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Old 08.02.2007, 04:53 PM   #21
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Christian Bale

I know you're probably a raging hetero, but could you bugger me senseless anyway?

Yours sweetly

Melly xx
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:53 PM   #22
Pookie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
Dear Lauren Laverne,

I love you, leave that Scottish bastard and join me in holy matrimony. I love you more, and am possibly more of a drunk.

Yours,

Glice.

PS - I secretly love you more than Kellly O. Don't tell her though.
Which Scottish bastard is she with?
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:53 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
I used to get up and have breakfast watching it. I must be older than you because I think I'd finished college and was trying to avoid getting a job.

Man, I remember those days too Too bad they didn't last long!
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:55 PM   #24
Glice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
Which Scottish bastard is she with?

Malcolm 'Strap' Middleton, I believe.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:55 PM   #25
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Dear Charlotte Church/everyone Glice has mentioned so far/Claire out of Steps,

I know the world misunderstands you. But together we can make it work. Let's run away together.

DR666
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:56 PM   #26
Glice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom
Dear Jamiroquai

Could you please take your smelly pseudo-funky mysoginist arse out of the gene pool, preferably through a huge ingestion of Ex-Lax?

Yours impatiently

Melly

Dear Jamiroquai,

If you don't listen to my mate Melly, I'm going to eat your lungs and piss in your liver you fucking cunt.

Yours,

Glice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:57 PM   #27
Glice
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Dear Charlotte 'Charlie' Church,

If you dare break our sacred holy bond (viz., me wanking over you on telly) I'll eat your fucking tonsils you callow bitch.

Yours,

Glice.
__________________
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:58 PM   #28
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Aviril Lavigne

I think my son demon's cheating on you again

Yours shopping my boy to the 3AM Girls ("Just leave the five grand in used tenners by the till at the basement in Soho Books - yeah, by the anal section")

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:00 PM   #29
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Guy Ritchie

STOP MAKING FILMS NOW!!!!

Yours tired of mockney shite

Melly

PS Same goes for you, Tarantino
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:00 PM   #30
Sheriff Rhys Chatham
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom
Dear Christian Bale

I know you're probably a raging hetero, but could you bugger me senseless anyway?

Yours sweetly

Melly xx

hes my favorite actor.
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A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:01 PM   #31
demonrail666
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Dear Suggs,

Nobody likes you anymore, except Jools Holland. And nobody likes him anymore, except Paul Weller. And nobody likes him anymore, except Noel Gallagher. And nobody likes him anymore, except Johnny Borrell. And nobody likes him anymore except Kirsten Dunst. And nobody likes her anymore, except me.

So you're fucked, mate.

Yours,

DR666
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:02 PM   #32
MellySingsDoom
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Dear David Beckham

Have you never felt like giving your "wife" a good kick in the cunt?

Yours just asking, like

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:04 PM   #33
jon boy
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dear justin lee hawkings,

you utterly ridiculous fucking cunt just fuck off and die. you make me want to slit my writs and spray blood all over your stupid bearded ugly west country fat fucking face. you cunt.

yours etc etc
jon
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:06 PM   #34
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Bernard Manning

You're dead, you wanker.

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:07 PM   #35
jon boy
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dear hosts of the friday night project,

i hope you fucking burn in hell and get bits of you nailed to the floor. why dont you just stop making such irrelevant telly you utterly predictable bunch of useless fucking cunts.

etc.
__________________
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|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration
V

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PING <-------- moments later
/ \


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Old 08.02.2007, 05:10 PM   #36
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Paul Weller

Why are you such a total cunt? Is is because you wish you were brought up in Ladbroke Grove instead of Woking?

Yours expectantly

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:14 PM   #37
Glice
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Dear Konni Huq,

Why don't you return my letters? Do you, perhaps, have fears that my enormous penis might damage your cervix?

Yours, big-cockedly,

Glice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:14 PM   #38
Prisstina
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dear christopher meloni,

i saw your oz blowjob & shower scenes today, and holy mackerel, will you be mine? i wanna sv you.

sincerely,
emily
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:15 PM   #39
demonrail666
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Dear Danny Dyer,

When your peers were all out fingering girls in the park and nicking cadbury's cream eggs from the corner shop, you were busy being a tree at drama school. Remember that you fucking cunt.

DR666
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Old 08.02.2007, 05:27 PM   #40
pbradley
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Dear Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson,

I know I didn't see Black Snake Moan, yes yes I'm a motherfucker got yah, but I really dug those tunes you sang on for the soundtrack. Please record an album. I would love to hear more songs about you putting bullets into some motherfucker's chest.

Your motherfukin' fan,
pbradley
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