta get some money cuz I gotta get the honey
now I gotta go cuz I got to get the rest of her
bitch
I eat my cake and my pie at the same fucking time.....

nice

Confucious is sex · 06.15.2006, 01:34 PM

Here's my poem:

Could you perhaps try a little
Understanding?
Never underestimate the power of a thwarted woman's
Tears.

atari 2600 · 06.15.2006, 01:37 PM

skinny
donkeys
let's
I see you fixed "Ladie"
Marshall

it's a cool poem, Sheriff

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atari 2600

skinny
donkeys
I see you fixed "Ladie"
spelled
Marshall

it's a cool poem, Sheriff

thanks I get A's in english but my spelling and grammar always sucked.

EDIT: FIXED IT.

atari 2600 · 06.15.2006, 01:41 PM

spelt is okay actually ... you can used that or spelled

spelt sounds better to me as I read it because it sounds less self-conscious

many poems in this style that dare to reference someone line Ginsberg cheapen the poem that way, but Sheriff's is good enough to get away with it...

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atari 2600

spelt is okay actually ... you can used that or spelled

spelt sounds better to me as I read it because it sounds less self-conscious

many poems in this style that dare to reference someone line Ginsberg cheapen the poem that way, but Sheriff's is good enough to get away with it...

I really appreciate that. I'll change spelt.
Usually I don't like to refference anyone but I gave it a shot.

atari 2600 · 06.15.2006, 01:45 PM

Quote:

I had a couple pages with some random jotings so I fixed em' up and made a poem. I trashed a lot of it as well. It's not quite what I wanted though.

I think that process works really well. I think a lot of poets & songwriters work that way most of the time & then, every now & again, get inspiration to write one all the way through without changing much.

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atari 2600

I think that process works really well. I think a lot of poets & songwriters work that way most of the time & then, every now & again, get inspiration to write one all the way through without changing much.

yeah Ill do that some times as well. A lot of the stuff I write could be considered 'improvised' maybe, although most poetry could be.

Rob Instigator · 06.15.2006, 02:19 PM

poontang pie!

king_buzzo · 06.15.2006, 02:36 PM

cool man keep it up

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 06.15.2006, 04:11 PM

holy fuckin' signature!

06.15.2006, 01:17 PM	#1
Sheriff Rhys Chatham invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England. Posts: 4,027	I had a couple pages with some random jotings so I fixed em' up and made a poem. I trashed a lot of it as well. It's not quite what I wanted though. 4th of July 2020 Skinny soldiers roaming skyhigh streets guns welded to hands conform glued to their foreheads alleyways and parking lots brick gardens surrounded by metal oceans junk cement modernism jive talking elephants and dead donkeys there is no energy smashing skulls spraying blood it's new lets memorialize war for raw good I've pawned my gardening gloves for work boots Lady Liberty is a needle labeled war Scott Key is forgotten Fuck Manifest Destiny - We own the heavens! robotic vaginas a world run by sex orgy spelt 01000101001 forgotten fat lips of Ginsberg experimental FDR and the Twilight Zone electric guitars and marshall stacks replaced by 16 key casios and headphones water closets stay the some and the same what happened to table gatherings and farmer morals old theater with brick wall paintings gone for closet entertainment call dr. ctrl alt dlt __________________ My Music(grunge rock) A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:26 PM	#2
atari 2600 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,212	wow Love it...but the spelling errors bug me some
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:29 PM	#4
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,969	This is what my friend Jean wrote sittin on the corner of beechnut and gessner looking at the girl cuz she looks like a hustler gotta get some money cuz I gotta get the honey now I gotta go cuz I got to get the rest of her bitch I eat my cake and my pie at the same fucking time..... __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:31 PM	#5
Confucious is sex bad moon rising Join Date: May 2006 Location: Shoreditch, London, UK Posts: 183	Why is it that all free verse comes back to Ginsberg? He ain't all that (ducks, fearing the wrath of the liberal Americans)
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:34 PM	#7
Confucious is sex bad moon rising Join Date: May 2006 Location: Shoreditch, London, UK Posts: 183	Here's my poem: Could you perhaps try a little Understanding? Never underestimate the power of a thwarted woman's Tears.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:37 PM	#8
atari 2600 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,212	skinny donkeys let's I see you fixed "Ladie" Marshall it's a cool poem, Sheriff
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 01:41 PM	#10
atari 2600 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,212	spelt is okay actually ... you can used that or spelled spelt sounds better to me as I read it because it sounds less self-conscious many poems in this style that dare to reference someone line Ginsberg cheapen the poem that way, but Sheriff's is good enough to get away with it...
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 02:19 PM	#14
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,969	poontang pie! __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 02:36 PM	#15
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	cool man keep it up
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.15.2006, 04:11 PM	#16
Sheriff Rhys Chatham invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England. Posts: 4,027	holy fuckin' signature! __________________ My Music(grunge rock) A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|