Worship at every meal with the JesusPan®

atari 2600 · 05.31.2006, 01:45 AM

no doubt inspired by jesus in spaghetti & countless other frauds,
the virgin mary grilled cheese ebay sale
& maybe, this recent story
click for video: http://www.atheisteye.com/JesusPan.html

Glice · 05.31.2006, 06:08 AM

Wasn't there something in Exodus about graven images...

How very tacky. I have a feeling they'll make a killing on those in Shoreditch.

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

Wasn't there something in Exodus about graven images...

How very tacky. I have a feeling they'll make a killing on those in Shoreditch.

They already have probably.Every household in Shoreditch has a Jesus ashtray on the table.

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 06:13 AM

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 06:16 AM

alyasa · 05.31.2006, 06:29 AM

Shit, that's not even funny anymore. Do they realise they've sold Christianity to the devil?

fishmonkey · 05.31.2006, 06:38 AM

RdTv · 05.31.2006, 06:43 AM

Yeah, there is something in Exodus about graven images, but the majority of so called christians don't even bother to read their bible, they let their priests do it for them and that really works. Whatever happened to having an ACCURATE knowledge of the scriptures, isn't that what the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy concerning God's will.

atari 2600 · 05.31.2006, 09:18 AM

Twenty years ago, contemporary Christian music was a cottage industry with annual sales of $85 million, today, sales are up to 4 billion a year.

& that's just the music. Book & merchandising sales assume most of the other 26 billion in revenue reported annually through the marketing of Jesus.

The recording industry globally I think only makes between 35-40 billion. The pornography business, in comparison, hauls in thirteen billion annually.

http://72.14.209.104/search?q=cache:7_9XWIIH450J:www.strang.com/cr/a.php%3FArticleID%3D13131+christianity+book++indus try+growth&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2
While most categories showed stable growth, the Religious category was charted as up 8.1% in 2005 year-to-date, with growth for this year projected at 6.5%. The market is “the (major) growth area in the business,” said senior researcher Albert Greco of The Institute for Publishing Research. Market growth shows “an unbelievable number of books” being produced.

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articl...44876#continue

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 09:19 AM

''Atari can i lend you my copy of 'A cowboy for jesus?'''

truncated · 05.31.2006, 09:22 AM

Does anyone else just fucking LOVE porkmarras lately?

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 09:25 AM

''I'm not scared of you.Back off!''

atari 2600 · 05.31.2006, 09:26 AM

http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html

Major Religions of the World
Ranked by Number of Adherents

(Sizes shown are approximate estimates, and are here mainly for the purpose of ordering the groups, not providing a definitive number. This list is sociological/statistical in perspective.)

Christianity: 2.1 billion
Islam: 1.3 billion
Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion
Hinduism: 900 million
Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
Buddhism: 376 million
primal-indigenous: 300 million
African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
Sikhism: 23 million
Juche: 19 million
Spiritism: 15 million
Judaism: 14 million
Baha'i: 7 million
Jainism: 4.2 million
Shinto: 4 million
Cao Dai: 4 million
Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
Tenrikyo: 2 million
Neo-Paganism: 1 million
Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand
Rastafarianism: 600 thousand
Scientology: 500 thousand

Introduction
The adherent counts presented in the list above are current estimates of the number of people who have at least a minimal level of self-identification as adherents of the religion. Levels of participation vary within all groups. These numbers tend toward the high end of reasonable worldwide estimates. Valid arguments can be made for different figures, but if the same criteria are used for all groups, the relative order should be the same. Further details and sources are available below and in the Adherents.com main database.

jon boy · 05.31.2006, 09:27 AM

there are some jesus freaks on this board i reckon. people who think they are some kind of supernatural being.

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 09:28 AM

''Im not scared,i'm telling you.Back off!''

atari 2600 · 05.31.2006, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras

''Atari can i lend you my copy of 'A cowboy for jesus?'''

I don't get it.

---

this next copy & paste is a a tale told by an idiot full of sound & fury & signifying nothing:

Is Jesus Really A Cowboy?
(And Are Animals Really In Heaven?)

By Rev. Johnny Lee Clary

It is my belief that Jesus is really a Cowboy and I can prove it partner! When the Bible talks about Jesus coming back to earth, it says He will be riding not in a limo, not in a Ferrari, not in a Lamborghini, not in a Volkswagen, not on a surfboard, not in a pimpwagon or purple Cadillac, not on a Harley Davidson, (Sorry Terry Walker!) not in a spaceship, not in a leer jet, (Sorry Nature Boy Buddy Landel and Ric Flair) but He will be riding on a white HORSE!

Jesus could ride in anything that He wants to but He chooses to ride on a horse, like a true Cowboy would! That means Jesus has a horse in Heaven. That also proves that animals do go to Heaven contrary to what some ministers teach, that animals do not have souls and can't go to Heaven. The Holy Bible says in Isaiah 65:25 that the wolf shall graze next to the lamb. For those who teach that there are no animals in Heaven, I would like to see them explain that scripture.

Ok I am sure someone is going to say Isaiah is not talking about Heaven, in this passage but rather the millennial reign of Jesus right here on the earth. If that is so, isn't the millennial reign supposed to reflect Heaven? Why would the animals be at peace and then Jesus destroys them so they can't go to Heaven after the millennial reign? Those that say there are no animals in Heaven makes no sense and they have no scriptures to back up their claim.

Besides the God that I serve, loves animals and created them for our enjoyment. Can you picture an animals as smart as Roy Roger's horse "Trigger" not being in Heaven? Can you picture an animal as smart and devoted as "Lassie" not getting to live in Heaven? I can't. The facts state plain and simple that Jesus is in Heaven, and He comes back to Earth riding on a horse. If there are no animals in Heaven then where did He get His horse?

The great minister, John Wesley was a cowboy and he always said his horse would be in Heaven.

When I think of heroes, I think of Cowboys. Jesus of course is the biggest hero of them all. However, you have to stop and think about how the West was won, and how America is only existing today because of the rough and rugged cowboys who fought the Indians, pioneered the land, and fought the outlaws, which made America the land of the free and the home of the brave, which is why she is the leading Nation in the world today.
Men like Wyatt , Morgan and Virgil Earp, who along with their friend Doc Holliday fought off the bad guys like the cutthroat Clanton gang in Tombstone, Arizona and devoted their lives to truth justice and the American way! As a result we enjoy the freedom that we have today and because of America's freedom, many other nations are free today and not being ruled my tyrannical Muslims and Communists because of the cowboy attitude of America.

America's two most popular Presidents have been and are President Ronald Reagan, and President George Walker Bush Jr., both who were and are cowboys. Both have led the world in times of crises and kept America from falling into ungodly hethanistic control. The people of America spoke when given a choice between an Ivy League Bostonian fake war hero to lead them, or a Cowboy hero who drives a Pickup Truck, rides a horse and has a ranch in Texas, they felt more comfortable with a Cowboy to lead them and not some stuffed shirted upper class gigolo.

Cowboys have always been heroes. Can you picture some trash-talking street punk rapper coming to the rescue of a person in distress, or leading the world in the fight against terror? I think not.

Look at all the leaders who have been cowboys, such as Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, President Andrew Jackson, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, Jesse James, Wild Bill Hickock, Bat Masterson, John Wayne, Sunset Carson, Hoot Gibson, Lash LaRue, Roy Rogers, Audie Murphy, Tex Ritter, Annie Oakley, Calamity Jane, Toby Keith, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, and many others who have blazed a trail of honor for freedom and served as role models for children all over the world. I mean, who would YOU rather have your child look up to as a role model; that foul mouthed street punk rapper Eminem who tells kids to murder and commit suicide like in his Slim Shady CD, or John Wayne who chased the bad guys right off the screen? If you say Eminem, then you are in the same category as I described him, and are not even fit to be called an American.

The facts are that God has chosen cowboys to lead the world because being a Christian means to be "Christ-like." Cowboys are the closest thing to being Christ-like because Jesus is a Cowboy, period.
My Heroes have always been cowboys!

shentov · 05.31.2006, 09:29 AM

priceless

atari 2600 · 05.31.2006, 09:32 AM

http://www.ccel.org/d/dostoevsky/kar...chapter04.html

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

Chapter 4 - Cana of Galilee

IT was very late, according to the monastery ideas, when Alyosha returned to the hermitage; the door-keeper let him in by a special entrance. It had struck nine o'clock- the hour of rest and repose after a day of such agitation for all. Alyosha timidly opened the door and went into the elder's cell where his coffin was now standing.There was no one in the cell but Father Paissy, reading the Gospel in solitude over the coffin, and the young novice Porfiry, who, exhausted by the previous night's conversation and the disturbing incidents of the day, was sleeping the deep sound sleep of youth on the floor of the other room. Though Father Paissy heard Alyosha come in, he did not even look in his direction. Alyosha turned to the rightf rom the door to the corner, fell on his knees and began to pray. His soul was overflowing but with mingled feelings; no single sensation stood out distinctly; on the contrary, one drove out another in a slow, continual rotation. But there was a sweetness in his heart and, strange to say, Alyosha was not surprised at it. Again he saw that coffin before him, the hidden dead figure so precious to him, but the weeping and poignant grief of the morning was no longer aching in his soul. As soon as he came in, he fell down before the coffin as before a holy shrine, but joy, joy was glowing in his mind and in his heart. The one window of the cell was open, the air was fresh and cool. "So the smell must have become stronger, if they opened the window," thought Alyosha. But even this thought of the smell ofcorruption, which had seemed to him so awful and humiliating a few hours before, no longer made him feel miserable or indignant. He began quietly praying, but he soon felt that he was praying almostmechanically. Fragments of thought floated through his soul, flashedlike stars and went out again at once, to beby others.But yet there was reigning in his soul a sense of the wholeness ofthings- something steadfast and comforting- and he was aware of ithimself. Sometimes he began praying ardently, he longed to pour outhis thankfulness and love... But when he had begun to pray, he passed suddenly to somethingelse, and sank into thought, forgetting both the prayer and what hadinterrupted it. He began listening to what Father Paissy wasreading, but worn out with exhaustion he gradually began to doze. "And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee,"read Father Paissy. "And the mother of Jesus was there; And both Jesuswas there; And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to themarriage." "Marriage? What's that?... A marriage!" floated whirling throughAlyosha's mind. "There is happiness for her, too... She has gone tothe feast.... No, she has not taken the knife.... That was only a succeeded tragic phrase.... Well... tragic phrases should be forgiven, they mustbe. Tragic phrases comfort the heart... Without them, sorrow wouldbe too heavy for men to bear. Rakitin has gone off to the backalley. As long as Rakitin broods over his wrongs, he will always gooff to the back alley.... But the high road... The road is wide andstraight and bright as crystal, and the sun is at the end of it....Ah!... What's being read?"...

porkmarras · 05.31.2006, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atari 2600