[Rupert 'Stiles' Stilinski]

Do you consider yourself a more laid back kind of person or a more uptight kind of person?

This has been bothering me a lot lately, as people have started calling me uptight; I always thought of myself as really laid back.

I guess I considered myself laid back because I'm not afraid of much, don't get angry often, am relatively quiet (unless I've been drinking heavily), and am well-mannered.

But, I can sort of see their points. I'm often horribly passive aggressive and take things people say and do way too personally. I also often get sulky if people change plans I make; I don't like being insulted, compared to, and worry that I'm being talked about behind my back.

As a teacher, my biggest mistakes in the relationships I've had with my students have been because I sometimes get uptight. There have been many times when I interpret student behavior to be disrespectful and respond as a disciplinarian or passive aggressively (if the students try to play on my emotions). This tends to be observed as a "betrayal" because the students that once considered me their "cool teacher" has joined the dark side. It's all horribly frustrating, as it's tough to keep your emotions under wraps when dealing with difficult teenagers.

In relationships with women, I usually am laid back--unless I really like the girl. Then I obsess over every little thing and come off as a wanker. I think this is very typical for most guys. I really really work hard to try to control the way I'm perceived by women in the early stages. Sounds weird, but it's better than some of the goofy mistakes I made when I first started dating.

I want to be more laid back, as I find the people I like best are laid back. I feel like addressing it in my mind has helped, but I wonder if there's anything else I can do to be more cool/stoic/disengaged from my petty emotional responses to nonsense.

Anyone else relate to any of this?

[floatingslowly]

I'm too easy going and too often forgive transgressions until I'm long past the point of reconciliation.

I could do with being more uptight, but it's very unlikely that I'll ever change.

[Derek]

I'm uptight but put up a front of being laid back.

[pantophobia]

laid back most of the time, depends on how busy i am

when i met you rupert, i certainly got the impression of you being very laid back

[Savage Clone]

I used to want to think of myself as laid back, but I think the thruth is that I am pretty uptight about a lot of things.

[LifeDistortion]

Hey Stiles. Someone recently called me "passive aggressive" recently too. My first instinct was to get upset and defend myself. "No I'm not", but after all was said and done I gave what they said some thought. Hell I even looked up the term, because it gets thrown around a lot. Turns out, the person had a point. I guess I do have a passive aggressive personality. A lot of times I go from being really submissive in my attitude and just agree with what someone says if its negative towards me, and other times I get really angry and volatile. Its like having a dual personality in some ways. In one situation you may just quietly dismiss yourself from the situation, hurt and upset but not in the mood to express your feelings. Then in another you might get argumentative. Its almost like having some kind of split ro dual personality that seems to always be at war with itself. Always trying to figure out how to react to things that upset you.

[EVOLghost]

Yeah.....I think I can uptight about certain things....but for the most part. I'm a laid back person. So I think........

[SonicBebs]

i'm getting alot more openly uptight as i get older.

people used to tell me i was laid back, but i think it was more a way for me to avoid dealing with things and people

[Bertrand]

Pretty much uptight at work, though I tend to be extremely laid back with some people when I sense humour and all I try to do is trying to stop laughing.
Seems to me that these people are eyed as professionals, as they're directors, and others tend to act professionnally with them.
A humourless person or a wanker gets me on my nerves most of the times when I work.

Off work, am I laid back?

Nope when I see people tossing whatever they have in hand to the floor, even inches away from a can.

But I can be extremely laid back with friends when there's confidence. I then use words the dictionary hasn't heard of. For I speak first, think later. And don't care.

By myself, I'd say I'm laid back; I ain't too demanding about using a broom. But that could be lazyness.

I'm not ageing well. It was hard for me to say no, I tend to say no now with too much strength.

[the ikara cult]

Im uptight but permissive

[alteredcourse]

You guys have described aspects that are both laid back and uptight. You will be seen as either depending on who is seeing you, based on their receptivity of those kinds of traits...

I doubt anyone wants to be "seen as" uptight. Most want to be included in things. I'm quite sensitive and have found myself behaving or projecting myself in ways to protect that sensivity, such as so they dont test it, etc. Mostly I figure I am "seen as" mostly laid back but prone to anxiety and anger at most inopportune moments, to anyone who would bother observing my patterns. Sounds like a pretty normal person.

Dont worry about being inconsistent in personality. Despite consistency being the one thing people wish about others, we seem to be the least so. If anything, just take note of those moments when you are most uncomfortable about how you are behaving and examine them honestly, asking questions, why it made you uncomfortable, what youre willing to accept about it, how much of it is in how important it is to you to be judged on it, etc etc. Oftentimes that friction we feel when interacting with others is just internal stuff that has NOTHING to do with the other person popping up and demanding attention. It depends on you how to react to it, which is possible if you can slow it all down...

Or, just stop giving a fuck entirely for a day and see how it goes

[floatingslowly]

it's because this forum is more uptight than Genteel Death's thong panties.

[Glice]

I think the best measure of interactions is how late they are, and how late you need to be to piss them off. I tend to operate on a ±30m basis - after that and they're a slacker, and the earlier end of it and I expect them to check their arse with a bent mirror after every shit.

[stu666]

aslong as i have plenty of smoke i'm very laid back, when i run out of smoke i get very uptight.

[Genteel Death]

my nickname is pippi longstocking.
come out to play.

[floatingslowly]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLvpz...e_gdata_player

[Genteel Death]

a rare moment of genuine weirdness on this forum. that's one of my favourite tv shows ever, and particularly that scene. a friend of mine loves it so much he behaves in a worse manner than the main character.

[floatingslowly]

Chris Lilley is a genius.

[Genteel Death]

I'm very shy, if you hadn't noticed already.

[jon boy]

it really depends on the situation but i probably am pretty uptight when it comes to most things. there are certain situations that i am very relaxed in but all too often i get annoyed by stuff.