My computer is a cunt

porkmarras · 01.07.2007, 11:33 AM

It started behaving funnily again and it wont do what i ask(not tell him,mind)it to do whenever i want it to do it.There's not talking to it and it told me to go impale myself.Cunt!

HaydenAsche · 01.07.2007, 11:35 AM

It won't even fuck off?

Usually, that's all my shitty computer will do.

porkmarras · 01.07.2007, 11:38 AM

There's no reasoning with it.I've scanned the twat but i can still see a smirk on its screen whenever i'm attempting to check the mature sex websites.Cheeky sod!

HaydenAsche · 01.07.2007, 11:40 AM

What a smartass computer. I'd come to the UK and fuck it up but I'm far too hungover. Maybe later.

cuetzpalin · 01.07.2007, 11:43 AM

krastian · 01.09.2007, 12:47 AM

So is mine......fucker.

SynthethicalY · 01.09.2007, 01:10 AM

Ah get a better one porky.

!@#$%! · 01.09.2007, 01:26 AM

you need a COCK computer porkie. you'll be much happier. as for yours, you can sell it on ebay-- internet porn box w/ integrated cunt makes jerking off a lot easier.

jon boy · 01.09.2007, 05:01 AM

is your computer being stupid because you have not got an original version of windows? thats what mine has been doing. is there a way of getting round this without forking out for it?

Tokolosh · 01.09.2007, 05:10 AM

No wonder it's behaving funny!

porkmarras · 01.09.2007, 05:12 AM

Is that the Peticot 500?

Tokolosh · 01.09.2007, 05:16 AM

Yes. I've had it for a year and it still hasn't crashed.

porkmarras · 01.09.2007, 05:18 AM

If it's the original one created by Patricia(no surname),it has also a body spray on the side.

porkmarras · 01.09.2007, 05:20 AM

Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny.

jon boy · 01.09.2007, 05:21 AM

i'm rapping i'm rapping i'm rapidy rapping.

porkmarras · 01.09.2007, 05:23 AM

Look Around You: Computers

When most of us think of Bournemouth we think of the quaint seaside town, famous for tourism and battery acid manufacturing.
Pictured right (inset) is another Bournemouth. This one is the most powerful computer ever built in Britain. Above is Bournemouth's chief programmer, Computer Jones.
Bournemouth is so powerful he perceives ordinary people to be morons. He is able to solve thousands of complex theoretical problems in the time it would take us to eat a slice of Antmas Eve pie.
By the year 1990 there could be as many as 10,000 computers in britain.
Experts like Computer Jones will eventually become irrelevant as, by then, computers will be able to program themselves, clean their own laser ribbons and will even be able to help us organise trade union ballots.
More from Computers

PLAY DIARRHEA DAN: You can now play this popular toilet-based computer game. Diarrhea Dan must race against the clock to get into every cubicle and win vital loo paper by answering the toilet-related questions.

porkmarras · 01.09.2007, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy

i'm rapping i'm rapping i'm rapidy rapping.

I'm rapping all day,i'm rapping all night.I'm rapping..........rapping.........ra-ra-rapping!

Tokolosh · 01.09.2007, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras

Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny.

Haven't seen it yet, but it looks funny. There must be some of it on Youtube?

jon boy · 01.09.2007, 05:31 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryAAWJOujoI

hope that link works.

Tokolosh · 01.09.2007, 05:40 AM

Oh yeah! I remember seeing the Sulphur one.

01.07.2007, 11:33 AM	#1
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	It started behaving funnily again and it wont do what i ask(not tell him,mind)it to do whenever i want it to do it.There's not talking to it and it told me to go impale myself.Cunt! __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.07.2007, 11:35 AM	#2
HaydenAsche invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 10,755	It won't even fuck off? Usually, that's all my shitty computer will do. __________________ rip
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.07.2007, 11:38 AM	#3
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	There's no reasoning with it.I've scanned the twat but i can still see a smirk on its screen whenever i'm attempting to check the mature sex websites.Cheeky sod! __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.07.2007, 11:40 AM	#4
HaydenAsche invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 10,755	What a smartass computer. I'd come to the UK and fuck it up but I'm far too hungover. Maybe later. __________________ rip
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.07.2007, 11:43 AM	#5
cuetzpalin the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Czech republic Posts: 997	__________________ Co-founder of uber-kool outsiders' club. member of Pookie's fan club
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 12:47 AM	#6
krastian invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Baltimore Posts: 7,808	So is mine......fucker. __________________ Confusion is next and next after that is the Truth.
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01.09.2007, 01:10 AM	#7
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	Ah get a better one porky.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 01:26 AM	#8
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,648	you need a COCK computer porkie. you'll be much happier. as for yours, you can sell it on ebay-- internet porn box w/ integrated cunt makes jerking off a lot easier.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:01 AM	#9
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	is your computer being stupid because you have not got an original version of windows? thats what mine has been doing. is there a way of getting round this without forking out for it? __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:10 AM	#10
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	No wonder it's behaving funny!
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01.09.2007, 05:12 AM	#11
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	Is that the Peticot 500? __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:16 AM	#12
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	Yes. I've had it for a year and it still hasn't crashed.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:18 AM	#13
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	If it's the original one created by Patricia(no surname),it has also a body spray on the side. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:20 AM	#14
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	Tokolosh,get the second series of 'Look Around You' and you'll see what i'm talking about.I've been re-watching it loads of late.Avoid the first one as it is ok but not that funny. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:21 AM	#15
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	i'm rapping i'm rapping i'm rapidy rapping. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:23 AM	#16
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	Look Around You: Computers When most of us think of Bournemouth we think of the quaint seaside town, famous for tourism and battery acid manufacturing. Pictured right (inset) is another Bournemouth. This one is the most powerful computer ever built in Britain. Above is Bournemouth's chief programmer, Computer Jones. Bournemouth is so powerful he perceives ordinary people to be morons. He is able to solve thousands of complex theoretical problems in the time it would take us to eat a slice of Antmas Eve pie. By the year 1990 there could be as many as 10,000 computers in britain. Experts like Computer Jones will eventually become irrelevant as, by then, computers will be able to program themselves, clean their own laser ribbons and will even be able to help us organise trade union ballots. More from Computers PLAY DIARRHEA DAN: You can now play this popular toilet-based computer game. Diarrhea Dan must race against the clock to get into every cubicle and win vital loo paper by answering the toilet-related questions. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:31 AM	#19
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryAAWJOujoI hope that link works. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.09.2007, 05:40 AM	#20
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	Oh yeah! I remember seeing the Sulphur one.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|