Dumbest thing you've ever heard said in public

LittlePuppetBoy · 03.29.2007, 11:03 AM

a few rules:

1. It has to be something YOU heard. Not something someone told you about.
2. It can't be something that was said by email of on a message board
3. It cannot be something that YOU said.

sonicl · 03.29.2007, 11:15 AM

Something or other about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but the guy carried on like it was true anyway.

SynthethicalY · 03.29.2007, 11:18 AM

I heard a guy say to one of his friends, while looking at speakers in a very valley guy voice.Dude these speakers are like the shit. I started laughing my ass off. Poor, poor guy.

king_buzzo · 03.29.2007, 11:35 AM

Superman is on a beach, he looks around and sees a naked lady. He thinks to himself 'Hmm, If I fuck her at the speed of light, she wont notice' He quickly does it, And then after, Invisible Man says 'My butt hurts.'

Danny Himself · 03.29.2007, 11:43 AM

Being from Liverpool, I hear many ridiculous sentences. I usually only catch fragments of conversation, but by themselves they are much more perfect.

Random guy: "A'Know, lad, we was out wiv' Jevvo and dis fella got merked. He had a muzzy".

Other random guy: "Shit, la', this origami is fuckin' mad"

I have no idea what being 'merked' is, so don't ask me.

jennthebenn · 03.29.2007, 11:46 AM

SECURITY: "Give me the film out of that camera."
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."
SECURITY: "I don't care, gimme the film."
Young guy hands over the snap-box.
SECURITY: "Where's the film?"
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."

king_buzzo · 03.29.2007, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

SECURITY: "Give me the film out of that camera."
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."
SECURITY: "I don't care, gimme the film."
Young guy hands over the snap-box.
SECURITY: "Where's the film?"
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."

Funny

Trasher02 · 03.29.2007, 11:57 AM

A friend: What's a condom?

!@#$%! · 03.29.2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonicl

Something or other about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but the guy carried on like it was true anyway.

need i say more? need i??

i heard the same thing

stupidest shit ever!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

SECURITY: "Give me the film out of that camera."
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."
SECURITY: "I don't care, gimme the film."
Young guy hands over the snap-box.
SECURITY: "Where's the film?"
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."

ha ha! ha ha ha ha!

oh, priceless.

king_buzzo · 03.29.2007, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trasher02

A friend: What's a condom?

This one is better

Friend: I anus a dick?

Me: Slap.

Inhuman · 03.29.2007, 12:18 PM

"You're an idiot"

Being that it was directed at me, I find it a very unintelligent statement.

chrismc · 03.29.2007, 12:42 PM

"I think gay adoption is horrible. Think how much the kid will be bullied"

Most reactionary sentence ever.

Rob Instigator · 03.29.2007, 12:48 PM

working at Specs liquor store

a man comes in, seemingly in a hurry, and asks me "where are the martinis?"
flustered, I say, "sir, all you need is some vermouth and some vodka or gin, and you can add olives or an onion or any garnish you like."

he looks at me, "no, that's not right. I need a bottle of martinis. The way you say it is just straight vodka."
"Sir, that is how you make martinis." I reply trying not to laugh
"That's not a martini." he says before leaving.

lucyrulesok · 03.29.2007, 12:56 PM

a friend of mine once said to me "how come third world countries get free condoms and we don't?"

jon boy · 03.29.2007, 01:24 PM

i heard someone say that they thought all the taxi drivers in leeds are members of the taliban.

this reminds me of the all ears section of the guardian guide.

A Thousand Threads · 03.29.2007, 01:37 PM

Some guy standing to the left of me at a Black Dice gig:
"Haha, man, that´s the worst band i´ve ever seen! They don´t even know how to plug in their speakers, everthing´s just BLEEEP"

some other guy in a pub:
"You students are all anti-social bums, you´re neither supporting our economy nor our country. 60 Years ago you would have ended in concentration camp."

Gulasch Noir · 03.29.2007, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Thousand Threads

some other guy in a pub:
"You students are all anti-social bums, you´re neither supporting our economy nor our country. 60 Years ago you would have ended in concentration camp."

Wow

Tokolosh · 03.29.2007, 02:28 PM

They must be dealing coke, because they're black???
Tigers come from Africa, you know???
All gays eventually die from aids???
Bush believes in freedom???
Men are superior to women in all ways???
We all come from monkeys???
Meat is murder???
etc...etc...

jon boy · 03.29.2007, 03:01 PM

gays have only been around since the 50's

SynthethicalY · 03.29.2007, 03:09 PM

An American saying "I am Irish."

03.29.2007, 11:03 AM	#1
LittlePuppetBoy expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Aylmer(now Gatineau), Quebec Posts: 1,756	a few rules: 1. It has to be something YOU heard. Not something someone told you about. 2. It can't be something that was said by email of on a message board 3. It cannot be something that YOU said. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:15 AM	#2
sonicl invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 9,527	Something or other about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but the guy carried on like it was true anyway.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:18 AM	#3
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	I heard a guy say to one of his friends, while looking at speakers in a very valley guy voice.Dude these speakers are like the shit. I started laughing my ass off. Poor, poor guy.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:35 AM	#4
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	Superman is on a beach, he looks around and sees a naked lady. He thinks to himself 'Hmm, If I fuck her at the speed of light, she wont notice' He quickly does it, And then after, Invisible Man says 'My butt hurts.'
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:43 AM	#5
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	Being from Liverpool, I hear many ridiculous sentences. I usually only catch fragments of conversation, but by themselves they are much more perfect. Random guy: "A'Know, lad, we was out wiv' Jevvo and dis fella got merked. He had a muzzy". Other random guy: "Shit, la', this origami is fuckin' mad" I have no idea what being 'merked' is, so don't ask me.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:46 AM	#6
jennthebenn expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,261	SECURITY: "Give me the film out of that camera." YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera." SECURITY: "I don't care, gimme the film." Young guy hands over the snap-box. SECURITY: "Where's the film?" YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera." __________________ http://jennthebenn.tumblr.com/
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 11:57 AM	#8
Trasher02 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 6,356	A friend: What's a condom? __________________ 666
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 12:18 PM	#11
Inhuman invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,807	"You're an idiot" Being that it was directed at me, I find it a very unintelligent statement. __________________ Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 12:42 PM	#12
chrismc empty page Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Wirralz, GB Posts: 21	"I think gay adoption is horrible. Think how much the kid will be bullied" Most reactionary sentence ever.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 12:48 PM	#13
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,991	working at Specs liquor store a man comes in, seemingly in a hurry, and asks me "where are the martinis?" flustered, I say, "sir, all you need is some vermouth and some vodka or gin, and you can add olives or an onion or any garnish you like." he looks at me, "no, that's not right. I need a bottle of martinis. The way you say it is just straight vodka." "Sir, that is how you make martinis." I reply trying not to laugh "That's not a martini." he says before leaving. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 12:56 PM	#14
lucyrulesok 100% Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 770	a friend of mine once said to me "how come third world countries get free condoms and we don't?" __________________ I think if kissing someone could make them pregnant the last person I kissed would have had their kid by now...
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 01:24 PM	#15
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	i heard someone say that they thought all the taxi drivers in leeds are members of the taliban. this reminds me of the all ears section of the guardian guide. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 01:37 PM	#16
A Thousand Threads expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,000	Some guy standing to the left of me at a Black Dice gig: "Haha, man, that´s the worst band i´ve ever seen! They don´t even know how to plug in their speakers, everthing´s just BLEEEP" some other guy in a pub: "You students are all anti-social bums, you´re neither supporting our economy nor our country. 60 Years ago you would have ended in concentration camp."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 02:28 PM	#18
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	They must be dealing coke, because they're black??? Tigers come from Africa, you know??? All gays eventually die from aids??? Bush believes in freedom??? Men are superior to women in all ways??? We all come from monkeys??? Meat is murder??? etc...etc...
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 03:01 PM	#19
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	gays have only been around since the 50's __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

03.29.2007, 03:09 PM	#20
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	An American saying "I am Irish."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|