[Vodka Goblin]

..hey people's how yu doin its the goblin getting on the lines for a bit after a hard night's causin troubles for them wot deservs it, y'gonna be well prowd of me this time yeh reed on for a bit 'n' y'll see yu may remember like i woz onlines for a bit yesterday 'n' all well i logged out cos me mates grippi 'n' floggu 'n' jaffi came round 'n' we had the vodka flowin 'n' all of that but they had calld round cos they had just seen this elven mage walkin round with a scroll case rite so they snuk up behind him 'n' nocked him out 'n then stole his scroll case 'n' guess what was in the case it was only three fukkin scrolls with hold spells on 'em y'kno that like make peeple stand stil for a bit, so me mate jaffi hoo knows about these things a bit right, he said he'd be able t read the scrolls 'n' hold sum peeple so we thought try it on some fukkin GNOME POLICE right so we saw a cupple doin the patrol 'n' jaffi "the professer" red the scroll 'n' HA HA HA IT WAS FUKKIN CLAS, RIGHT 'cos the gnomes WERE FROZEN JUST LIKE FUKKIN STATUES, so wot we did next was genius right, let me tell yu first if theres one things gnomes hate right its GARDEN GNOMES them things piss the gnomes off like proper, so we dragged the frozen gnome police into a garden, sat them by the garden pond 'n' MADE THEM HOLD FISHIN' RODS 'N' STUFF< JUST LIKE GARDEN GNOMES!!!!!! it was so funny we neerly pissed ourselves laffin well actually me mate floggu DID piss himself y'kno from laffin so much, so i drew somepictures of the daft fukkin frozen gnome police 'n' then wee hid right 'n' wen the spell wore off they came round 'n' they WERE SO FUKKIN ANGRY 'N' MAD 'n' they were looki for wh'd dun it fuk it i'm still laffin now i can't see the screen proply for the tears of lafter the goblins gonna go and compose imself now take care 'n' luk out for the gnomes 'n' all yeh.

[porkmarras]

It's fine by me.

[Vodka Goblin]

Ha ha glad yu red me message, last night right we drew some copies of the pictures we made 'n' then we went 'n' stuk them on the walls of the gnome police station, brillyant laf that was then we just went and got pissed reely i the Forest of Light, well noisy we were to mayk shure we kept the elves awake, we were tearin' through the forest all nite ha ha daft fukkin elves they were all tryin to find us ANYWAY HEERS THE THING, right hey listen right the thing is y'kno we fownd three of them scroll things right wich meens we got two left 'n' we don't kno how to use them so any suggeshtuns are appreshyated y'kno sorry gotta go mrs goblin wants sumthin, this 'n' that, y'kno a bit of that most probably ha ha goblins about to get happy see yu soon yeh.

[alyasa]

that's so cool, did you guys beat up any elves?

[Vodka Goblin]

Originally Posted by alyasa

that's so cool, did you guys beat up any elves?

Well y'kno there was this one group of elves that neerly caught us right OH HEY HI ALYASA HOW Y'DOIN Y'DOIN COOL EH GREAT THAT'S COOL anyway these elves neerly caught us there was like seven of them an' only four of us but thats elves for yu, y'kno they crap and all oppressives on the goblins, they came up to us tryin to luk all hard like wich is funny 'cos elves DO NOT LUK HARD AT ALL like so we start laffin at them and runnin' in circles wile they try to catch us, daft fukkin elves, then when we had enuff we just ran into them 'n' nokked them to the floor, then we ran off singin' like HEY THE DAFT FUKKIN ELVES ARE FUKKIN SHIT y'kno, so we got away but the elves had seen us like 'n' they must hav reported us to the gnome police 'cos today ight the gnomes were arownd the village askin' all these qweshtons to us, but baysicly evrywon just told them to fuk off 'cos thats wot we do, they just cheeky gnomes y'kno, the goblin mite hav to lie low for a day or too not be seen too much ha ha it was worth it tho.

[Sheriff Rhys Chatham]

holy fuckin' jive talk, man.
Sundz intestin', ta' gnomes n' all, yu no?

[Everyneurotic]

by the way, there's a new deicide album on the way!!

[!@#$%!]

fuking vodka goblin rules

i think maybe he lives at the bottom of diesel's empty bottles

[Vodka Goblin]

Originally Posted by Everyneurotic

by the way, there's a new deicide album on the way!!

Hey hi Sherriffs rys hope yur doin well HEY EVRYNUROTIKS 'n hi !"£$! thats a name iinnit hey thats like the best news i 'ope it's a gud won well they all gud like grate tunes 'n' grate lyrics y'kno like ENCHANTER OF PAIN AUGHH WRAUGHH WRAUGHHHHHHHHHHH thats a gud one 'n' HEY FROM THE LAND OF NO RETURN AUGHH WRAUGHHH FRAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH all gud sum new deicide top fukkin trollbones, bit difficult to get tho cos wen we want sumthin like that we have to get Dristilla the local wizardess to mayk a magic portal 'n' summon it through its the only way, HEY DRISTILLA'S like well smart tho cos right she hates the elves 'n' the gnomes too so ushually she gives us jobs like "go 'n' set fyre to the gnome police station" or "fynd an elven mage 'n' steal sum of 'is stuf" 'n' lyke thats just the kind of thing we do anyways y'kno so its grate reely we get stuf thru the portal 'n' also like Dristilla she gives us a free meal too cos she lykes us hey she 'as grate food like proper caykes wif proper custard not just bad old yello milk 'n' all fukkin grate it is HEY THANKS FOR THE TIP 'N' STAY COOL 'n' that last bits for all of yu take care yeh.

[Norma J]

HAHA. You've got to read Vodka Goblin's posts, with the voice of Spud from Trainspotting in mind. HAHA.

[Everyneurotic]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

fuking vodka goblin rules

i think maybe he lives at the bottom of diesel's empty bottles

he is a genie in a bottle.
you have to rub him the right way.

[porkmarras]

Originally Posted by Vodka Goblin

Well y'kno there was this one group of elves that neerly caught us right OH HEY HI ALYASA HOW Y'DOIN Y'DOIN COOL EH GREAT THAT'S COOL anyway these elves neerly caught us there was like seven of them an' only four of us but thats elves for yu, y'kno they crap and all oppressives on the goblins, they came up to us tryin to luk all hard like wich is funny 'cos elves DO NOT LUK HARD AT ALL like so we start laffin at them and runnin' in circles wile they try to catch us, daft fukkin elves, then when we had enuff we just ran into them 'n' nokked them to the floor, then we ran off singin' like HEY THE DAFT FUKKIN ELVES ARE FUKKIN SHIT y'kno, so we got away but the elves had seen us like 'n' they must hav reported us to the gnome police 'cos today ight the gnomes were arownd the village askin' all these qweshtons to us, but baysicly evrywon just told them to fuk off 'cos thats wot we do, they just cheeky gnomes y'kno, the goblin mite hav to lie low for a day or too not be seen too much ha ha it was worth it tho.

Pure class.

[alyasa]

Originally Posted by Norma J

HAHA. You've got to read Vodka Goblin's posts, with the voice of Spud from Trainspotting in mind. HAHA.

Actually I pciture him with this guy's voice

 

[porkmarras]

Originally Posted by alyasa

Actually I pciture him with this guy's voice

 

That looks like any number of chavs who live where Toilet & Bowels does and i used to.

[alyasa]

That's Devvo, eh, right, mate? Could you give us a fag then, crikey? I lef me fags in the drawer in me bedroom at 'ome, then. Could you then, mate?

[alyasa]

It's just listening to Devvo talk makes me feel breathless.

[porkmarras]

Was you?

[porkmarras]

 

[alyasa]

 

[Vodka Goblin]

Originally Posted by Vodka Goblin, which is me, acshuly, I sed this like a bit ago HEY GO BAK 'N' CHEK IF Y'WANT y'kno

the goblin mite hav to lie low for a day or too not be seen too much ha ha it was worth it tho.

FUKKIN BASTAD GNOME POLICE right, baysicly they figgurred owt who it wos who had stolen the scrolls 'n' cast hold on the gnomes 'n' was causin trubbles in th forest so they did like this big search, 'n' me 'n' me mates grippi 'n' floggu 'n' jaffi were hidin in a cave in the forest for a day or so but y'kno after a wile we started needin' a piss, espeshly 'cos we'd spent the whole time drinkn vodka ha ha, 'n' wen we came out of the cave the BASTAD FUKKIN GNOME POLICE were there 'n' they had this BASTAD FUKKIN elf mage who cast a big web spell 'n' trapped us, so for the past day or too we've bin in the police staion bein queshtioned, but we just kept like tellin' the gnome police to

FUK OFF

'cos thats wot we say to 'em y'kno cos yu have to right, but then right AND YOU WILL NOT FUKKIN BELEEVE THIS RIGHT, Dristilla the wizardess herd of owr plight, 'n' get this, she summoned a baby dragon 'n' the baby dragon flew to the gnome police station 'n' fukkin flew rite into the walls like totaly demollishin' it, 'n' then the dragon started to BREATHE FUKKIN FIRE AT ALL THE GNOME POLICE, 'n' basicly they all got taken to the scummy elf hospital for curin, 'cos they all singed 'n' in shok 'n' all, so then right 'n' this is the best bit THE GOBLIN GOT A RIDE HOME ON A BABY DRAGON fukkin clas it was top bloody trollbones, on the way we flew over the Forest of Light 'n' we all had a piss on the elven treehowses, ha ha mrs goblin's well chuffed to see me yeh so i gotta go 'n' see to 'er needs in a minute eh so LOVE TO DRISTILLA THE WIZARDESS Y'KOOL Y'KNO 'n' take care on the boards 'n' don't tell no-one about things ha ha yeh.