[Nefeli]

high time i went to the supermarket.
fuck this shit. its gonna be extremely hot today.
lucky me though; i can do all outdoor stuff fast and come hide back in.

[Bytor Peltor]

All of the days and hours that turn into the moments leading up to a loved one dying......soon time won't matter anymore.

[Rob Instigator]

fuck Bytor, that is some bleak existentialist poetry right there.

[Bytor Peltor]

Just how I was feeling this early AM. My Grandfather is soon to die and the family was called in last night. After three hours, we were sent home as he showed slight improvement. At 96, he has lived a good long life.

I'm not sad to see him pass, but it's going to be hard on my mom and she has been spending too much time at the nursing home and it's wearing her out.

[Rob Instigator]

That is tough BP. It is a good thing that your kids got to know their great-grandpa though. Not too many get to.

I lost both my grandpas by age 9. Never met my great grandpas. I did know my grandma's mom though. the ladies in my family live forever.

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

she has been spending too much time at the nursing home and it's wearing her out.

my sincere condolences and prayers

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by Nefeli

thats cool! thank you. i dont want it to be only about the bra.

I didnt think it was about the bra but the woman. Again she could be getting dressed as much as undressed and for either scenario we dont know the context. Big day? Boring day? Is she going to bed to go to sleep or to sleep with somebody? Is it a milf or just a mom?

[Rob Instigator]

I like the oil painting nef. It suggests so much more than just "bra."

[evollove]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

Just how I was feeling this early AM. My Grandfather is soon to die and the family was called in last night. After three hours, we were sent home as he showed slight improvement. At 96, he has lived a good long life.

Buried my 95 year-old grandmother a few hours ago. I kept thinking, "What a triumph. She won. Nine and half decades of life, then buried by friends and family. No one can do better."

She was miserable at the end. Her death was a relief for many, including herself. Nothing tragic about her death, at all. Way to go.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by evollove

Buried my 95 year-old grandmother a few hours ago. I kept thinking, "What a triumph. She won. Nine and half decades of life, then buried by friends and family. No one can do better."

She was miserable at the end. Her death was a relief for many, including herself. Nothing tragic about her death, at all. Way to go.

wow, damn-- whattt???

i'm good to hear it was this way, except for the suffering. i don't know if congratulations are in order but i feel like giving them.

be proud.

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

Just how I was feeling this early AM. My Grandfather is soon to die and the family was called in last night. After three hours, we were sent home as he showed slight improvement. At 96, he has lived a good long life.

I'm not sad to see him pass, but it's going to be hard on my mom and she has been spending too much time at the nursing home and it's wearing her out.

Ow, man. So very sorry. I think in the end after long illnesses death comes as a relief to everyone--at least from what I've seen in my own family and those of friends. Nothing to fear. Best wishes to you and yours.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Nefeli

 

working on this now. with oils. the 3rd i m working on and smth finally starts to happen.
im focused on learning the media and fixing my strokes etc
and now new thoughts surface; about feelings. and what my purpose is, and what my goal really is.
and i m thinking wtf man, i dont need now to think about that too. its smth that is supposed to come naturally.
one step at the time, you know. so shut up. even if with this subject i dont get the feeling, its ok.

oh, i was just referred to this by the following page (i mean this page).

i like it! it's shaping up.

also i think thinking about one's purpose is awesome, so why suppress?

a question i have is-- are you working from a photo or from a real model?

for me the bra is completely secondary here-- what i enjoy mainly is the rolls of flesh-- the body as a real (not ideal) body

i know you're a fan of lucien freud, and while your emotion is a very different one here (different tones for starters, your subject looks healthy) i can see his influence on you a bit. am i high?

also, are you still painting meat? i love those meat paintings. have you done them with oils?

[Bytor Peltor]

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

That is tough BP. It is a good thing that your kids got to know their great-grandpa though. Not too many get to.

I lost both my grandpas by age 9. Never met my great grandpas. I did know my grandma's mom though. the ladies in my family live forever.

YES - they are very fortunate to know there Great Grandfather. My youngest was born after my Grandmother passed and my Grandfather was never quite the same after that.

I hold many cherished memories of him spending time with me and teaching me many things. My favorite times was when we went hunting. Waking at 4:00 AM and venturing out to our deer stands in the dark. My Grandmother cooking what we killed......even the squirrel

Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous

... my sincere condolences and prayers

Thank You......it's truly appreciated!

Originally Posted by evollove

Buried my 95 year-old grandmother a few hours ago.

My condolences......sounds like a lady who enjoyed life and was loved by others!


Talked with my mom earlier and my Grandfather is doing about the same today......and we wait.

[Nefeli]

Originally Posted by evollove

Buried my 95 year-old grandmother a few hours ago. I kept thinking, "What a triumph. She won. Nine and half decades of life, then buried by friends and family. No one can do better."

She was miserable at the end. Her death was a relief for many, including herself. Nothing tragic about her death, at all. Way to go.

i m really sorry for your loss. may she be remembered.

wish you and your family all the best.


i wrote here about my granny some years after her passing; couldnt at the time it happened.
my mourning for her was interrupted by my best mate's sister getting sick and passing after 7 months the same year.

i have guilts about 2 things in my life and one is about her. not seeing her much the last years even though she lived across my place. i will never forgive myself for that.
luckily throughout my life i did spend much time with her. more than usually grandkids spend with their grandmothers and fathers.

she was my favorate, yes i can say that.
it is unfair for 2 other grandparents, who apparently were good people, but i was a kid and hadnt have the chance to get to know them better.

i still see my granny in my dreams sometimes. it was the loss of pure love when she died.
even if she lived for many years, it is still sad, because she didnt have an easy life. it breaks me when old people get that way. at least i hope, i know she knew how much we loved her.

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

Talked with my mom earlier and my Grandfather is doing about the same today......and we wait.

the waiting is traumatising. but we had ours at home. i was going after work and laying with her in her bed and was talking to her; she was in sort of a coma. my aunts were telling me to stop doing that, because i m interupting her 'road to death'. balls of shit, but it was making me doubt if i was doing any good. my fear was if she knew she was leaving life.

what you said before about time, was spot on.
<3.

[Nefeli]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

oh, i was just referred to this by the following page (i mean this page).

i like it! it's shaping up.

also i think thinking about one's purpose is awesome, so why suppress?

a question i have is-- are you working from a photo or from a real model?

for me the bra is completely secondary here-- what i enjoy mainly is the rolls of flesh-- the body as a real (not ideal) body

i know you're a fan of lucien freud, and while your emotion is a very different one here (different tones for starters, your subject looks healthy) i can see his influence on you a bit. am i high?

also, are you still painting meat? i love those meat paintings. have you done them with oils?

thank you and Rob and Suchfriends.

i m always working for a photo. usually its b&w i play and add the colors i want. i have in my head what i want to do and google for pics, need to have some sort of outline.

i have always loved lucian freud and still do, but i m looking more at jenny saville. when i first saw her and i thank this forum for that too, i thought, fuck she is painting what i want to paint (if i was painting).
both do the subjects that i m interested in.
im interested in flesh (overweight female bodies, portraits, animals, meat), but also in abstract painting, which is more serious and hard from my point of view. my goal is to be able at some point to mix the 2, but i m not dealing with that now. need to improve first.
dunno if you saw saville's recent exhibition. i was.. damn woman..she found her way to mix those 2!

yes, the plan is to go back to the meat paintings with oils this time.
when i look at those now, i m not pleased whatsoever.

[!@#$%!]

oh, i just spent some time looking at jenny saville paintings online. i think i want a book.

i see what you're saying about abstract + figure. one of her pictures at the gagosian website looks like that--- the woman with the babies and the big black marks-- but also i think the way some of her older pictures construct volumes from flat splats of color. her palette is brighter too so i see that where you're going.

and as someone who works with a camera on occasion, let me say i hope you can find and work with a model soon.

here's why-- because the camera flattens and lies. it's different from the eye in interpreting volume and perspective and color gamut and dynamic range, and so a photograph is already a highly reductive/abstracted representation of objects in space. i'm not saying it's not a valid starting point for a painting though, i'm just saying it's different, and i suspect you might madly enjoy working with real folds of skin in your mediterranean light (which i don't know how used to it you are but to me it's amazing) and see things a photograph does not.

i know it can get expensive though but maybe you can find the right exhibitionist for your voyeurism.

and are the meat paintings from photos too? or do you have a friendly butcher?

meat is amazing.

thank you for posting your work.

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by evollove

Buried my 95 year-old grandmother a few hours ago. I kept thinking, "What a triumph. She won. Nine and half decades of life, then buried by friends and family. No one can do better."

She was miserable at the end. Her death was a relief for many, including herself. Nothing tragic about her death, at all. Way to go.

Sounds tough yet uplifting. Sorry to hear about your loss

[Nefeli]

thank you.


yeah i know what you mean about working with a photo vs a model, but i dont want to work with a model. i like the fact that i can give my energy to my strokes and color, as opposed to get absorbed by the model itself. i know myself, i would entirely lose focus. i would like to find model and take pictures of it, that yes. its really hard to find what i want via google. plus there is the copyright issue that many times bothers me.

and surely i want to work with models, but more for drawing and doing fast stuff.
the ideal would be to be able to attend fine arts school -when they have a model! due to crisis..things are getting worse by the day there. that way i would be able to do paintings with a model as well.

[!@#$%!]

ahhhhhhh! i understand.

funny thing, i've noticed-- there are some people who are really thrilled at the idea of being a model and would probably do it for free. especially if you're just taking photographs and they don't have to sit with you all day.

antagon i think works with a model for his photos, a girl with green hair. she has these nice fleshy arms and beautiful skin. i'd like to find out how he talked her into posing-- i don't think with money.

i'd look for people with tattoos, bright clothes, lots of jewelry, etc--they're already saying "look at me" i'm sure many would be flattered by such requests. add a bit of alcohol to yourself and i'm sure you can find a model for your photo studies. though getting volume to show up in photos can be a pain sometimes.

--

ETA: here's a good candidate:

 

[Nefeli]

lol and thanks!

or maybe, i should visit nursery houses (?) for old people. really interested in them too.
and today i thought with this talk..maybe i 'd like to paint an underweight male, for a change. or a challenge.

------p.s. googling for nude is a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[!@#$%!]

must spread more butter

go for it!