04.29.2012, 08:13 PM | #1 |
the end of the ugly
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So I graduated college last June with a bachelor's in history and I've been looking for jobs. I'm a substitute teacher but no districts are hiring. I've tried finding research or writing jobs but no luck. I've lost my shitty warehouse job and am unemployed so I've had to move back in with my parents. On top of that most of my friends have moved away, I only have one really close one.
I just feel lost. I don't wanna work for the rest of my life. It's a depressing thought to me; having a career, and a family, day in day out, wasted. I dunno why. I just wish I could leave, I'm tired of Southern CAli. I have no desire for anything material anymore. Have you guys ever felt lost in life? Maybe some older posters can share their experiences. |
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04.29.2012, 08:23 PM | #2 |
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I don't know what you mean by lack of desire for "anything material"-- air, food, water, shelter, clothing and a nice clean bed are always a plus in my book, especially when I'm feeling crummy. They are very material. Human flesh to press against is also material, and very very nice.
Just hang in there man, endure, and try to make some changes. It will take time but you have to. It's a shitty economy, your degree is shit, and there is no demand for what you supply where you are--California, very high unemployment. So right there you gotta change something-- what you supply or where you supply it. You could also wait until California changes but that's too passive for my taste. The laws of economics are as real as the weather-- it's best not to ignore them. I could tell you some things but somebody else could tell it better-- read "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich". That little fucker was tough as nails and can teach everybody a few things. Endure! Give depression the finger! But also, while you deal with things, remember: So yeah, watch who is around you and what effect they might have on you, how they treat you, etc. Anyway don't believe the religious bullshit about the uselessness of material things. You are a body, which is a material thing. Mind your matter. I've always felt great after a nice meal, a good fuck, and a hot shower-- who wouldn't? The point is that you need to take care of yourself as a material being-- don't believe the hype, and also don't believe that the world owes you anything-- you get back what you put in, economics requires that you serve a need-- a material need-- so that your material needs are taken care of in return. It's a market. This thing about "I don't wanna work" is a load of pussy talk. Don't go down that rabbit hole or you'll get lost (I did, a long time ago). Being broke is shit but being broken is worse. Don't let the fuckers break you. Your (supposedly) shitty warehouse job lost-- you're collecting unemployment, yes? Cuz you've been paying into it all these years and you have a right to collect. Apply for your checks. Get some money in your pocket. Say "fuck you" to death, punch it in the nuts and start scoring small victories until they add up to big ones. You'll feel better as soon as you start-- which is why I recommended that Solzhenitsyn book. If he could turn a shit day in a Siberian concentration camp into a win then maybe we can score a win in Culifornia, Nueva York, Alaska, Detroit, or whatever other place. -- PS- why don'y you get yourself a churro cart man. if that's one of your interests in life, you could beat everyone else at it. fuck "research" and "writing"-- give the people what they want-- churros! (or something equally tasty). market economy. use it in your favor. |
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04.29.2012, 11:19 PM | #3 |
expwy. to yr skull
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i recommend enjoying and creating some music and movies. sounds silly but write some tunes and go to some auditions, it's worked for people before
it's not very constructive maybe, but going out and enjoying a party or something is always a good idea, everybody needs a reminder here and there that life can actually be enjoyable also i think !@#$% is maybe taking the idea of not wanting material things a bit far, i didn't interpret it as sonikjesus wanting to forgo all material including his own flesh. rather simply as not wanting to devote his entire life to a career that gets him things he doesn't really want (and that is how many americans live, and it is pretty pointless and depressing) 'keeping up with the joneses' it's called |
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04.29.2012, 11:21 PM | #4 |
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actually i hate to say this but it's 2012 so i guess i should start calling it keeping up with the kardashians
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04.30.2012, 01:17 AM | #5 |
the end of the ugly
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It's not that I don't wanna work for being lazy. It's that it gets me down. Like, "this is all people do, just work for a paycheck, go home, and do it again." So fucked up.
I meant material things like physical objects I can buy. I have been writing songs a lot now though cause i'm unemployed. They just keep coming. And it feels good cause when I used to work I have these great ideas (to me) and I'll make a note on my phone or I'll just forget but by the time I get home I'm too tired to get t it. I don't know, I guess capitalism and my realization of what it really is as a societal system has got me down. |
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04.30.2012, 01:47 AM | #6 |
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04.30.2012, 03:07 AM | #7 | |
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see? you're being depressive and yet there's so many possibilities around you and you just don't realize. tell you what. i live in a small Eastern European country, now a member of European union since 2005. We get by and the economy is developing, however the global crisis hasn't avoided us either and there is very high unemployment rate etc etc. What i wanted to say though, is that in my position, i can't really choose. Over here, you either work your ass off and become a part of the so-called management or you're stuck with some desperate low-paid job and you have serious problems making ends meet. I chose the first option, i work hard and am under constant pressure (i work in marketing) but I get paid well, am able to pay all the bills and mortgage all by myself and have enough cash to afford things I like. BUT! When I was in the US (or UK, for that matter), the people I worked with there (for example on a gas station in Baltimore, MD) kept telling me they don't need to make any kind of 'career', because they simply get by with doing a simple less qualified job, they pay their bills and they lead a stress-free live and can take care about the things they really want to care about. If there was a possibility like that over here, i'd gladly forget about my 'career', become a cashier in a supermarket or a carpenter or whatever and focus on my music, focus on people around me and get rid of all the pressure. You know what i'm trying to say? Why don't you just get your shitty warehouse job back and start writing songs of your own? Why do you have to put so much on your shoulders? I'm not encouraging you to be a lazy-ass slacker, I just want you to choose a path you'd enjoy.
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04.30.2012, 03:25 AM | #8 |
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^ wow. Actual advice. I was actually expecting some snide remark. But...nope. Very insightful.
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04.30.2012, 03:51 AM | #9 |
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i can understand your feelings
also the advice people give you me, not lost like that just simpefly it as a young person |
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04.30.2012, 12:46 PM | #10 | |
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Doesn't sound very inviting (constant pressure ...). Different situation 50 km westwards, for sure, not to the same extent ... Hope you still find time to rest. |
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04.30.2012, 02:45 PM | #11 | |
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i'm not taking it far at all. in my world, which is that of an independent adult, "no work" means no money, which means no house, no food, no heating or electricity, which is a shit way to die. the entire life/ career/ kardashians thing is a different story, icing on a cake, if there is one. you gotta be able to survive before you think about breast implants (ha). but seriously. look @ maslow's hierarchy of needs: there is a lot of valid criticism about how that hierarchy was constructed. but basically what it signals is that it's hard to paint landscapes or record music when you've had no sleep because the rats were biting you all night. garcia marquez said somewhere that the starving artist myth was bullshit, and that you write better after a good meal, in an air-conditioned room, on an electric typewriter (the "computer" of his day). anyway, more on that here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs and yeah, it's not a perfect model of course, but it reminds you of some basic facts of nature. there are few feelings so great as waking up in the morning to finding a fridge stocked with tasty breakfast foods, and i'm very grateful for that every day. of course you can only appreciate this when you've been without and you can tell the difference. this morning i had hot oatmeal with cocoa and maple syrup and toasted almonds, and fresh coffee, and an orange. it was delicious. nothing like starting the day with a small victory over cold and hunger and destitution, it makes all the battles of the day ahead much more winnable. i had a nice lunch too but i think i made my point with breakfast. once you're alive and breathing you have a lot more choices in life. you definitely don't have to follow everybody else's path. but like GGM said, it's a lot easier with a full stomach. |
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04.30.2012, 03:35 PM | #12 |
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I don't think being creative is going to help this guy. He needs to get over himself and face things like a man.
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04.30.2012, 03:40 PM | #13 |
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04.30.2012, 05:39 PM | #14 | |
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this world isn't downton abbey--women have to work too! |
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04.30.2012, 05:55 PM | #15 | |
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04.30.2012, 05:59 PM | #16 | |
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say it, then-- face things like a woman! |
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04.30.2012, 06:04 PM | #17 | |
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grow some ovaries, bitch! -- what im trying to say is that this isn't a gender or machismo issue. |
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04.30.2012, 06:16 PM | #18 | |
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you, probably, since you came up with the idea? also, transgenders. the ones i know work their butts off. |
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04.30.2012, 06:30 PM | #19 | |
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oh i see. sounds unpleasant. the transgender thing wasn't a joke btw. i know this transgender couple. he was a she and she was a he and they are both very smart & really good at their professions, balls/no balls notwithstanding. |
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04.30.2012, 07:00 PM | #20 |
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^ Buahaha
Yep. Thanks to my family, I learned work is a tool to find meaning in life. You make it seem like you're only collecting a pay check, but I think it's more than that. I mean....work is just another community in which you involve yourself in living everyday. Just keep an eye out. I've had a warehouse job for basically my whole life. It's not that bad...in fact I like to do it, but not for the rest of my life. I eventually would like to move to an area where jobs are more stable. but yeah...basically listen to Asskiss. Just find ajob. |
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