[Satan]

Originally Posted by gmku

wow, typical pothead reaction, getting all defensive and irritable.

shut up, we all know you smoke weed

[girlgun]

that wasn't because we were drunk. that was because we're mean. i purposefully tried to knock her down. it worked. i just didn't realize she's mean enough to take me down with her.

[girlgun]

okay... i was drunk enough not to remember she'd take me down too.

[floatingslowly]

^^^ edit: disregard the following..

Originally Posted by girlgun

i just didn't realize she's mean enough to take me down with her.

THAT is a bold-faced lie!!!! you knew damn well that she's "mean enough".

[gmku]

Originally Posted by Satan

shut up, we all know you smoke weed

Yah, but I don't inhale.

[Satan]

Originally Posted by gmku

Yah, but I don't inhale.

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

THAT is a bold-faced lie!!!!

...

[girlgun]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

^^^ edit: disregard the following..


THAT is a bold-faced lie!!!! you knew damn well that she's "mean enough".

haha yeah. that's why i love her though.

like this:

some random dude comes up to me and sits next to me at the bar...

him: can i bum a cigarette? some girl just yelled at me and told me to go away when i asked her for a cigarette.

me: did she happen to be asian? (giggle.. assuming it was our other highly hostile friend)

him: noooo that girl was nice. it was the girl next to her.

me: (cackle) oh that's my bff.

i knew it was one of the two....

[alteredcourse]

Originally Posted by ni'k

I think that the idea of "oh i'm going to die anyway, so I might aswell use that as an excuse to drink, because then i can feel some sort of power because it's as if i'm killing myself and thus it's less frightening" is foolish.

Whenever I have been going through the hell of trying to avoid smoking or drinking or something I often justified giving in with the line of reasoning zizek pitches about life dragging on as an anemic spectacle of itself because by trying to prolong itself it ends up denying the very pleasures that make life worth living such as bad food casual sex drugs drink etc.

But I think this is horrible reasoning, as if there can be no better pleasures than these, as if dullening the senses in this way is somehow desirable out of an urge to "live" more. All my creative energies used to go towards trying not to smoke/drink or trying to come up with ways to do it and avoid the guilt.

This idea about escaping brain function - you don't escape brain function through drinking, you merely alter it by introducing alcohol into the blood/brain. You are playing with your caveman dopamine apparatus. The brains of severe addicts actually look physically different from normal (whatever that is) brains. The whole cliche about beer goggles, the idea of alcohol making an ugly woman attractive - the same can be applied to an ugly life. These things can make us tell ourselves and be able to believe in dreams and bullshit that will never happen because our addictions are slowly using us up and making our horizons smaller and smaller, until getting out of bed, getting the shit, and doing it becomes the only real priority or possibility. you end up sitting on the same couch and walking the same trek to the shop/dealers house everyday just so you can live in a fantasy world where you can almost convince yourself it isn't happening.

I don't think booze does anything other than dull/destroy the brain eventually. I think of the high you get as a dulling, it's like turning up the resolution on your monitor to make the picture quality better but you're watching a shitty movie. Or like listening to a mediocre album on an amazing soundsystem so you're fooled into thinking it's better.

But I am not trying to judge anyone, I am merely putting out information. I have been through a lot with addiction, now i feel the greatest hope in times like this, when i'm sober and less frightened i will end up back on something. I look forward to the good health and clearer mind that I will start to feel after months/years of sobriety. I feel like i'm bingeing on sobreity and it's like a reverse hit that never ends and gives you amazing sensations and improves your life. my problems arise from a horrible sense of the inevitability of pessimism and that i will end up back on something, that's my fight.

Remember Burroughs words "what can be done with drugs can be done by other means"

I couldnt add more. This is exactly it. Theres a balance between wishing to live a healthy life, and wanting to just rip it up and enjoy it in the meantime. I have been trying to ask myself things like "what exactly would you do with yourself that you're not now, if you were healthier? How healthy do i have to be before i think i'll know how to answer this question?"
There has just been too many points in time for me where I've thought "Ok...so I've been living this way all this time, and I'm not satisfied. It must not be working."

[gmku]

I think it helps to be a healthy drinker. I think if you're in good health and are physically fit, get regular exercise, have a good diet, and so, drinking is just fine, especially if it's not to excess.

That's what I think anyway.

For the record, went to Jack of the Wood last evening by myself after work and had a pleasant time sitting at the bar and having a sandwich, fries, and three beers. It's a brew pub and theirs and other local on-tap brews were only 2.50 a draw. My total bill came to 11 bucks before tip! Nice place.

Even chatted a little with the barkeep.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

Originally Posted by gmku

Or does it just mean you don't know anybody you like to drink with?

My social life is so pathetic that if I only drank socially, I'd drink about only once every 3 months.

I have a glass or two of wine with dinner quite frequently, and sometimes I relax on afternoons off with a couple of pints.

What's your opinion?

this reminded me of you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wdmSL2-Ock

[Anngella]

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

this reminded me of you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wdmSL2-Ock

I love when he takes his shirt off.

[gmku]

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

this reminded me of you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wdmSL2-Ock

Yeah, wow, the resemblance to me is uncanny! Wow. Amazing.

Dumbfuck.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

Chill out, gramps

[gmku]

OK, all is forgiven. But take my image off your signature block, por favor.

[finding nobody]

I just don't like drinking enough a to do it alone. Now, not knowing anybody who drinks in a completely other thing.