How Often Do You Masturbate?

noumenal · 03.28.2006, 01:15 AM

Vote.

dietzer123 · 03.28.2006, 01:17 AM

if i could i would sit at home all day and masturbate but currently i can only manage 3-4 times a week. i'm trying to increase by beating off everytime i have an urge to check this fucking forum

marleypumpkin · 03.28.2006, 01:17 AM

How do we vote? By PM? & what are our choices?

noumenal · 03.28.2006, 01:19 AM

now

edit: when someone is making a poll, you have to wait a couple minutes while they write the choices.

marleypumpkin · 03.28.2006, 01:22 AM

2-4 times a week. I haven't had actual sex in 5 years, so this is all I have to make me feel good.

dietzer123 · 03.28.2006, 01:23 AM

it fucking freaks me out so many people are touching themselves when they come to this forum

noumenal · 03.28.2006, 01:24 AM

well, I didn't realize I would get such candid responses

marleypumpkin · 03.28.2006, 01:30 AM

Well, I have to release tension somehow. (ha ha)

noumenal · 03.28.2006, 01:33 AM

This is what get's me going:

"The ethereal harmonies of the laserpipe orchestra echoed off the solid diamond walls of the Galactic Overlord's pleasure chamber. As I slowly made my way through the gyrating throng of human, plasmid, and arachnoid revelers, the arcanite sensors on my integrated detectograph started going haywire. "Just as I thought," I thought. "She's here."

It was another two hundred ticks until I saw her, dancing languidly with a spice runner out of Betelgeuse VII. He was a hulking brute, with a wickedly edged macrosword slung over the back of his metaluminum armor, the kind that would have struck cold fear into the heart of a lesser man. But I was no lesser man. "Mind if I cut in?" I intoned, silencing the smuggler's enraged grumble of objection with a stealthy blast from my deliminator rifle.

"What took you so long?" cooed Abraxxia, her words subtly quavering with the universal inflections of desire. Ignoring my own fierce need, I furiously scanned my surroundings for danger -- she was crafty, and I knew that the slightest mistake would prove fatal. Not just for myself, but for the entire United Alliance. Inevitably, my gaze settled back upon the smooth curves of skin that peeked out from under her transparent holodress. How many rounds of Uranian Megasex would it take before she surrendered the alloy?"

stirling · 03.28.2006, 01:44 AM

іHott!

marleypumpkin · 03.28.2006, 01:46 AM

Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend right now.

noumenal · 03.28.2006, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marleypumpkin

Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend right now.

OK, I can see where you're going with this and the answer is no. Sorry.

dietzer123 · 03.28.2006, 02:37 AM

ah i just broke up with my girlfriend and it's wonderful. it was a perfectly clean break and everyone is happier now

Hip Priest · 03.28.2006, 06:10 AM

Gosh.

whorefrost · 03.28.2006, 06:21 AM

it helps me get to sleep

Gulasch Noir · 03.28.2006, 06:36 AM

I have a girlfriend now, but before i used to masturbate nearly every day

Inhuman · 03.28.2006, 10:35 AM

Sex about every 2 weeks, and 2-4 times a week regularly. It's hard to get to sleep without it

Everyneurotic · 03.28.2006, 10:42 AM

hahahahahahahaha

the "i'm doing it RIGHT NOW!" option is the shit!!!!

2-4 times a week...i have lady problems

truncated · 03.28.2006, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noumenal

This is what get's me going:

"The ethereal harmonies of the laserpipe orchestra echoed off the solid diamond walls of the Galactic Overlord's pleasure chamber. As I slowly made my way through the gyrating throng of human, plasmid, and arachnoid revelers, the arcanite sensors on my integrated detectograph started going haywire. "Just as I thought," I thought. "She's here."

It was another two hundred ticks until I saw her, dancing languidly with a spice runner out of Betelgeuse VII. He was a hulking brute, with a wickedly edged macrosword slung over the back of his metaluminum armor, the kind that would have struck cold fear into the heart of a lesser man. But I was no lesser man. "Mind if I cut in?" I intoned, silencing the smuggler's enraged grumble of objection with a stealthy blast from my deliminator rifle.

"What took you so long?" cooed Abraxxia, her words subtly quavering with the universal inflections of desire. Ignoring my own fierce need, I furiously scanned my surroundings for danger -- she was crafty, and I knew that the slightest mistake would prove fatal. Not just for myself, but for the entire United Alliance. Inevitably, my gaze settled back upon the smooth curves of skin that peeked out from under her transparent holodress. How many rounds of Uranian Megasex would it take before she surrendered the alloy?"

When you post something like that, how can we help ourselves?

Savage Clone · 03.28.2006, 12:08 PM

Yeah, that shit is white-hot.

View Poll Results: How Often Do You Masturbate?
Never.	4	6.78%
Rarely.	2	3.39%
Once a week.	4	6.78%
2-4 times a week.	22	37.29%
Once a day.	16	27.12%
Twice a day.	4	6.78%
More than twice a day.	1	1.69%
I'm doing it RIGHT NOW.	6	10.17%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

03.28.2006, 01:15 AM	#1
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	Vote.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:17 AM	#2
dietzer123 stalker Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 419	if i could i would sit at home all day and masturbate but currently i can only manage 3-4 times a week. i'm trying to increase by beating off everytime i have an urge to check this fucking forum __________________ I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.-bill hicks
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:17 AM	#3
marleypumpkin invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 3,193	How do we vote? By PM? & what are our choices? __________________ "It takes 2 fingers to make the peace sign. Just like it takes 2 people to make love. When you go like this , you're jerking off." -George Carlin
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:19 AM	#4
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	now edit: when someone is making a poll, you have to wait a couple minutes while they write the choices.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:22 AM	#5
marleypumpkin invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 3,193	2-4 times a week. I haven't had actual sex in 5 years, so this is all I have to make me feel good. __________________ "It takes 2 fingers to make the peace sign. Just like it takes 2 people to make love. When you go like this , you're jerking off." -George Carlin
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:23 AM	#6
dietzer123 stalker Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 419	it fucking freaks me out so many people are touching themselves when they come to this forum __________________ I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.-bill hicks
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:24 AM	#7
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	well, I didn't realize I would get such candid responses
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:30 AM	#8
marleypumpkin invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 3,193	Well, I have to release tension somehow. (ha ha) __________________ "It takes 2 fingers to make the peace sign. Just like it takes 2 people to make love. When you go like this , you're jerking off." -George Carlin
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:33 AM	#9
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	This is what get's me going: "The ethereal harmonies of the laserpipe orchestra echoed off the solid diamond walls of the Galactic Overlord's pleasure chamber. As I slowly made my way through the gyrating throng of human, plasmid, and arachnoid revelers, the arcanite sensors on my integrated detectograph started going haywire. "Just as I thought," I thought. "She's here." It was another two hundred ticks until I saw her, dancing languidly with a spice runner out of Betelgeuse VII. He was a hulking brute, with a wickedly edged macrosword slung over the back of his metaluminum armor, the kind that would have struck cold fear into the heart of a lesser man. But I was no lesser man. "Mind if I cut in?" I intoned, silencing the smuggler's enraged grumble of objection with a stealthy blast from my deliminator rifle. "What took you so long?" cooed Abraxxia, her words subtly quavering with the universal inflections of desire. Ignoring my own fierce need, I furiously scanned my surroundings for danger -- she was crafty, and I knew that the slightest mistake would prove fatal. Not just for myself, but for the entire United Alliance. Inevitably, my gaze settled back upon the smooth curves of skin that peeked out from under her transparent holodress. How many rounds of Uranian Megasex would it take before she surrendered the alloy?"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:44 AM	#10
stirling bad moon rising Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 191	іHott!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 01:46 AM	#11
marleypumpkin invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 3,193	Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend right now. __________________ "It takes 2 fingers to make the peace sign. Just like it takes 2 people to make love. When you go like this , you're jerking off." -George Carlin
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 02:37 AM	#13
dietzer123 stalker Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 419	ah i just broke up with my girlfriend and it's wonderful. it was a perfectly clean break and everyone is happier now __________________ I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.-bill hicks
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.28.2006, 06:10 AM	#14
Hip Priest invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Birkenhead Posts: 9,397	Gosh. __________________ Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. http://www.flickr.com/photos/outsidethecamp/
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03.28.2006, 06:21 AM	#15
whorefrost invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arrived in Smoke, Arrived in Gold Posts: 2,572	it helps me get to sleep
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03.28.2006, 06:36 AM	#16
Gulasch Noir the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Vienna Posts: 862	I have a girlfriend now, but before i used to masturbate nearly every day
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03.28.2006, 10:35 AM	#17
Inhuman invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,807	Sex about every 2 weeks, and 2-4 times a week regularly. It's hard to get to sleep without it
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03.28.2006, 10:42 AM	#18
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	hahahahahahahaha the "i'm doing it RIGHT NOW!" option is the shit!!!! 2-4 times a week...i have lady problems __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
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03.28.2006, 12:08 PM	#20
Savage Clone invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 11,290	Yeah, that shit is white-hot.
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