[_slavo_]

Oh how pathetic, but....shit, that hurts.

We've been together for 4 years and the reason for splitting was that the relationship was not moving anywhere (translated - I did not want to move in with her).

shit.

not that anyone would care, but any support would be appreciated. I feel fucked up as never before and have to be pretending that I'm entusiatic at work.

[connie kreski]

cheers !

[A Thousand Threads]

i´m sorry for you, dude
don´t know what to say
it´s always hard to break up with someone
and a 4 year relationship is pretty long

good luck to you
my friend

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by A Thousand Threads

i´m sorry for you, dude
don´t know what to say
it´s always hard to break up with someone
and a 4 year relationship is pretty long

good luck to you
my friend

thanks mate,
see you on Mogwai gig on Donaufestival in Krems tomorrow, perhaps.

oh man, i can't wait to get home from work to get wasted.

[A Thousand Threads]

unfortunately i won´t be there
i can´t afford the tickets

are you going to Wolf Eyes, NNCK or something else?

[Hip Priest]

Of course we care! I hope you don't feel too bad, and that things start to look up soon.

[fishmonkey]

thats rough man, keep the chin up and get wasted, i had a nasty little lasing from love lately and been the irish chap i am i drank me way thru it, probably not the best thing to do be fuck it, it helps, stoned or drunk or whatever your poision is, look after yourself and hold the head up, time heals all wounds

[Bertrand]

Cry cry cry, it's freeing. Hope you won't get wasted too long & got flesh & bones pals to meet, talk, play with et al.

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by fishmonkey

thats rough man, keep the chin up and get wasted, i had a nasty little lasing from love lately and been the irish chap i am i drank me way thru it, probably not the best thing to do be fuck it, it helps, stoned or drunk or whatever your poision is, look after yourself and hold the head up, time heals all wounds

my poison is beer, although tonight I'm gonna lock up in my room with 2 litres of bitter red wine, just for the irony of it.

i am a slovakian chap, we do it the same way as the irish

right now I'm listening to Labradford, it kind of fits the moment

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by A Thousand Threads

unfortunately i won´t be there
i can´t afford the tickets

are you going to Wolf Eyes, NNCK or something else?

just Mogwai and Silver mt.Zion. I wish to see Battles, but it's in the weektime, so I gotta wake up for work next day

[fishmonkey]

well best of luck to you man, you'll be ok in time, know that sounds a bit stupid now but sup up the wine you'll be fine if you give it some time, oh look i made a rhyme..
dont be locked up on your own either, get somebody to drink up with you.

[truncated]

Sorry to hear that slavo.

You can blow sunshine up your own ass, but things WON'T start to look up soon - you're going to feel like recycled donkey shit for ages. Here's a half-assed psychological thingie (since I just woke up and I'm not a psychologist anyhow):

I always find that the things that really make a breakup worse are the constant reminders of that person; the mental associations you make between certain things you do in a day and that person's role in them. You went to a a certain coffee shop together; both liked the same film; listened to the same bands; etc. So you put on an album and all of a sudden you're fucking miserable because you're reminded of this chick.

You have to destroy these mental associations, not avoid them; avoidance only makes it worse. Don't stop doing the things you associate with her; just intersperse them with new shit, that was totally unrelated to your relationship. If the old associations are painful, you seize that pain, relish it, magnify it, wallow in it. Slowly, they become independent of your relationship with her, and as you find new things to do on your own, you move on, almost without realizing it.

Keep busy. Be self-indulgent and wallow in the pain for a bit; as cliche as it is, that's part of any 'grieving' process. Get drunk and maudlin, definitely cry, and obnoxiously grab strange girls' asses in the bar. This is going to hurt, like a syphilitic whore, for quite some time, but don't avoid it. No matter what any tree-hugging, peace-loving bastard says, pain/hatred/bitterness are essential to survival. They keep you sharp. Otherwise you become a complacent asshole and you lose your identity.

Fuck her, she probably farts in bed anyhow.

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by truncated

Sorry to hear that slavo.

You can blow sunshine up your own ass, but things WON'T start to look up soon - you're going to feel like recycled donkey shit for ages. Here's a half-assed psychological thingie (since I just woke up and I'm not a psychologist anyhow):

I always find that the things that really make a breakup worse are the constant reminders of that person; the mental associations you make between certain things you do in a day and that person's role in them. You went to a a certain coffee shop together; both liked the same film; listened to the same bands; etc. So you put on an album and all of a sudden you're fucking miserable because you're reminded of this chick.

You have to destroy these mental associations, not avoid them; avoidance only makes it worse. Don't stop doing the things you associate with her; just intersperse them with new shit, that was totally unrelated to your relationship. If the old associations are painful, you seize that pain, relish it, magnify it, wallow in it. Slowly, they become independent of your relationship with her, and as you find new things to do on your own, you move on, almost without realizing it.

Keep busy. Be self-indulgent and wallow in the pain for a bit; as cliche as it is, that's part of any 'grieving' process. Get drunk and maudlin, definitely cry, and obnoxiously grab strange girls' asses in the bar. This is going to hurt, like a syphilitic whore, for quite some time, but don't avoid it. No matter what any tree-hugging, peace-loving bastard says, pain/hatred/bitterness are essential to survival. They keep you sharp. Otherwise you become a complacent asshole and you lose your identity.

Fuck her, she probably farts in bed anyhow.

yes, that's clever thinking. I'm gonna do that exactly the way you said.
The worst thing probably is that we broke up in friendship and whole yesterday's night she kept telling me: "whenever you feel bad or anything, just give me a call or meet me, we're gonna talk", but I'm kind of angry because she knows I tend to get depressive from time to time and she feels sorry. and that's full of crap. we could have at least argued or something like that...

she's a great girl though. I will post some mp3s that she's recorded with her band.

[truncated]

I would say, don't hang around with her right away; you definitely need some space so you can wallow, and not lose perspective. Good that you stayed friends though.

[candymoan]

don't overindulge in music.. especially the stuff you listened to together..
keep your immediate environment clean of anything that could remind her..
yes, time will help, but don't leave yourself alone.. go out with friends and do rebound sex if you can..
it all helps..

one option would be to draw on her photos - snot running down her nose..
that's closure..

[_slavo_]

so much support.
I didn't expect so many friendly talks!!!!

it doesn't make life easier, but it's nice.

so for all of ya:

 

[marleypumpkin]

I'm sorry to hear this _slavo_. I know how rough this can be on anyone.
But, take truncated's advice, stay away from each other as long as you can. Then when you finally get to see her again, it will brighten up your life just a bit more.

[Inhuman]

Damn man, I know how you feel. Sorry to hear about it . Last month I was going to do the same because it wasn't moving anywhere, but I never really got the guts to do it, it's tough. Well I hope things get better dude, keep it real.

[Grete]

I'm sorry for you..:-(

[jon boy]

when you split up with someone. all i can say is that it will be very hard for a while, a long while what with consant reminders and general memories floating around. all i can say is after the initial wallowing period which happens to everyone you must get out and do things and stay active as if you wallow too much it will turn you into a jibbering wreck that no one will want to see. good luck.