[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

Eh, I'd rather die, honestly. I'm unhappy in life, I've never been happy, and I never will be happy. I've accepted it. I just don't really care about taking care of myself anymore. Oh well.

that's what im saying-- find a shrink-- might be worth the expense.

a good shrink to me fills the role of a priest/rabbi/etc minus the hocus pocus bullshit. a sort of sane parent for the children of the insane. etcetera.

if you're planning to die anyway, what do yo have to lose, scrooge mcduck?

[atsonicpark]

I don't care what happens to me when I die. I already have told people I want to be cremated, and my ashes thrown in a trash can, or down a toilet. No funeral, no tombstone, fuck it. I have made tons of movies and albums and shit -- I have created a legacy, so I won't be completely forgotten, perhaps. And if I am, oh well. I won't be here to know the difference. I have also let my girlfriend know all the boards I post on, so when I die, she can get on here and tell people that I passed away. I'm not sure if anyone would care anyway.

Anyway, back to this thread...

[hevusa]

chin up kiddo

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I don't care what happens to me when I die. I already have told people I want to be cremated, and my ashes thrown in a trash can, or down a toilet. No funeral, no tombstone, fuck it.

I have also let my girlfriend know all the boards I post on, so when I die, she can get on here and tell people that I passed away.

im not talking about after dying, that's a crock of balls-- i mean how can you care when you're dead. also, you can't take your money to the grave. well, maybe you can, but you can't use it (and somebody will dig it out the next day)

im talking about the time you're alive-- if you're never happy, as you say, you're missing out in a big way. if you really are going to be dead in 5 years, at least you could enjoy yourself so you can say "fuck, this was worth it".

i'm just saying-- i think not knowing happiness is pretty tragic. is like never getting laid-- but maybe worse. yeah, worse.

i mean, give it a shot-- if you're already dead, in a way, what do you have to lose?

[atsonicpark]

I've just watched every movie that's ever interested me, heard every band, read every book, taken every drug, played every video game, done every sex-act, etc... Nothing has really ever made me happy -- well, a few things, certainly -- but I just feel like I've done so much so quickly and there's just nothing left to look forward to. I mean, there's going to be some cool shit I'll find out from now until the final days.. but not much... the past year, besides listening to techno and electroacoustic improv, I've sat silently in my room for the most part.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I've just watched every movie that's ever interested me, heard every band, read every book, taken every drug, played every video game, done every sex-act, etc... Nothing has really ever made me happy -- well, a few things, certainly -- but I just feel like I've done so much so quickly and there's just nothing left to look forward to. I mean, there's going to be some cool shit I'll find out from now until the final days.. but not much... the past year, besides listening to techno and electroacoustic improv, I've sat silently in my room for the most part.

the thing with happiness is that it's an internal emotional state, not something you "get" from something else, e.g. "every sex act" can satisfy your curiosity and bring you pleasure but not necessarily make you happy. i mean you can be pretty happy sometimes by sitting down doing absolutely nothing. yes, with no drugs, drinks, or anything.

my point is that maybe it's well worth it to explore what the fuck is this happiness bullshit i'm talking about before you decide to call it quits. and no, you don't get there by seeking more kicks or accumulating experiences. you get it by working through the emotional bullcrap that was dished out to you since your childhood. yeah, i know this sounds like "deep thoughts" but shit can fuck you up. it can also be cured.

[knox]

what the hell, what's going on.

[Green_mind]

I think if I lived in America I'd probably hire a shrink at some point, sounds like a good idea, but I don't think it's quite the same here in England.

[knox]

not all of them are good.

[ann ashtray]

If I lived in England I'd probably visit the dentist once a week....just to make sure I didn't end up like everyone else around me.

[knox]

you wouldn't be able to afford that.

[ann ashtray]

ughhh?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Green_mind

I think if I lived in America I'd probably hire a shrink at some point, sounds like a good idea, but I don't think it's quite the same here in England.

no, in england you have more social controls and more conformity and less serial killers. before you need psychiatric intervention you have dozens of busybodies telling you that what you're doing is "not proper". here by contrast it's "every man for himself." very liberating, yet not without its risks. every culture has a dark side.

[ann ashtray]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

no, in england you have more social controls and more conformity and less serial killers. before you need psychiatric intervention you have dozens of busybodies telling you that what you're doing is "not proper". here by contrast it's "every man for himself." very liberating, yet not without its risks. every culture has a dark side.

Hence this:

America kicks ass, literally...and period.

[Toilet & Bowels]

do we have more conformity?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by ann ashtray

Hence this:

America kicks ass, literally...and period.

what's this obsession with the ass?

anyway, what im saying is that life in 'merica is very free but also very lonely. everyone in their little tv-lit cavern. people can live in basements for years without anyone noticing. back home in sudacaland your relatives would drag you out into the sun (not "yours"-- the impersonal yours). by force if necessary.

[ann ashtray]

If the last 50 years of pop culture and the way America has shaped it proves anything...then for damned sure.

[knox]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

do we have more conformity?

i suppose someone can see it that way.

but to me at least, the british will also be able to criticise things, especially themselves.

while in america people will see some fucking cunts take their house or all their life savings and will probably think it's ok because that's what "freedom" means.

i don't know, that's my rant for the day.

[knox]

it wasn't that, but these constant displays of random empty patriotism could also be social conditioning - and also annoying.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

do we have more conformity?

i've seen groups of british people operating abroad and they seem a very cohesive bunch that operates as a social entity, with an implicit set of dos and dont's that everyone seems to agree upon. a bazillion times i had to hear them talk about how this or that wasn't "proper". proper this proper that proper proper proper. they know what's expected and police themselves. not sure if you can see this embedded in your own social milieu. as an outsider, this called my attention though.

americans on the other hand (im an outsider here too) scatter in their own direction and are incapable of any kind of consensus-- americans need written rules, clearly spelled out, or else it becomes a free-for-all and complete chaos. that's whats called "the libertarian streak of american culture". nobody knows what's expected unless it's written in a rulebook. which also generates a legalistic society (american football is a very legalistic sport, it has a million rules and a million refs). as a result of this lack of social cohesion or a common social ethos, plus the isolation of the american suburb and rural population, america begets a higher number of weirdos, cultists, charlatans, televangelists, lunatics and serial killers-- this in spite of some legendary british eccentrics (eccentrics perhaps in relation to europe).

anyway that's my "theerie".