Tell a joke

ZEROpumpkins · 09.06.2007, 03:31 AM

And post it in this thread.

cryptowonderdruginvogue · 09.06.2007, 03:46 AM

h8kurdt · 09.06.2007, 04:25 AM

Guy walks into his house with a duck in his arm and then walks up to his wife and says "This is the pig i've been fucking". The wife replies "That's a duck, not a pig" to which he replies "I WAS TALKING TO THE DUCK NOT YOU!"

pbradley · 09.06.2007, 04:33 AM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_bESBs3Lg7M

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dJcebIEOkhY

ALIEN ANAL · 09.06.2007, 06:57 AM

why where the bakers hands brown?

because he kneeded a poo

09.06.2007, 12:15 PM

Ex-Husband
This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

king_buzzo · 09.06.2007, 01:01 PM

2 baloons fly the desert freely. one says:
watch out, a cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
while the other one says:
no shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt

Inhuman · 09.06.2007, 01:37 PM

haha, king buzzo wins.I don't know if I've posted this yet, but:

Q: HOW MANY FREUDIANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to screw his mother

ZEROpumpkins · 09.06.2007, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman

haha, king buzzo wins.I don't know if I've posted this yet, but:

Q: HOW MANY FREUDIANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to screw his mother

I like this one.

Sorry buzzo, I don't really get yours.

val-holla-ing · 09.06.2007, 06:26 PM

quick! somebody ask me if i'm a truck.

Danny Himself · 09.06.2007, 06:39 PM

Are you a truck?

pbradley · 09.06.2007, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by val-holla-ing

quick! somebody ask me if i'm a truck.

Everyneurotic · 09.06.2007, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by val-holla-ing

quick! somebody ask me if i'm a truck.

"that's my joke!!!! i'll kill you!!!!!"

Toilet & Bowels · 09.06.2007, 06:46 PM

Q: what's the best thing about having sex with twenty seven year olds?
A: there's twenty of them!

Disgruntled Youth · 09.06.2007, 06:48 PM

How can you tell if a redneck is on her period?

She's wearing one sock.

Everyneurotic · 09.06.2007, 06:57 PM

bush, putin and sarkozy are sitting midflight in air force one, talking about special agencies and how they control situations, etc. until an argument about loyalty erupts, each of them say their secret service is more loyal than the others.

finally, putin stands up and says he'll prove his point, he opens the hatch of the plane and jumps out, no parachute or anything, he yells for the russian secret service people, they run, put on a parachute, jump off the plane and catch putin mid-fall, saving him.

then sarkozy stands up and does the same, calls the french secret service and jumps off the plane, without a parachute or anything; the french secret service burst in the room, comb the room for bombs in 2 seconds, put on a parachute, jump and catch sarkozy mid-fall saving him faster than the russian secret service did.

bush then stands up, goes to the hatch, jumps and seconds after jumping yells for the u.s. secret service to save him. a u.s. secret agent opens the door of the room and yells "make me"

youthoftomorrow · 09.07.2007, 02:01 AM

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

one's fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other's a watermelon.

king_buzzo · 09.07.2007, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by youthoftomorrow

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

one's fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other's a watermelon.

haha

Crumb's Crunchy Delights · 09.07.2007, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nefeli

you ask someone=
do you want me to do you a magick trick?
she/he HAS to say= yes.
you reply=
i ll have sex with you (you can be more vuglar) and then i ll dissappear.

Hey! That's my chat up line for real. Girls don't laugh though, they normally just look a bit scared.

evollove · 09.07.2007, 06:14 AM

So this dude's playing piano in a cocktail lounge and his delightfully dressed-up monkey is going around the tables collecting tips. The monkey lands on a man's table, and the furry testicles land in the man's drink. Furious, he goes to the piano player.
"Do you know your monkey's balls are in my drink?"
"No, but maybe if you hum a few bars I can pick it up."

09.06.2007, 03:31 AM	#1
ZEROpumpkins invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 6,157	And post it in this thread. __________________
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09.06.2007, 03:46 AM	#2
cryptowonderdruginvogue invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: the party Posts: 10,281
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09.06.2007, 04:25 AM	#3
h8kurdt invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Mulder's Basement room Posts: 5,459	Guy walks into his house with a duck in his arm and then walks up to his wife and says "This is the pig i've been fucking". The wife replies "That's a duck, not a pig" to which he replies "I WAS TALKING TO THE DUCK NOT YOU!" __________________ Down with this sort of thing.
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09.06.2007, 04:33 AM	#4
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	http://youtube.com/watch?v=_bESBs3Lg7M http://youtube.com/watch?v=dJcebIEOkhY
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09.06.2007, 06:57 AM	#5
ALIEN ANAL invito al cielo Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 5,461	why where the bakers hands brown? because he kneeded a poo __________________ www.instagram.com/alienanal
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09.06.2007, 12:15 PM	#6
moonmoon Posts: n/a	Ex-Husband This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.06.2007, 01:01 PM	#7
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	2 baloons fly the desert freely. one says: watch out, a cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss while the other one says: no shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.06.2007, 01:37 PM	#8
Inhuman invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,807	haha, king buzzo wins.I don't know if I've posted this yet, but: Q: HOW MANY FREUDIANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to screw his mother __________________ Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien
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09.06.2007, 06:26 PM	#10
val-holla-ing invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: baton rouge. the 225, big raggedy. Posts: 2,731	quick! somebody ask me if i'm a truck. __________________ please do not misconstrue the previous statement as an invitation for same sex relations or as negative towards anyone of another sexuality. -cam'ron (formerly "no homo")
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09.06.2007, 06:39 PM	#11
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	Are you a truck?
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09.06.2007, 06:46 PM	#14
Toilet & Bowels invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Northern Europe Posts: 12,282	Q: what's the best thing about having sex with twenty seven year olds? A: there's twenty of them!
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09.06.2007, 06:48 PM	#15
Disgruntled Youth the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I'm sitting right beside you Posts: 839	How can you tell if a redneck is on her period? She's wearing one sock. __________________ Duppy know a who fi Frighten "Drink Guinness & live, Hate Guinness & die" Lee "Scratch" Perry
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09.06.2007, 06:57 PM	#16
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	bush, putin and sarkozy are sitting midflight in air force one, talking about special agencies and how they control situations, etc. until an argument about loyalty erupts, each of them say their secret service is more loyal than the others. finally, putin stands up and says he'll prove his point, he opens the hatch of the plane and jumps out, no parachute or anything, he yells for the russian secret service people, they run, put on a parachute, jump off the plane and catch putin mid-fall, saving him. then sarkozy stands up and does the same, calls the french secret service and jumps off the plane, without a parachute or anything; the french secret service burst in the room, comb the room for bombs in 2 seconds, put on a parachute, jump and catch sarkozy mid-fall saving him faster than the russian secret service did. bush then stands up, goes to the hatch, jumps and seconds after jumping yells for the u.s. secret service to save him. a u.s. secret agent opens the door of the room and yells "make me" __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
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09.07.2007, 02:01 AM	#17
youthoftomorrow expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Idaho. Posts: 1,418	what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one's fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other's a watermelon. __________________ avalanche.
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09.07.2007, 06:14 AM	#20
evollove invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,879	So this dude's playing piano in a cocktail lounge and his delightfully dressed-up monkey is going around the tables collecting tips. The monkey lands on a man's table, and the furry testicles land in the man's drink. Furious, he goes to the piano player. "Do you know your monkey's balls are in my drink?" "No, but maybe if you hum a few bars I can pick it up."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|