[luxinterior]

Except I can't do that. They wouldn't let me waste an entire semester at community college just because I don't want to go away to a university. The only way they'll help me out financially is if I do what they want. I won't even kid myself into thinking I could pay for it all on my own, there's just no way.

I just need to find a way to make it work out for me this time, so I don't go running away like a little girl.

[Toilet & Bowels]

if by customer service you mean working in a shop then that will be a pain as far as your back is concerned i have back problems too and standing at a counter all day is pretty bad for it.
anyway, i've been doing tai chi for the last few months and it has been great for my back, i'd highly recommend trying it.

[luxinterior]

Oh yeah? That's pretty interesting actually. Maybe I will pick up a video on it in the "special interest" section of our rental store, assuming by now they have more than the usual stock of deer hunting / professional wrestling tapes.

[SynthethicalY]

Originally Posted by Washing Machine

I had a simular thing. Until this year I really didnt feel ready to go off to university. So even though I had more than enough grades and points to get into to university I went back to Sixth Form for another year and did some more subjects. It was crazy I know. But now im really excited about university. Its because I feel ready to leave home and enter another period of my life. You should leave when you feel ready and it feels like the right time in your life.

I agree with leaving when you are ready. I am ready, so next years I will leave here this town.

[Washing Machine]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I just need to find a way to make it work out for me this time, so I don't go running away like a little girl.

The british system is rather different. The more subjects, the more points, the more points the better uni you can go to. So it wasnt a complete waste of time. However I had more than an enough to get into the course im going into now a year ago....Plus students get paid for going to Collage/Sixth Form. £30 a week for turning up to about 1 lesson a day. So i suspect thats why i decided to go back and do another year as opposed to taking a gap year and actually having to get a job.

Why didn't you like about Uni?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

if by customer service you mean working in a shop then that will be a pain as far as your back is concerned i have back problems too and standing at a counter all day is pretty bad for it.
anyway, i've been doing tai chi for the last few months and it has been great for my back, i'd highly recommend trying it.

hell yes, it's awesome. i took classes for about 7-8 months a few years ago. it was great. i should have kept practicing. i remember the terrible leg burn & my knees buckling from standing forever in those positions. hm...

i do stretching these days instead, and there's this very funny book i like; great routine & lots of theory plus a good dose of hilarious russian bravado:

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Stretch.../dp/0938045180

i never bought the book, i borrowed, read & took notes which i use these days. good stuff.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

Except I can't do that. They wouldn't let me waste an entire semester at community college just because I don't want to go away to a university. The only way they'll help me out financially is if I do what they want. I won't even kid myself into thinking I could pay for it all on my own, there's just no way.

I just need to find a way to make it work out for me this time, so I don't go running away like a little girl.

heee heee, luxy, everyone has to grow up & face unknown crap & that can be tough. don't be embarrassed about running away "like a little girl". you probably were, at the time . i mean don't be hard on yourself, some people lose it while in college & you were smart enough to do a strategic retreat.

but seriously, there are other types of arrangements. like commuter schools and what not, you can live @ home & drive there. but maybe they don't have one near enough? in any case, you don't have to live in the shitty dorms. you can rent an apartment with roommates (a pain, i know) which will give you more privacy & freedom--if you pick the right roommates. being in the dorms for a year or two is nice until you find friends you want to move in with. but then you didn't like the dorms nor find decent friends. hm...

anyway.. a little crazy optimism sometimes can be a good thing because when things get tought it's the only thing that keeps you going... don't be afraid & think of what you'll gain. but then againt ponder your moves carefully so you don't find yourself in a bad situation you can't get out of. but there are infinite options, some you don't even know. maybe going to a small school rather than a large zoo would be the thing for you?

not trying to lure you or anything (ha ha), but here in new mexico they have this really cool school, not sure if the degree is good for anything but i sure love the curriculum:

http://www.stjohnscollege.edu/asp/home.aspx

[cuetzpalin]

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

haha, nice nin referance

it's johnny cash originally

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by Washing Machine

Why didn't you like about Uni?

Everything. Do any thread search that includes my username along with the words "college", "Loyola," and/or "stalking" and you should come up with the answer.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

but seriously, there are other types of arrangements. like commuter schools and what not, you can live @ home & drive there. but maybe they don't have one near enough? in any case, you don't have to live in the shitty dorms. you can rent an apartment with roommates (a pain, i know) which will give you more privacy & freedom--if you pick the right roommates. being in the dorms for a year or two is nice until you find friends you want to move in with. but then you didn't like the dorms nor find decent friends.

I can't commute, though I wouldn't mind doing so if there were a school near enough. As for dorms, I really hope I never have to live in one again, it drove me out of my mind. And apartments, well that's what I'm hoping for, but I can't imagine it would work out as I don't have anyone I could move in with. The friends I had in high school are all at different colleges, none of which I was really planning on ever going to (for both financial and personal interest reasons), so I wouldn't ask them about it. I would have to meet entirely new people, but I don't know how you go about doing that before the semester starts. And that's another downside--I'll be joining in at the middle of the school year, when everyone has already settled down and no one's really looking for room/housemates or friends for that matter.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

not trying to lure you or anything (ha ha), but here in new mexico they have this really cool school, not sure if the degree is good for anything but i sure love the curriculum:

http://www.stjohnscollege.edu/asp/home.aspx

Hahaha thanks, but I think I'm going to have to stay in state. I learned that the hard way.

[Washing Machine]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

Everything. Do any thread search that includes my username along with the words "college", "Loyola," and/or "stalking" and you should come up with the answer.

I thought 'everything' would be the answer

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

Everything. Do any thread search that includes my username along with the words "college", "Loyola," and/or "stalking" and you should come up with the answer.

holy shit.. i was going to log in and i saw your post & did just that (search). found your conversation with truncated. daaaaaang!!!! i didn't know it had been so hard. fuck!

i'll post you something later because i need to think about this, but there are a few other housing options... i gotta get breakfast first though-- it's already past noon & i'm starved. but back in a little bit.

[!@#$%!]

okay... that was a nice little breakfast. and in the meantime i was thinking & rummaging through the internet. decided to break down the thing into little pieces:

1) in-state vs. out of state. definitely in-state! for infinite reasons: 1) reduced tuition 2) eligible for work-study 3) more options for financial aid, which combined with #1 make for less or no debt at the end of your studies. 4) closer to home, if you need to be near your family (you could even go spend the weekend).

2) choice of schools. see i was thinking in general small colleges would be better for you because of their quieter atmosphere & more attention from teachers etc. but i don't know if you can find a public institution like that in missourah. private ones maybe, but those are expen$ive.

check this out:
http://missouri.collegedirectorynetwork.com/
you can probably start looking for suitable places there. however--

i think you definitely should tour the schools before you set foot there. you have all summer & fall & maybe you can make it a little family excursion-- you know, small road trip. snoop around orientation if you can, drop in on a random weekend to check out the campus atmosphere.

3) housing. well you are not completely out of options. just know that from now until the day you finally are able to afford your own home (whether it's bought or rented) you're not going to be satisfied with your living quarters. no you won't. sorry but it's a fact of life. people spend their lifetimes looking for the right place to live and some can afford their silly dreams others have to compromise. so, train yourself

having said that-- it seems to me that renting outside campus would better suit your introverted nature. you need quiet, privacy, etc. if that's the case, even an apartment with roomates might be hell on earth. i had a roomate who dealt pot from his bedroom. we always had "visitors". very fucking annoying (i'm not a potehad). he and his girlfriend (who stayed often) also had loud fights & dramas. not the best place in the universe.

however-- in every university town there are always hordes of little old ladies who rent rooms in their very proper homes. some have "kitchen privileges" & stuff like that. i personally would never like to live in a place like that because i've always liked to bring *cough* visitors home. BUT, keeping in mind that compromise is our daily bread, this might be a place where you can find quiet & privacy & a place away from the bustle of school.

usually, those types of rooms become available at any point in the year because your typical college student doesn't like to live with grandma who doesn't let the boyfriend/girlfriend spend the night. so there will be openings year-round and there will be no lease to sign because you'll be on a month-to-month basis. and then you can wait it out until you find someone to live with. and if you're close enough (3-4 hours?) you'll be able to go home on weekends.

my advice when you decide on a school for next spring is to go to the off-campus housing office in like december & see what listings they have. check the local papers etc & visit the houses & arrange your situation in advance of moving there. it will be well worth the effort. you can even do that during winter break.

4) stalkers. you're hot. get used to it. (ha ha). well as it turns out i know a lot of girls who've had stalkers & some turn out to be harmless. my wife used to have a stalker & i met him at a party & he was a nice quiet guy and it turns out we lived in the same building!! but he never bugged us. a lot of what people think of as "stalkers" are just horny boys in love. BUT-- you have months to prepare. i suggest one of those rape awareness classes (i think you've posted about that) but also maybe take a self-defense class or something like that. i know it sounds ridiculous but knowing how to kick someone in the nuts & run is a vital skill. eye-gouging is pretty handy too.

---

anyway, i hope you find a way to make it! now i have to get off the internet because madame !@#$%! has returned & my attention is required.

but best wishes luxy-- i hope this has been useful

[luxinterior]

Thanks for taking the time to write all of that (I really need to browse through that excellent site you've posted).

The stalking thing just makes me hesitant to form any sort of close friendships in the future. These weren't people who had the hots for me, they just wouldn't leave me the hell alone. They couldn't deal with the fact that they were terrible, obnoxious people who no one in their right mind would want to be around for an extended period of time.

Anyway, I just like being alone in the same way other people like being surrounded by their friends at all times. Whenever my friends come home to visit, I sort of look forward to seeing them, but it's always more of a hassle than anything else. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I get very little enjoyment out of their company. I'm also not used to being around people my own age. I don't know how to approach these people, or what to talk about, or how to begin relating to them. I rarely talk to the people in my classes at school. It sounds stupid, but the only people I genuinely enjoy being with are my family. We fight all the time, but I don't even care. Maybe I can get one of my brothers to graduate high school a few years early, and then we can go to the same college and be housemates.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

Anyway, I just like being alone in the same way other people like being surrounded by their friends at all times. Whenever my friends come home to visit, I sort of look forward to seeing them, but it's always more of a hassle than anything else. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I get very little enjoyment out of their company. I'm also not used to being around people my own age. I don't know how to approach these people, or what to talk about, or how to begin relating to them. I rarely talk to the people in my classes at school. It sounds stupid, but the only people I genuinely enjoy being with are my family. We fight all the time, but I don't even care. Maybe I can get one of my brothers to graduate high school a few years early, and then we can go to the same college and be housemates.

just did a little yard patrol & on a short break spotted this.

you're a natural introvert. learn about it & be comfortable with it.

you need this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Adva.../dp/0761123695

yes you do. check it out. good stuff in it & you'll learn to manage better without feeling guilty. ok, back to work for me. gotta go fix my new office (it has doors that close-- hurray). (currently i'm in the middle of a would-be living room).

[gmku]

Magnets are useful for many things in our modern world. Don't be so quick to say fuck magnets.

[floatingslowly]

I'm all about pointing out my own ignorance when it occurs.

for some reason, I never imagined that they made magnets in a magnet factory (I don't think I ever put much thought into it to tell you the truth)...and I feel smarter all of a sudden.

seriously though....does working around magnets all day fuck you up?? I'm not accusing YOU of being fucked up Lucks, but damn, I would spend my day convinced that I was getting brain tumors.

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by gmku

Magnets are useful for many things in our modern world. Don't be so quick to say fuck magnets.

We make refrigerator magnets. I can and do say "fuck magnets."

And I never heard anything about magnets causing brain tumors, but maybe that's what my giant brain tumor has been trying to tell me all this time.

[val-holla-ing]

congrats! i quit my job last saturday. fuck magnets and fuck sandwiches.

[SynthethicalY]

I wish I could quit but hell they have benefits for part-time workers.

[gmku]

I don't know where I'd be without my refrigerator magnets. I'd probably have missed like 10 doctor appointments over the last couple of years.