[Cantankerous]

dear pookie,
my toenails are currently swimming pool blue. what color should i paint them next?

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Sorry to interrupt Pookie...
But, Cantanky MY fucking toes are swimming pool blueish green right now... I'm scared.

how odd.

WONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by jon boy

dear pookie,

married women say they love me but dont do anything about it. how can i cope with this terrible burdon?

russel crowe, here there and everywhere.

I'm sorry, but if the quality of these questions doesn't improve, I'm going to have to start being selective about the ones I answer.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Dear Pookie,


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?


Sincerely,
Bary Khan aka Richard Pryor On Fire's
EX Psycho Girlfriend

Have you ever thought about a career in comedy?

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

dear pookie,
my toenails are currently swimming pool blue. what color should i paint them next?

Please give me the following information so that I can give you an accurate assessment:

What colours predominate in your wardrobe?
Do you prefer bright colours or soft/muted colours?
What colour are your eyes?

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Sorry to interrupt Pookie...
But, Cantanky MY fucking toes are swimming pool blueish green right now... I'm scared.

Answer the same questions as Cantanky for an assessment.

[sonicl]

Dear Pookie,

What sort of bread do ducks prefer to be fed? Ciabatta or brioche?

For personal reasons I would prefer not to divulge my identity, but I hope this will not affect your willingness to answer my question.



EDIT - Too late. Someone just fed them some cheap white bread from Tesco, and they now look rather poorly.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by sonicl

Dear Pookie,

What sort of bread do ducks prefer to be fed? Ciabatta or brioche?

For personal reasons I would prefer not to divulge my identity, but I hope this will not affect your willingness to answer my question.



EDIT - Too late. Someone just fed them some cheap white bread from Tesco, and they now look rather poorly.

Well tell this "someone" that they shouldn't do it again.

Brioche is best, because of the lovely buttery taste which ducks thrive on. However, they often make the mistake of dunking for too long and this results in the brioche breaking up and sinking to the bottom of the pond.

Ciabatta has the exact opposite problem. Too little soaking and the bread becomes a choking hazard. The solution is to either lightly butter the ciabatta beforehand, or throw it directly into the pond, some distance away from the ducks. That way, by the time they reach it, it will have taken on a sufficient quantity of water.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by cocky

Dear Pookie,

It's time to make a trip to Sainsbury's again, and i'm never too keen on that. I've noticed that it's been a while since bags for life have changed colour from ornage to blue.Do you think that this is a sign that Sainsbury's are struggling under the mighty force that is Tesco and the change of colour for their bags for life is the first in a series of changes that they'll bring into the company?

Ah indeed, the rise of the supermarkets! Yes, others are in fear and under pressure from the seemingly unstoppable rise of Tesco. I think regulations should be put in place. Just for starters:

1) Supermarkets are too big, so they should be forced to sell off part of their businesses.
2) They are taking over from pharmacies, legal services etc., so licensing should be introduced.
3) There should be a lower cap on market share to prevent supermarkets from merging and buying other businesses.
4) They have too much control of the supply chain, and so should be forced to sell off their wholesale divisions.
5) Supermarkets buy land which remains unused in order to block competitors. They should be forced to sell this land.
6) Ban below-cost selling and price flexing to enable local businesses to compete with them.

Originally Posted by cocky

By the way, did you watch that program on tv about Barclays the other night

No

Originally Posted by cocky

Isn't that outrageous?

Yes

[sonicl]

Dear Pookie,

Should I part my hair in the middle, on the left, or on the right?

Thanking you in advance for your assistance,
Bobby "Bobby" Charlton

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

Dear Pookie,

Should i have sushi for lunch, today? It is not the best that you can find but it seems more appealing than the rest that's on offer.


Kirk 'Double Whammy' Megalopolis

If I ever can't make up my mind, I combine foods. Today I'll be having sushi pizza.

Try it.

Originally Posted by bobby

Dear Pookie,

Should I part my hair in the middle, on the left, or on the right?

Thanking you in advance for your assistance,
Bobby "Bobby" Charlton

It's a windy day today, so all three.

[Toilet & Bowels]

i took a blood test yesterday to find out if i'm anaemic what will the result be?

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

i took a blood test yesterday to find out if i'm anaemic what will the result be?

An old saying my gran used to say frequently:

An iron deficiency, a lack of dietary proficiency,
If you want some relief, eat plenty of beef.

Hope that helps.

[girlgun]

dear pookie,

why do i love you a little after reading this thread?

mmmm,

girl with a gun

[Iain]

Dear Pookie,

Why doesn't my brain work anymore? Why do I find it a chore to decide what to have in a sandwich let alone decide on the important issues facing my country.

Yours,

Robert 'Bobby' Mugabe.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by girlgun

dear pookie,

why do i love you a little after reading this thread?

mmmm,

girl with a gun

Don't fight it, embrace the love.

To be serious, I dab a little fragrance behind the ears of this thread, and it usually has the desired affect.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Mama Black Widow

Dear Pookie,

What gets blood out of cotton?

Respectively,

Mama Black Widow.

I've had experience with a lot of blood stains, and nothing works better than Dove brand bath soap (the white bar). It's best not to use warm or hot water on stains, but Dove soap takes out stains that are dried up, hard and even stains that have been soaked in hot water. Just put the stain under running warm water, scrub with the soap, rinse, and it's gone. If the stain is not large, it's not even necessary to throw the clothing into the wash after being cleaned with the soap.

Of course, if you don't have Dove soap, you can simply wash the stain under cold water with normal soap. You can also use an old toothbrush to scrub the stain with hydrogen peroxide. However, peroxide will take the color off clothing and doesn't remove it immediately. You will still have to throw it in the wash and scrub it yourself, though the peroxide helps a little.

Or alternatively, take the precaution of wearing red clothes as often as possible (and I see from your picture, you've thought of that already!).

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Iain

Dear Pookie,

Why doesn't my brain work anymore? Why do I find it a chore to decide what to have in a sandwich let alone decide on the important issues facing my country.

Yours,

Robert 'Bobby' Mugabe.

I'm afraid it's one of the down sides of being a brutal dictator.

On the plus side, you never have to wait for a seat in restaurants.

[!@#$%!]

Dear Pookie,

This is the first time I ask you a question, but do you think that Cindy Sherman is great, or is she a mere hack?

I do admire her greatly, but my friends think I am being fooled by profiteers in the arts world, and should focus on sports instead. After I refused to watch a football game to attend one of her exhibits, they banned me from their beer-swilling soirées.

Where before I enjoyed their camaraderie, now I am shunned for my beliefs. Is it worth it to suffer this way?

Yours,

Adolescent Runt Tortured For Art's Greatness

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Tortured Adolescent

Dear Pookie,

This is the first time I ask you a question, but do you think that Cindy Sherman is great, or is she a mere hack?

I do admire her greatly, but my friends think I am being fooled by profiteers in the arts world, and should focus on sports instead. After I refused to watch a football game to attend one of her exhibits, they banned me from their beer-swilling soirées.

Where before I enjoyed their camaraderie, now I am shunned for my beliefs. Is it worth it to suffer this way?

Yours,

Adolescent Runt Tortured For Art's Greatness

As you youngsters would say, Art>Sport.

So the worst art is better than the best sport.

Plus what Miss Bunbury said.