[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by ALIEN ANAL

i need some advice, but im not to sure on what advice im actually after

me and my girlfriend are having sex troubles
i think she is too shy, we have only just recently started using our hands on one another but..its just so quiet and theres no talking or communication going on..with my last girlfriend we were wild and it was full on..but it just doesnt seem to be happening with this one.

either split or teach her how it's done, but exposing her on the internet is tres uncool, especially if she finds out you've been discussing her lack of skill with total strangers who might actually be able to spot you in a crowd.

anyway, the rewards of popping a psychological cherry with skill and kindness are so astronomical and great, one wonders if it's actually not your fault.

(points finger)

ha ha no, no guilt trips. i was joking. but man. corrupt her with deliciousness.

[✌➬]

Who needs people who speaking during sex? Just get the fucking done, and move on.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by ✌➬

Who needs people who speaking during sex? Just get the fucking done, and move on.

n00b

[✌➬]

I doubt, that. I have been fucking since age 13.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by ✌➬

I doubt, that. I have been fucking since age 13.

eating macdonalds since infancy doesn't make you a great cook

[✌➬]

Trust me I know a few things. But this is not about me it is about Anal.

[_slavo_]

"Oh, the hillarity." - Haydenasche

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by ALIEN ANAL

i need some advice, but im not to sure on what advice im actually after

me and my girlfriend are having sex troubles
i think she is too shy, we have only just recently started using our hands on one another but..its just so quiet and theres no talking or communication going on..with my last girlfriend we were wild and it was full on..but it just doesnt seem to be happening with this one.

just slap her around a few times with yr giant american penis.

oh...

yr australian.

that poses a problem.

I'm eating cheese-coated cashew nuts. So tasty.

[✌➬]

You Europeans and your weird delicacies.

[floatingslowly]

I don't glitter like the stars, above.

I don't glow like neon, alone.

don't blush, it's just the wind outside.

don't rush, to be by my side.




I <3 you golden blue.

[amerikangod]

I'm too drunk to quote posts or do researh or read follow-up posts, but Alien Anal, how old are you that you're dating chicks where 'using hands on each other' is a step in your sexual relations versus just some shit that happens before you bone on the first date?

[amerikangod]

AH FUCK, that was posted in 2007, now I feel so fucking stupid. God is this what happens when you drink?????? It's gonna be the straight and narrow path for me.

Or gay and girthy if floatingslowly will still have me after this massive faux-pas.

[floatingslowly]

I'm sorry. I'm a necrophiliac.

[amerikangod]

brb gonna go do a suicide so i can realize all of my wildest dreamz

OMG now I know where the name Dream Theater comes from!!!1

[floatingslowly]

you people disgust me.

and by you people, I mean, syg/Amerikkka.

the quality of board activity decreases sharply in the evenings.

well, maybe not quality, but quantity for sure.

is this because Amerikkka is fickle and the "last new album" was "forever ago" or is this because yr all cunts? I wish you could be cunts.

swa(y) was a cunt and he knew how to post. is that what happened? swa(y)gate?

fucking tell me now.

Originally Posted by sonicl

Hey, floatingslowlybydowntheriveronasundayafternoon, I think you should know that I walked in on your missus with jon boy yesterday, and they sure as hell weren't baking bath buns.

the above goes for people living in canada too.

as well as mexico. where is my favorite mexican? lurking? wtf? do you need a birthday thread, princess????

and by princess, I mean, everyneurotic.

[ni'k]

guh?

i like what you are saying about the last new album forever ago, if i am interpreting it right.

[Crumb's Crunchy Delights]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

you people disgust me.

your welcome

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

and by you people, I mean, syg/Amerikkka.

The earliest known usage of “Amerikkka” recorded in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is in 1970, in a journal called Black World. Presumably, this was an extrapolation from the then already widespread “Amerika.”

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

the quality of board activity decreases sharply in the evenings.

grits

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

well, maybe not quality, but quantity for sure.

for sure. i too sit here typing figure poised masturbating wildly whilst waiting for post good enough to make me stop. and frankly im cummming more than im typing for sure

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

is this because Amerikkka is fickle and the "last new album" was "forever ago" or is this because yr all cunts? I wish you could be cunts.

refer to my post in the "savage cunts" thread

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

swa(y) was a cunt and he knew how to post. is that what happened? swa(y)gate?

fucking tell me now.

wheres girlgun these days?

[ni'k]

girlgun is around i think, but doesnt post much.

i think, i might be confusing her with someone else

[floatingslowly]

hah at the moment girlgun is sitting right behind me.

I just quoted that because it was on the first page (and I laughed, because jon boy is such a cunt...if she wants him she can have him)!

and yes, americans tend to be fickle. mass influx>burnout>goodbye

this time-slot dies.