[Alex's Trip]

ever wanted something bad to happen to yourself? I have. It is really strange. Sometimes I think, what if I were in a wheelchair or got in a terrible car accident or got kidnapped, and I think that and wish it would happen. Why the hell do I think these things? Do I want attention? I don't think so. What the hell is wrong with me?

[HaydenAsche]

You are fucking weird man.

Kidding. I can't remember a time that I have actually felt like this but I understand. It is kind of scary though.

[Daycare Nation]

I don't have an appetite today....Sometimes I think about surviving without having to eat food...it's like I want to reject physical reality and deny my body. I've always been thin...it's partly genetic but I wonder how much has to do with my temperament, or whether I'm borderline anorexic.

[acousticrock87]

There have been times in my life that I felt like that, but not in a while so it's hard to relate. I think it's pretty normal. Could have to do with wanting attention, or possibly just wanting to be able to speak for people that have had bad things happen - It's harder to be taken seriously about tragedy when your life is just fine. I don't know, I'm kind of throwing things out there.

[finding nobody]

i do the same stuff. for a while i thought i was crazy. and the more you think youre crazy, the more you feel like you are.
there's some weird from of OCD where people do it really bad. i think i saw it on dr. phil. this lady like obsessed over killing her new-born baby. i was never that bad..

[Laila]

no i'm scared of pain. but i have thought of stuff like that while high, but that doesn't count cause i wasn't in the right state of mind.

[alyasa]

I have had urges to cut myself with razor blades. Not out of depression or angst, purely out of this overwhelming curiousity and need, I think? That's the best I can describe it. It feels like I have to just pick up a razor and run it across my body...

[Alex's Trip]

The scariest thought I've had would be the time I thought that things might be better if my mother was dead. It scared me that I thought that, but I was sane enough to know that these thoughts weren't normal, and that I'd never do anything to my mother. But why did I think that? I don't even know what 'things' would be better.

[HaydenAsche]

I've thought about having relative die before. Once, for a week straight I cried myself to bed because I thought I was going to die. I wasn't sick or in danger. Just paranoid or something.

[themawt71]

alex- i dont think this is really abnormal. self destruction in whatever form seems to be a given part of the human condition. hows yr life these days. maybe you are just so bored with everything that anything drastic would be welcome. maybe not tho.

every now and then dying doesnt seem like it would be that bad. not yet tho-yes.

[umjammer atomsk]

I've felt this way before. I'm not sure what brings it about by sometimes I do long for things to happen to me. Sometimes I feel guilty when I think about people who have had things happen to them or have a some sort of illness and feel like they're more worthy of the health I have. But most of the time I just start feeling bad and I wish something terrible would happen to me for no reason. Can't say if it's about the attention I would recieve afterwards though.

As of the last year I've been pretty detached from any sort of social interactions. When I went to school everyday, it was more like a surreal experience; sortof dreamlike like I wasn't really there, I don't know. I started getting those strong feelings, though. But I really don't think I would ever act on any of it.

[alyasa]

Self-improvement is masturbation, self-destruction is the answer.


"Fight Club caters well to our post-modern generation by preaching things it simultaneously mocks. This line embodies this modern commercial necessity well. "Self-improvement is masturbation." Amazing. But how many of you said: "No, that's a ludicrously adolescent thing to say; everyone who's graduated their teenage years knows very well that self-destruction is masturbation, that Trent Reznor and the process of glorifying one's own personal suffering into a poignant tragedy, that's masturbation. Everyone knows that."
A statement is made about the condition of mankind. This statement reflects a hidden truth, but looks and sounds good, because it's shrouded thickly in fashionable kitsch.
The people who are being criticized applaud. The people who are criticizing them applaud. Everyone eats their popcorn, speaks highly of the film, and buys the DVD.
Our main characters are on the bus. They see a picture of a guy in his underwear advertising Calvin Klein or whatever. Protagonist remarks: "Is that what a real man looks like?" Brad Pitt answers no. Everyone answers no. But is there any way around the fact that the guy in his undies looks like Brad Pitt?
Only from the safe dignity of kitsch can one effectively criticize kitsch."

-from http://www.everything2.com/, article originally appears in "self-improvement is masturbation, self-destruction is the answer" by Jackson Mayhem, appeared Fri Dec 21 2001 at 18:24:09

[Daycare Nation]

Originally Posted by umjammer atomsk

I've felt this way before. I'm not sure what brings it about by sometimes I do long for things to happen to me. Sometimes I feel guilty when I think about people who have had things happen to them or have a some sort of illness and feel like they're more worthy of the health I have. But most of the time I just start feeling bad and I wish something terrible would happen to me for no reason. Can't say if it's about the attention I would recieve afterwards though.

As of the last year I've been pretty detached from any sort of social interactions. When I went to school everyday, it was more like a surreal experience; sortof dreamlike like I wasn't really there, I don't know. I started getting those strong feelings, though. But I really don't think I would ever act on any of it.

You need to meditate on your self-worth. If you don't feel worthy, then focus on things you enjoy and try to improve yourself.

[Style]

I never wanted bad things to happen to me. but I find comfort in depression, and it makes for really great art. I also prefer being isolated than with my friends. Maybe its all a bit sociopathic in a way.

[umjammer atomsk]

I've heard that art excuse so many times it makes me nauseous now.

[John Violence]

"I like to get hurt, I like to fall on my face"-Jason Jesse

It's kinda true if you skate. But I think it's kinda normal to like pain at certain times.

[nw83]

I often fantasise about accidents which would leave me crippled, and my disabled life afterwards. I like the idea that such an accident would free me of responsibilities, and of the pressures to succeed, financially and socially.

I could sit in my cosy, small flat and live off my sickness benefits, which I would spend on books. Yes, a quiet, respectable, scholarly life! I would be content, and, because I wouldn't be working, I wouldn't feel competitive or envious; only wise.

Overall, I think I want to justify a lifetime of unemployment.

[truncated]

Originally Posted by nw83

I often fantasise about accidents which would leave me crippled, and my disabled life afterwards. I like the idea that such an accident would free me of responsibilities, and of the pressures to succeed, financially and socially.

I could sit in my cosy, small flat and live off my sickness benefits, which I would spend on books. Yes, a quiet, respectable, scholarly life! I would be content, and, because I wouldn't be working, I wouldn't feel competitive or envious; only wise.

Overall, I think I want to justify a lifetime of unemployment.

That's all fine and good, but then you have people like Stephen J. Hawking, Mike Utley, Christopher Reeve, etc., who struggle for a lifetime overcoming their disabilities, becoming renowned for their inspirational efforts to beat the unfortunate odds.

Overachieving assholes make the rest of us look bad.

[h8kurdt]

Why cos they try and make an effort to do something with their life rather than complaing about it and not doing anything about it? Which is what the majority of people (myself included) do.

[truncated]

Yes, exactly that.