[atsonicpark]

I love that line.

My favorite Weezer line is: "Even Izzy, Slash, and Axl Rose. When you call, I put 'em all on hold." That line or the brilliant, "It's just sexual attraction -- it's not real, so I better keep whackin'!"

Rivers is (was?) hilarious. Great band for those first few albums. Even the albums after that had some really cool parts ("Hash Pipe" is an amazing song! And.. uh.. okay, that album pretty much sucked, but Maladroit had some cool songs, I never bothered to check out Make Believe)..

[Pax Americana]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I love that line.

My favorite Weezer line is: "Even Izzy, Slash, and Axl Rose. When you call, I put 'em all on hold." That line or the brilliant, "It's just sexual attraction -- it's not real, so I better keep whackin'!"

Rivers is (was?) hilarious. Great band for those first few albums. Even the albums after that had some really cool parts ("Hash Pipe" is an amazing song! And.. uh.. okay, that album pretty much sucked, but Maladroit had some cool songs, I never bothered to check out Make Believe)..

I agree about Blue and Pinkerton, those albums are total classics. After that it's a steady downhill slide until Make Believe. Avoid that album at all costs. My friend (who is a HUGE Weezer fan) burned me a copy of that record when it first came out. I listened to it once... that was all I could take. It's seriously like the worst album ever made. I can't believe Weezer could make such utter shit after their first two albums were so good.

Also, whoever mentioned Frank Black, I rather enjoy his lyrics. He's had some clunkers, but I'd say that overall he's a good lyricist. I heard him descibe his writing style as "stream of unconciousness", which I thought was kinda funny.

As far as bad lyrics go though... hmmm... Sonic Youth actually have some pretty lame ones. Nevermind (What Was It Anyway) comes to mind:

'Boys go to Jupiter/ Get more stupider'

Yeah.

Although SY have penned some pretty awesome lyrics too, so I guess I can forgive them.

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Nick Cave's "From Her To Eternity" contains this gem:

This desire to possess her is a wound
And it's nagging at me like a shrew.

that's pretty fucking horrible.

[atari 2600]

we have a weiner





Barenaked Ladies
"One Week"

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together come back and see me"
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin achin shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
and said "I'm sorry"
Five days since I laughed at you and said
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame,
but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie

[Rob Instigator]

you win. that is the worst shit. I had forgotten about the barenaked idiots since my loathing for hjootie and the blowfish has been re-stoked recently

[Hip Priest]

Coldplay

"Speed Of Sound"

How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?

Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah when you see it then you'll understand?

All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh?
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah, when you see it then you'll understand?

[TheDom]

Relying on rap, but in the kitchen I'm a chemist
And when I was 5, my favorite movie was "The Gremlins"
Ain't got shit to do with this, but I just thought that I should mention
You looking for devine and the little intervention

[atsonicpark]

I think the "Like Kurasawa I make mad films" line in that Barenaked Ladies is the worst. Has he SEEN Kurasawa?

Anyway, I forgot Metallica... "OMINOUS! I'M IN US!" followed closely by "MY LIFESTYLE DETERMINES MY DEATH STYLE."

[GrungeMonkey]

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead

Oh, and I've always hated Bob Dylan lyrics.

noooooooooo!

[HECKLER SPRAY]

Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Zephir Song

Can I get your hand to write on
Just a piece of lead to bite on
What am I to fly my kite on
Do you want to flash your light on
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today

Did you meet your fortune teller
Get it off with no propellor
Do it up it's always stellar
What a way to finally smell her
Pick it up it's not to strong - for you
Take a piece and pass it on

Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
Fly on my wing

Riddlin on liberator
Find a way to be a skater
Rev it up to levitator
Super mainly aviator
Take a look its on display - for you
Coming down no not today

Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We'll find a place together

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - do you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - won't you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together

In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We're gonna live forever
Forever.

Beuh....

[Rob Instigator]

anthony kiedis always had stupid lyrics
they used to be funky at least

[HECKLER SPRAY]

Yeah, it rhymes but it's crapy.
It's the worst lyrics I've ever seen.

[Silent Dan Speaks]

I maintain three days grace write the worst lyrics. I will always hate them for those months when I couldn't turn on the radio or go out in public without hearing "I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! WHY DO I LOVE YOU?"

That is of course just one example of the many, many shitty lyrics they have written.

[hat and beard]

has anyone heard this song?

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Best line: We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

My former room mate turned me on to the wonders of this song. Apparently it's quite popular in the USA.

[hat and beard]

There's also this one that inspired my 'dumbest song in the universe' thread.

The Happy Soldier by Keane

I've been thinking
Why don't we
Jump onboard some gunship
And sail away to sea

And if I'm seized by enemy
Of any kind
I don't mind
They'll be sorry
Wait and see
The SAS will rescue me

I've been thinking
I'm so bored
What a life to live and die
By the silver sword

And if I'm crashed on stormy seas
The darkness falls and all I see
Is a desert island
That's ok
I'll use the stars to find my way
If I'm drifting to no-man's land
GHQ will lend a hand
And there's nothing king and country wouldn't do for me
(x2)

[Pax Americana]

Originally Posted by hat and beard

has anyone heard this song?





Best line: We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

My former room mate turned me on to the wonders of this song. Apparently it's quite popular in the USA.

I've heard it, and yeah... it's fucking awful.

[finding nobody]

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead

Oh, and I've always hated Bob Dylan lyrics.

Darkness at Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fools gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proved to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying.

Temptation's page flies out the door
You follow, find yourself at war
Watch waterfalls of pity roar
You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover
That you'd just be
One more person crying.

So don't fear if you hear
A foreign sound to you ear
It's alright, Ma, I'm only sighing.

As some warn victory, some downfall
Private reasons great or small
Can be seen in the eyes of those that call
To make all that should be killed to crawl
While others say don't hate nothing at all
Except hatred.

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their marks
Made everything from toy guns that sparks
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much
Is really sacred.

While preachers preach of evil fates
Teachers teach that knowledge waits
Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
Goodness hides behind its gates
But even the President of the United States
Sometimes must have
To stand naked.

An' though the rules of the road have been lodged
It's only people's games that you got to dodge
And it's alright, Ma, I can make it.

Advertising signs that con you
Into thinking you're the one
That can do what's never been done
That can win what's never been won
Meantime life outside goes on
All around you.

You loose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand without nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks
They really found you.

A question in your nerves is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy
Insure you not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not forget
That it is not he or she or them or it
That you belong to.

Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.

For them that must obey authority
That they do not respect in any degree
Who despite their jobs, their destinies
Speak jealously of them that are free
Cultivate their flowers to be
Nothing more than something
They invest in.

While some on principles baptized
To strict party platforms ties
Social clubs in drag disguise
Outsiders they can freely criticize
Tell nothing except who to idolize
And then say God Bless him.

While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he's in.

But I mean no harm nor put fault
On anyone that lives in a vault
But it's alright, Ma, if I can't please him.

Old lady judges, watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare
While money doesn't talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares
Propaganda, all is phony.

While them that defend what they cannot see
With a killer's pride, security
It blows the minds most bitterly
For them that think death's honesty
Won't fall upon them naturally
Life sometimes
Must get lonely.

My eyes collide head-on with stuffed graveyards
False gods, I scuff
At pettiness which plays so rough
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say okay, I have had enough
What else can you show me ?

And if my thought-dreams could been seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only.

Some laaaame lyrics right there.. Yep.. No doubt

[LittlePuppetBoy]

Originally Posted by hat and beard

has anyone heard this song?





Best line: We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

My former room mate turned me on to the wonders of this song. Apparently it's quite popular in the USA.

Ugh. I've heard that one. Terrible.

Three days Grace have bad lyrics (they're pretty much all about him suffering) but Nickleback have worse.


Example:
I'm through with standing in line
to clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[CHORUS]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

I think I'm gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a pez dispenser
When they ask why I drink all day
I'll say because I can

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
Then listen to the fans tell me how damn good I am

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[atsonicpark]

new durst lyric:

"hey mr. diarhea-of-mouth"

[atsonicpark]

...

yeah but "ominous i'm in us"?