Why do I feel Like I hate colege?

SynthethicalY · 03.14.2007, 02:51 AM

I do, but I can't drop out because I see no other way to get out of this shithole I live in. I have been feeling shitty since two weeks ago. I am getting frustrated and I see no way out of this shitty thing I am in. I am starting to hate the values I once held closely, like caring for other people even if I do not know them, I just want to tell them get a fucking job or shut the fuck up and go and live your life without me. I hate elitist people more than anything, because they for once think they are better than I or the rest of the world. Frankly my dear you are a worthless piece of flesh, and you will die out like I will. And your last breath will be some vain attempt to salvage your soul, truth be told you are the last person to go to heaven. I want to cry, but I can't because BOYS DON'T CRY. I want to leave and never come back, and I think this is absurd because from what I know of my childhood I know I had a good life. And I truly love my family, and so forth. Well what it all comes down to is I want to live life, but I feel contrived to do what I am doing now.

Sorry for posting this, but need to vent out.

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 02:53 AM

sounds like meeting the real world, and it doesnt get any better from here . if you cant change your perspective in your current situation , why not work and save money and travel ? try to see many different perspectives by actually physically experiencing differerent parts of the world .

SynthethicalY · 03.14.2007, 02:58 AM

I am working, but I can't save because I am always overdrawn. And I can't travel, because i need to finish school first. And I think I am meeting the real world, and god-damn it I hate it.

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 03:03 AM

you will find yourself hearing that same thing you've said a million times . youve got to find a way to appreciate whats around you while youre in it , while not keeping too far off your discontent , using it to figure out a way to not be overdrawn (student loans ?? ) and sneak away some cash to run away . i try to do this all the time and im terrible at it . i try to get the shit-wheel rolling and accomplish a small thing...even if its to fuckign finish one damn school paper . when this happens, i get a slight bit motivated, and run with it . next thing you know im up all nigiht painting and doing things that give me satisfaction . but its hard to get out of a rut - a self-defeating attitude will perpetuate itself to no end .

SynthethicalY · 03.14.2007, 03:06 AM

I think I need to see a psychiatrist or something, because I've been feeling depressed since high school. I mean I was feeling happy for the last two months, I don't know what happened.

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 03:14 AM

two months is a drop in a bucket .

by saying that you think you need to see a psychiatrist, do you mean you think you would like to talk through your shit and figure out the roots to your problems ? psychiatrists are only involoved in their profession for one thing - perscribing drugs . thats all they do . if youre into that sort of thing , fine . but as for counsellors, sometimes they do help , but on the whole , you are the only person that has been there since the beginning and you are the only person that can truly help you .

SynthethicalY · 03.14.2007, 03:17 AM

Well I can only remember about 1/3 about my childhood. The other parts are sketchy. That's what I mean.

king_buzzo · 03.14.2007, 03:18 AM

because it hates you

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 03:20 AM

ah, right . i remember you mentioning this in another thread .
regardless, its a good thing your future is not dependant on your past .
why cant you move on ?

SynthethicalY · 03.14.2007, 03:26 AM

I have no idea, my boyfriend tells me the same thing. I dwell on shit for way too long. I don't know why I do this sort of shit.

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 03:43 AM

why do we hold onto anything ? the entire world of formed particles around you will exist to you as however you choose your perspective to be . believe me , i struggle with this all the time . i live on extremes - im either nauseatingly ecstatic or gloomy , and ive come to believe that this is the manifestation of the opposite of zen . when i exist in my daily life, that my mood and perspective can fluctuate so violently is merely the product of relying to harshly on the surfaces and appearances of particular situations . when i have a better grasp on my own emotions , when i have some control and focus , i find that my ability to reflect on a multitude of perspectives is balanced and im able to run into things screaming rather than be dragged into things against my will (by myself, of course )

jon boy · 03.14.2007, 04:28 AM

is it because you cant spell college?

alteredcourse · 03.14.2007, 04:35 AM

,
->
!

!@#$%! · 03.14.2007, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SynthethicalY

I think I need to see a psychiatrist or something, because I've been feeling depressed since high school. I mean I was feeling happy for the last two months, I don't know what happened.

a lotta colleges have free shrinks. some are full of shit, but i'm all for freebies.

demonrail666 · 03.14.2007, 09:35 AM

If you want to see a psych, then that's cool. But they have a tendency to make you think of yourself as a 'problem'. My advice would be to get through the last couple of months of college and see how you feel then.

Rob Instigator · 03.14.2007, 09:36 AM

enjoy the university time. you get to choose what you learn, when you learn it, what you do. what you are experiencing is NOTIONG compared to the malaise and horror you will ffeel when you enter the fully adult (meaning old people) working world. prepare for the shock of your life. i ecommend lots of smoke.

!@#$%! · 03.14.2007, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

enjoy the university time. you get to choose what you learn, when you learn it, what you do. what you are experiencing is NOTIONG compared to the malaise and horror you will ffeel when you enter the fully adult (meaning old people) working world. prepare for the shock of your life. i ecommend lots of smoke.

ha ha-- noo! noooo! weed will make you confused, you'll be late for appointments, misplace your papers, and ... er... what was i trying to say...?

anyway man college is tougher than highschool because you're expected to behave like an adult, meaning, you're on your own, and there's going to be a shock attached to that (unless you're like me, i LOOOOVED the university & was so glad to be done w/ fucking highschool i was completely euphoric for the first year).

about your childhood traumas etc. that's a separate story though it will impact the way you relate to the world. i suggest treatment, but if you can just wait for the summer because things tend to get worse before they get better.

i always recommend everyone going through this shit to watch the first 2 episodes of season 4 of buffy (buffy goes to college, see). or was it just the 1st one? yes just the 1st one. it's widely available on the interneck.

another thing you may be pheelin is lack of support etc and for that there are twatty groups of all sorts catering to all manner of special group, from the mexicaines to the lambdas to the d&d society ha ha no really.

sniff around & focus on doing good & don't worry about cutthroat ways-- look, the world is competitive, everybody wants to take away your lunch money, it's a given, learn to kick ass & don't worry about the other fucks-- some people have such a lack of talent for what they do that they compensate by becoming social manipulators-- sure they are a threat but you gotta learn to deal young man.

take a deep breath squeeze your nuts & jump in.

Rob Instigator · 03.14.2007, 11:27 AM

I too found university just so fucking freeing and wonderful. jr High andHigh school were the worst yhears of my life, and i too felt euphoric my first year at the University of Houston

terminal pharmacy · 03.14.2007, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alteredcourse

two months is a drop in a bucket .

by saying that you think you need to see a psychiatrist, do you mean you think you would like to talk through your shit and figure out the roots to your problems ? psychiatrists are only involoved in their profession for one thing - perscribing drugs . thats all they do . if youre into that sort of thing , fine . but as for counsellors, sometimes they do help , but on the whole , you are the only person that has been there since the beginning and you are the only person that can truly help you .

bullshit - maybe in an over drugged, over fed, over aggressive culture like the US, they aren't like that in Australia

tparker · 03.14.2007, 11:47 AM

College is a galactic waste of time. Of course, you have to actually graduate and then get a job to realize this.

03.14.2007, 02:51 AM	#1
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	I do, but I can't drop out because I see no other way to get out of this shithole I live in. I have been feeling shitty since two weeks ago. I am getting frustrated and I see no way out of this shitty thing I am in. I am starting to hate the values I once held closely, like caring for other people even if I do not know them, I just want to tell them get a fucking job or shut the fuck up and go and live your life without me. I hate elitist people more than anything, because they for once think they are better than I or the rest of the world. Frankly my dear you are a worthless piece of flesh, and you will die out like I will. And your last breath will be some vain attempt to salvage your soul, truth be told you are the last person to go to heaven. I want to cry, but I can't because BOYS DON'T CRY. I want to leave and never come back, and I think this is absurd because from what I know of my childhood I know I had a good life. And I truly love my family, and so forth. Well what it all comes down to is I want to live life, but I feel contrived to do what I am doing now. Sorry for posting this, but need to vent out.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 02:53 AM	#2
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	sounds like meeting the real world, and it doesnt get any better from here . if you cant change your perspective in your current situation , why not work and save money and travel ? try to see many different perspectives by actually physically experiencing differerent parts of the world .
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 02:58 AM	#3
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	I am working, but I can't save because I am always overdrawn. And I can't travel, because i need to finish school first. And I think I am meeting the real world, and god-damn it I hate it.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:03 AM	#4
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	you will find yourself hearing that same thing you've said a million times . youve got to find a way to appreciate whats around you while youre in it , while not keeping too far off your discontent , using it to figure out a way to not be overdrawn (student loans ?? ) and sneak away some cash to run away . i try to do this all the time and im terrible at it . i try to get the shit-wheel rolling and accomplish a small thing...even if its to fuckign finish one damn school paper . when this happens, i get a slight bit motivated, and run with it . next thing you know im up all nigiht painting and doing things that give me satisfaction . but its hard to get out of a rut - a self-defeating attitude will perpetuate itself to no end .
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:06 AM	#5
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	I think I need to see a psychiatrist or something, because I've been feeling depressed since high school. I mean I was feeling happy for the last two months, I don't know what happened.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:14 AM	#6
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	two months is a drop in a bucket . by saying that you think you need to see a psychiatrist, do you mean you think you would like to talk through your shit and figure out the roots to your problems ? psychiatrists are only involoved in their profession for one thing - perscribing drugs . thats all they do . if youre into that sort of thing , fine . but as for counsellors, sometimes they do help , but on the whole , you are the only person that has been there since the beginning and you are the only person that can truly help you .
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:17 AM	#7
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	Well I can only remember about 1/3 about my childhood. The other parts are sketchy. That's what I mean.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:18 AM	#8
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	because it hates you
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:20 AM	#9
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	ah, right . i remember you mentioning this in another thread . regardless, its a good thing your future is not dependant on your past . why cant you move on ?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:26 AM	#10
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	I have no idea, my boyfriend tells me the same thing. I dwell on shit for way too long. I don't know why I do this sort of shit.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 03:43 AM	#11
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	why do we hold onto anything ? the entire world of formed particles around you will exist to you as however you choose your perspective to be . believe me , i struggle with this all the time . i live on extremes - im either nauseatingly ecstatic or gloomy , and ive come to believe that this is the manifestation of the opposite of zen . when i exist in my daily life, that my mood and perspective can fluctuate so violently is merely the product of relying to harshly on the surfaces and appearances of particular situations . when i have a better grasp on my own emotions , when i have some control and focus , i find that my ability to reflect on a multitude of perspectives is balanced and im able to run into things screaming rather than be dragged into things against my will (by myself, of course )
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 04:28 AM	#12
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	is it because you cant spell college? __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
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03.14.2007, 04:35 AM	#13
alteredcourse expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,503	, -> !
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 09:35 AM	#15
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,510	If you want to see a psych, then that's cool. But they have a tendency to make you think of yourself as a 'problem'. My advice would be to get through the last couple of months of college and see how you feel then.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 09:36 AM	#16
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,975	enjoy the university time. you get to choose what you learn, when you learn it, what you do. what you are experiencing is NOTIONG compared to the malaise and horror you will ffeel when you enter the fully adult (meaning old people) working world. prepare for the shock of your life. i ecommend lots of smoke. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 11:27 AM	#18
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,975	I too found university just so fucking freeing and wonderful. jr High andHigh school were the worst yhears of my life, and i too felt euphoric my first year at the University of Houston __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.14.2007, 11:47 AM	#20
tparker empty page Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 12	College is a galactic waste of time. Of course, you have to actually graduate and then get a job to realize this.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|