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#21 |
bad moon rising
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: nyc
Posts: 236
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he said photocopy but he meant cloning
which he thought was possible for some reason or another. haha. |
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#22 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: SoKo
Posts: 10,621
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Taxi driver: What airline should I drop you off at.
Me: *checks paper printout* Orbitz... I mean... South Western. ![]() |
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#23 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 10,807
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"i don't know, i think sonic youth are ripping off red jumpsuit apparatus"
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fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art" |
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#24 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 11,110
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Quote:
haha. |
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#25 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 11,110
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i was walking down the stairs in my old building, a guy was walking next to the stairs, i had my hand in my pocket and the guy said 'take that gun out of your pocket, motherfucker!!!!!' and started running away.
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#26 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: antwerp.
Posts: 2,901
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'excuse me, could you tell me where the hospital is?'
'follow this road, then turn left and then it's on your left side after about two hundred meters.' 'ha ha. you're fooling me eh? well you won't fool me! nah!' and she turned the other way. i as quite speechless and still wondering if she ever found the hospital. |
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#27 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: antwerp.
Posts: 2,901
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Quote:
no, i think she was in her late thirties or something. |
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#28 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Oxford, England
Posts: 15,225
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Quote:
And then your boyfriend pulls it up to the guy's face and in his best Jersey mobster voice goes, "Yeah, there have been. And you're the next one, motherfucker."
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Ever notice how this place just basically, well, sucks. |
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#29 | |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Aylmer(now Gatineau), Quebec
Posts: 1,756
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Quote:
God what waste of human cells said that?
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#30 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: psycho battery
Posts: 12,161
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someone said to me 'i'm not racist but i hate all indians'.
__________________
Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing |@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif |
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#31 |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: i am not going to tell you
Posts: 962
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This britsh guy talking to my mom "The 4th of july? Wasn't that when the americans got the freedom from the indians?"
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S I T M F T J |
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#32 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: the party
Posts: 10,281
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"So does your dad have, like, 9 wives?"
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#33 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,536
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"women pee through their belly buttons"
we were in elementary school, but still, this poor little fucker was sorely misinformed. |
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#34 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,461
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Quote:
Misinformed...what do you mean? ![]()
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www.instagram.com/alienanal |
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#35 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
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"Don't be gay. Suck my dick."
__ Someone said that in a million years everyone would look asian because we'd be so mixed by then, but my friend goes "I won't. I'll be dead" in a completely serious voice. He was joking of course, but it was hilarious. __ And the best one (from a naive 15 year old girl that looks like she is 12): "Fisting is like getting punched, right?" |
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#36 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 15,713
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Quote:
i know a variant of this one: *guy tells another guy*: don't be a fag and kiss me in the mouth |
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#37 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
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Quote:
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#38 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 15,713
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yeah i know, it usually works when out drinking and dude gestures his (ugly, unshaved) face forward.
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#39 |
bad moon rising
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: England
Posts: 96
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I was once going out with a blonde bimbo.
She often opened her mouth in the name of stupidity. One occasion that sticks in my mind was when we were in the pub and she asked for a packet of dry roasted peanuts. Then, as she's eating them, says to everyone at the table: "I really like these, you know. I wonder what they make them out of."
__________________
"While U.V.Ray oozes insurgence he weeps intelligence and sensitivity; an illegitimate love child of Mark Twain and John Wayne joined at the hip by the surgical wisdom of Frankenstein." www.uvray.moonfruit.com . |
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#40 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,662
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"Why have got a girl's name?" That never gets old
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Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse. |
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