Open letters to celebrities

Glice · 08.02.2007, 04:18 PM

Ok, so it's quite apparent that loads of celebrities read this forum, as do lots of non-celebrities (Hi, my name's Glice or something etc). So let's have an open letters thread!

Dear Elton John

JUST FUCK OFF YOU CUNT.

Yours,

Glice.

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:20 PM

Dear Paris Hilton

Could you please take your sweaty clunge to the nearest nunnery, and never show your face (or clunge) to the public again.

Thank you, sweetcheeks.

Yours sincerely

Melly.

demonrail666 · 08.02.2007, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Dear Paris Hilton

Could you please take your sweaty clunge to the nearest nunnery,

Clunge? what the fuck is a clunge?

Pookie · 08.02.2007, 04:24 PM

He didn't want to use the real word in front of his son.

Glice · 08.02.2007, 04:26 PM

Dear Paris,

Ignore Melly, let's have some more decent tunes like star are blind.

Yours,

Glice.

PS - no more clunge though, thanks.

eatmychild · 08.02.2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonrail666

Clunge? what the fuck is a clunge?

You have 3 guesses. Each incorrect answer dissolves a bit of your pancreas. Go!

Glice · 08.02.2007, 04:29 PM

Dear Bono,

DIE

Cheers,

Glice.

demonrail666 · 08.02.2007, 04:31 PM

I have a good idea what it means, but don't know how it came to mean it.

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:36 PM

Dear God

I have a problem.

I look like Elton John, but don't have his money.

Sort it out, now.

Yours not believing in you but chancing his arm anyway

Melly

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookie

He didn't want to use the real word in front of his son.

He's a sensitive boy, and there's some things that are too rough for his ears. Mind you, y'know what he asked me the other day? "Oi Dad, can you tell me what "smoo juice" means"? Nearly had a heart attack, I did.

Pookie · 08.02.2007, 04:41 PM

As in: 'A cup of java, and nix on the moo juice'?

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM

i dont know what smoo juice is either.

schizophrenicroom · 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM

dear chloë sevigny,

let's be friends. you dress ridiculously sometimes and that makes me love you more.

love, jade

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM

Yeah, like that, but somewhat ruder.

Like your new avatar - I used to spend far too much time watching "Laverne and Shirley" when I should have been studying for my A-Levels.

Pookie · 08.02.2007, 04:48 PM

When it was on at about 9 in the morning every day?

Glice · 08.02.2007, 04:48 PM

Dear Kelly Osborne.

I love you, let's get married. Don't you be thinking about what the others say, our love is pure and true and they can't stop our wild lovin'.

Yours,

Glice.

Glice · 08.02.2007, 04:50 PM

Dear Lauren Laverne,

I love you, leave that Scottish bastard and join me in holy matrimony. I love you more, and am possibly more of a drunk.

Yours,

Glice.

PS - I secretly love you more than Kellly O. Don't tell her though.

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookie

When it was on at about 9 in the morning every day?

About half nine I think, just after breakfast TV. Can still remember the theme tune and intro. Sassy!

MellySingsDoom · 08.02.2007, 04:52 PM

Dear Jamiroquai

Could you please take your smelly pseudo-funky mysoginist arse out of the gene pool, preferably through a huge ingestion of Ex-Lax?

Yours impatiently

Melly

Pookie · 08.02.2007, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

About half nine I think, just after breakfast TV. Can still remember the theme tune and intro. Sassy!

I used to get up and have breakfast watching it. I must be older than you because I think I'd finished college and was trying to avoid getting a job.

08.02.2007, 04:20 PM	#2
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Dear Paris Hilton Could you please take your sweaty clunge to the nearest nunnery, and never show your face (or clunge) to the public again. Thank you, sweetcheeks. Yours sincerely Melly. __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:24 PM	#4
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	He didn't want to use the real word in front of his son.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:31 PM	#8
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,510	I have a good idea what it means, but don't know how it came to mean it.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:36 PM	#9
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Dear God I have a problem. I look like Elton John, but don't have his money. Sort it out, now. Yours not believing in you but chancing his arm anyway Melly __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:41 PM	#11
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	As in: 'A cup of java, and nix on the moo juice'?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:44 PM	#12
Sheriff Rhys Chatham invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England. Posts: 4,027	i dont know what smoo juice is either. __________________ My Music(grunge rock) A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
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08.02.2007, 04:44 PM	#13
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	dear chloë sevigny, let's be friends. you dress ridiculously sometimes and that makes me love you more. love, jade __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
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08.02.2007, 04:48 PM	#15
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	When it was on at about 9 in the morning every day?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

08.02.2007, 04:52 PM	#19
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Dear Jamiroquai Could you please take your smelly pseudo-funky mysoginist arse out of the gene pool, preferably through a huge ingestion of Ex-Lax? Yours impatiently Melly __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|