[phoenix]

My biggest fears are;

I attract mongoloid types, and that is not even an exaggeration.. If I am starting over, finding friends who are not going to steal the little amount of items I may have, or try to molest me, or knife me, is a big issue..

Not so good at making friendships quickly(except for jerks ^^). Im more of a mellow slow burner type. I grow on you. I'm assuming there is no time for this when faced with an entirely new place.

Lack of money. A lot of my friends are already out of jobs, and the prospect of being somewhere new, having no place to stay, and no money past a certain point if I dont find a job.... scares the fuck out of me... mostly because of the type of people I attract (see point one)


so... tips please

[blunderbuss]

Depends how far from your current location you're going to move. When I moved to London I was only about 60 miles from my old home, so I could easily escape back there at weekends. That helped me to acclimatise to the new surroundings, because I didn't get homesick.

I moved into a houseshare and was lucky enough that I had a lot in common with one of the other guys there, so we hung out. Work wasn't really a great source of friends, but there were people there that I could have a laugh with, so it wasn't hell.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by blunderbuss

Depends how far from your current location you're going to move.

unknown at this point.

[phoenix]

I usually get on with people I work with, but rarely find any of them friend-types. Sometimes but rarely. Even finding a job at the moment really bothers me though.

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by phoenix

My biggest fears are;

I attract mongoloid types, and that is not even an exaggeration.. If I am starting over, finding friends who are not going to steal the little amount of items I may have, or try to molest me, or knife me, is a big issue..

Not so good at making friendships quickly(except for jerks ^^). Im more of a mellow slow burner type. I grow on you. I'm assuming there is no time for this when faced with an entirely new place.

Lack of money. A lot of my friends are already out of jobs, and the prospect of being somewhere new, having no place to stay, and no money past a certain point if I dont find a job.... scares the fuck out of me... mostly because of the type of people I attract (see point one)


so... tips please

Are you really that sure about that type of people that you attract? From what I read from you, you seem like a mature and smart girl (and quite attractive, to add). So where is the problem with making new friends? You're not that good at communication with people?

If this (plus the lack of money) is the main reason for you not being comfortable with where you're at now, then move on and find a different place. But the question is, if this would really solve your problems?

See, I was thinking about this a while ago when I had issues with myself (I was thinking of leaving my country entirely and to move to the U.S.) but I turned the idea down, since the real problem was in my head, and not in the environment, as I had thought before. Now I feel quite ok with where I am and who I am.

Are you staying with your parents now?

[Trasher02]

Why do you want to ditch everything in the first place?

[pbradley]

Ditched everything to go to college.

Ditched everything there to come back.

I want to ditch this place again.

[blunderbuss]

Yeah, it's a bit crap when you run away to escape, and subsequently find out that what you're trying to escape is yourself.

[atsonicpark]

I am planning on it in a few months. Basically, I'm at a point where everyone around me bothers me and annoys me, except my girlfriend. Bandmates included... everyone's on drugs, everyone's mad that I don't hang out with them and get fucked up out of my mind... I'm a fun guy, and I don't mind drugs, but it has CONSUMED people's lives around me, to the point where they don't work and they steal or borrow money from their parents and stuff. That's their business, and I don't want to comment on it -- I just feel that I'm so much different (not necessarily better -- I'm not condescending here -- but definitely DIFFERENT) than everynoe else, and whatever intelligence they have is being destroyed as they put more holes in their brain. Ah, I'm not better -- maybe the correct word is "above". I'm above their petty actions, and it's like I'm in a different world than them. I have told everyone my feelings.. and I miss some of them, these intelligent and cool (at times) people but I am not going to hesitate for one second to move away from 'em all... I'm not moving BECAUSE of them, though, don't get me wrong. I just don't like this town in general. A bunch of rednecks who try to supress open minds and simply must know everyone's business at all times. I've dealt with some shit lately that's really pushing me away. My aunt left me a house and I had to kick out some methhead bitch (who lost all 5 of her kids.. because she's on meth.. who never had a job and didn't pay me rent.. because she's on meth... who fucked a bunch of random dudes for money for more meth.. because she's on meth) who tore the fucking house to pieces because I kicked her out. I've had to go to court in the past 6 months 10 times because of her bullshit. She owes me $1410 and she hasn't even begun to pay and I have to go AGAIN because she's counter-suing (?!?!) me, saying that my aunt -- right before she died, though it's not in writing or recorded in any way -- told her she would sell the house to her. My aunt would sell the woman the house? Yeah right. There's no evidence... nothing to prove that... and I know I won't lose this case... she's just delaying things even further... it's just the IDEA, the stress behind having to deal with this shit AGAIN, going on and on and on and on FOREVER. It's just destroying what little faith I have in humanity.

Sorry, I ranted. Um, yeah, it depends on where you're moving to... I'd look into it a bit... a small town would be quieter but offer less job prospects... personally, I'd work for a while NOW, if I could, and save my money for the move... also, it always helps if someone else would move with you... going to be a big new city by yourself has to suck.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by _slavo_

Are you really that sure about that type of people that you attract?

sadly, yes. They seem to detect a highly empathetic and sympathetic nature emanating from my being, and move on in.

From what I read from you, you seem like a mature and smart girl (and quite attractive, to add). So where is the problem with making new friends? You're not that good at communication with people?

I am surprisingly quiet in real time when not drunk. This is often mistaken for bitchy or boring.

If this (plus the lack of money) is the main reason for you not being comfortable with where you're at now, then move on and find a different place. But the question is, if this would really solve your problems?

maybe, Im not sure?

See, I was thinking about this a while ago when I had issues with myself (I was thinking of leaving my country entirely and to move to the U.S.) but I turned the idea down, since the real problem was in my head, and not in the environment, as I had thought before. Now I feel quite ok with where I am and who I am.

Are you staying with your parents now?

Some of it is probably in my head yeh. Some of it isn't. I do wish to escape a few things, I dont know if I want to escape them permanently. I'm living with my partner at the moment. He is part of the 'stuff' I wish to distance myself from in order to get some perspective on my current life path..

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by Trasher02

Why do you want to ditch everything in the first place?

general confusion.

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by phoenix

I am surprisingly quiet in real time when not drunk. This is often mistaken for bitchy or boring.

i'm like that myself, we could be mates.
but you know what? me, being a quiet and decent person, have lots and lots of friends. Not Crypto-style friends, but people I feel really comfortable with. it's all about the approach, I guess. to show you're not really bitchy or boring, although it might look like.

Originally Posted by phoenix

Some of it is probably in my head yeh. Some of it isn't. I do wish to escape a few things, I dont know if I want to escape them permanently. I'm living with my partner at the moment. He is part of the 'stuff' I wish to distance myself from in order to get some perspective on my current life path..

Oh, now i see. The real reason I wanted to escape that time was that I wasn't too happy with my then-relationship and instead of breaking up I wanted to do such a nonsensical thing.
Ditch the dude in the first place, you'll breath more freely.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I am planning on it in a few months. Basically, I'm at a point where everyone around me bothers me and annoys me, except my girlfriend. Bandmates included... everyone's on drugs, everyone's mad that I don't hang out with them and get fucked up out of my mind... I'm a fun guy, and I don't mind drugs, but it has CONSUMED people's lives around me, to the point where they don't work and they steal or borrow money from their parents and stuff. That's their business, and I don't want to comment on it -- I just feel that I'm so much different (not necessarily better -- I'm not condescending here -- but definitely DIFFERENT) than everynoe else, and whatever intelligence they have is being destroyed as they put more holes in their brain. Ah, I'm not better -- maybe the correct word is "above". I'm above their petty actions, and it's like I'm in a different world than them. I have told everyone my feelings.. and I miss some of them, these intelligent and cool (at times) people but I am not going to hesitate for one second to move away from 'em all... I'm not moving BECAUSE of them, though, don't get me wrong. I just don't like this town in general. A bunch of rednecks who try to supress open minds and simply must know everyone's business at all times. I've dealt with some shit lately that's really pushing me away. My aunt left me a house and I had to kick out some methhead bitch (who lost all 5 of her kids.. because she's on meth.. who never had a job and didn't pay me rent.. because she's on meth... who fucked a bunch of random dudes for money for more meth.. because she's on meth) who tore the fucking house to pieces because I kicked her out. I've had to go to court in the past 6 months 10 times because of her bullshit. She owes me $1410 and she hasn't even begun to pay and I have to go AGAIN because she's counter-suing (?!?!) me, saying that my aunt -- right before she died, though it's not in writing or recorded in any way -- told her she would sell the house to her. My aunt would sell the woman the house? Yeah right. There's no evidence... nothing to prove that... and I know I won't lose this case... she's just delaying things even further... it's just the IDEA, the stress behind having to deal with this shit AGAIN, going on and on and on and on FOREVER. It's just destroying what little faith I have in humanity.

Sorry, I ranted. Um, yeah, it depends on where you're moving to... I'd look into it a bit... a small town would be quieter but offer less job prospects... personally, I'd work for a while NOW, if I could, and save my money for the move... also, it always helps if someone else would move with you... going to be a big new city by yourself has to suck.

Feeling lost amongst friends really is awful.. and I've escaped bad or ill fitting circles before, but this isn't like that at the moment. I hope meth head gets the fuck out of yr house though.

There are not so many 'city' options to choose from, only two or three. I dont know. Small towns would turn me into even more of a loner than I am already, and I'm not affraid to admit that. It would be a bad move, I'd get depressed and bored.. and feel restless all over again for the wrong reasons. I like a bigger city, or in the vicinity of.. but it would still scare me at first.

At the moment I dont have the money to up and leave, but I could probably stay here (Im not in my home town at the moment) if I found work straight away. It's probably one of the worst places I could choose to be on my own though.

[blunderbuss]

You're about to hit winter in Australia, aren't you? That's a shame - if it was summer you could head off somewhere to get seasonal work, and consider your life and what you wanted from it. If you liked the new existence, you could stay beyond the summer; if you preferred the old, you could return to base and pick up where you left off.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by _slavo_

i'm like that myself, we could be mates.
but you know what? me, being a quiet and decent person, have lots and lots of friends. Not Crypto-style friends, but people I feel really comfortable with. it's all about the approach, I guess. to show you're not really bitchy or boring, although it might look like.

I've actually lost most of my friends in part due to my current relationship. Over the last few years I've either been discouraged from seeing some, others were sick of my partners ways and there is only so long you can hang out with someon who constantly calls yr partner a jerk, and.. he never wanted to come out with me in a group or with the people I used to see.. The times when we go out in a group with his friends.. well workmaets... I feel like I might as well not be there. I get ignored... Or try to participate in conversation without much response from him. It's as though we've come seperately all together? The worst was a birthday party where he spent most of the night out right flirting with a girl in the next seat over and not saying two words to me. It was over a year ago but ridiculous and humiliating given everything that has gone on.

Originally Posted by _slavo_

Ditch the dude in the first place, you'll breath more freely.

He has thus far made it heart wretchingly difficult to do so, and I am a soppy, sympathetic, stupidly loyal person. Then there is the comfort zone thing. You know.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by blunderbuss

You're about to hit winter in Australia, aren't you? That's a shame - if it was summer you could head off somewhere to get seasonal work, and consider your life and what you wanted from it. If you liked the new existence, you could stay beyond the summer; if you preferred the old, you could return to base and pick up where you left off.

It's coming into winter yes.. There isnt much call for seasonal winter jobs here.. I think the only thing that attracts workers is fruit picking, and that's usually left up to all the UK students on holiday visas hehe.

[blunderbuss]

A lesson that a wise man taught me many years ago:

Never change your life to get away from something - if you're going to make a change, make it because you want to get to something. If you travel without a destination, you will never get to anywhere.

I had to pay for that piece of insight, but you seem like a nice person, so you can have it for free.

[Lamont Cranston]

I'm far too terrified of doing anything at all

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by blunderbuss

A lesson that a wise man taught me many years ago:

Never change your life to get away from something - if you're going to make a change, make it because you want to get to something. If you travel without a destination, you will never get to anywhere.

I had to pay for that piece of insight, but you seem like a nice person, so you can have it for free.

how much did you pay?

good advice though./.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by Lamont Cranston

I'm far too terrified of doing anything at all

doing nothing is worse than doing.. anything. That's why being stagnant gets to me so much.