'How I lost my virginity' horror/semi-horror stories - Page 2

vulva · 04.22.2009, 03:07 AM

We went to her place during lunch in grade 9. When she got back, apparently she ended up being so aroused that she came in class. Her chair/ass were soaked. I was getting high fives from my buddies while she was being horribly embarassed.

Toilet & Bowels · 04.22.2009, 05:58 AM

the first post is a pretty good story. speaking of crying and sex, when i broke up with my last girlfriend we had break-up sex where we were both in floods of tears for the whole thing, it was really weird, but also pretty amazing to experience grief and arousal at the same time.

the time i lost my virginity was very unremarkable although the girl i did it with was considerably more experienced and i didn't want her to know it was my first time so when i came after a few minutes i was a bit embarrased acted as if normally i last much longer than that. the times after that i lasted much longer and after a little while i told her the truth about being a virgin and she didn't believe me, so i was kind of chuffed about that.
the cool thing about the whole event was that it took place in paris, which is a good place to lose your virginity.

atsonicpark · 04.22.2009, 07:25 AM

I started to have sex with a girl but she was so tight and I'd never done it before that I couldn't get it in. She also started crying. She screamed at me, "THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!" I was like, "Huh?!" and she cheated on me 2 weeks later.

...But when me and my actual girlfriend had actual sex the first time, it was beautiful. I've been with her for 6 years tomorrow.

floatingslowly · 04.22.2009, 09:38 AM

When the eggs in the egg tube are ready, the worm slips backwards out of the saddle. As the saddle passes the egg tube, six eggs are dropped in.

As the saddle passes over the worm's head, the ends close up and make a tiny lemon-shaped cocoon with the eggs inside.

This cocoon protects them until they hatch out as very small but fully developed worms.

Two months later, she left me for a church-camp guy who had (somewhat rightfully) convinced her that I was the Anti-Christ.

SpectralJulianIsNotDead · 04.22.2009, 10:47 AM

I was killed to feed and eaten after my first time.

Rob Instigator · 04.22.2009, 11:02 AM

I put my penis in a vagina

DeadDiscoDildo · 04.22.2009, 11:23 AM

God damnit rob you fucking bastard, you win again.

Glice · 04.22.2009, 11:49 AM

I'm not much of a one for virginity stories, so I shan't. I also shan't tell you the story of getting my brown wings, but if any of you meet me for a pint, remind me to tell you that story.

Toilet & Bowels · 04.22.2009, 11:54 AM

i will

Lurker · 04.22.2009, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kloriel

I was arrested for shooting a mother fucker in the eye with a wrist rocket. I was still a virgin when it happened. So over the next several months I lost my virginity by drilling a whole through cement blocks with my friend Last Anasazi.

I don't know why but this is hilarious.

tw2113 · 04.22.2009, 07:55 PM

I'll let ya'll know when it happens

terriblecanyons · 08.05.2009, 01:28 AM

Okay, okay. Alright, fine. But only because I'm bored.

I was 15 and it lasted for like 30 seconds. It hurt a bunch and it sucked. The end.

pbradley · 08.05.2009, 01:47 AM

I was more a bystander to my own second christening. Borderline rape, really.

terriblecanyons · 08.05.2009, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amerikangod

Was his collar popped when it happened? We need juicy details like that to properly savor the shame.

No popped collar, but I wish he would've finished with something like "THUNDERCATS ARE GO"

terriblecanyons · 08.05.2009, 01:56 AM

Or the end of the Wicker Man.

"OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY."

I would seriously marry anyone who said that at climax.

Satan · 08.05.2009, 03:25 AM

ok so i was like 14 at this party and i got shitfaced drunk and started making out with this dude and i told him bluntly "i want to fuck you" so we went in some other room and i don't remember it hurting and i didn't bleed but it wasn't much of anything.

nothing special there. the end.

atsonicpark · 08.05.2009, 03:33 AM

I loved having sex the first time. I felt so full of life. I'd came before, of course, but intercourse was surprisingly magical and amazing. I dunno what it was.

The feeling eventually went away and never came back.

TheFoxBen · 08.05.2009, 03:39 AM

This is the worst thread ever.

atsonicpark · 08.05.2009, 03:41 AM

I'm a humble guy with healthy desire.

dirty bunny · 08.06.2009, 01:10 AM

Wow love the Wickerman reference.

04.22.2009, 03:07 AM	#21
vulva the end of the ugly Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,041	We went to her place during lunch in grade 9. When she got back, apparently she ended up being so aroused that she came in class. Her chair/ass were soaked. I was getting high fives from my buddies while she was being horribly embarassed. __________________ "The mind splits open and the world falls in." -- Euripides
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04.22.2009, 05:58 AM	#22
Toilet & Bowels invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Northern Europe Posts: 12,282	the first post is a pretty good story. speaking of crying and sex, when i broke up with my last girlfriend we had break-up sex where we were both in floods of tears for the whole thing, it was really weird, but also pretty amazing to experience grief and arousal at the same time. the time i lost my virginity was very unremarkable although the girl i did it with was considerably more experienced and i didn't want her to know it was my first time so when i came after a few minutes i was a bit embarrased acted as if normally i last much longer than that. the times after that i lasted much longer and after a little while i told her the truth about being a virgin and she didn't believe me, so i was kind of chuffed about that. the cool thing about the whole event was that it took place in paris, which is a good place to lose your virginity.
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04.22.2009, 07:25 AM	#23
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	I started to have sex with a girl but she was so tight and I'd never done it before that I couldn't get it in. She also started crying. She screamed at me, "THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!" I was like, "Huh?!" and she cheated on me 2 weeks later. ...But when me and my actual girlfriend had actual sex the first time, it was beautiful. I've been with her for 6 years tomorrow. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

04.22.2009, 09:38 AM	#24
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	When the eggs in the egg tube are ready, the worm slips backwards out of the saddle. As the saddle passes the egg tube, six eggs are dropped in. As the saddle passes over the worm's head, the ends close up and make a tiny lemon-shaped cocoon with the eggs inside. This cocoon protects them until they hatch out as very small but fully developed worms. Two months later, she left me for a church-camp guy who had (somewhat rightfully) convinced her that I was the Anti-Christ.
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04.22.2009, 10:47 AM	#25
SpectralJulianIsNotDead invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,409	I was killed to feed and eaten after my first time.
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04.22.2009, 11:02 AM	#26
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,991	I put my penis in a vagina __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
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04.22.2009, 11:23 AM	#27
DeadDiscoDildo invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 3,805	God damnit rob you fucking bastard, you win again.
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04.22.2009, 11:54 AM	#29
Toilet & Bowels invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Northern Europe Posts: 12,282	i will
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04.22.2009, 07:55 PM	#31
tw2113 expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,156	I'll let ya'll know when it happens __________________ Shake shake
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08.05.2009, 01:28 AM	#32
terriblecanyons invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: the land where large fuzzy dice still hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors Posts: 5,949	Okay, okay. Alright, fine. But only because I'm bored. I was 15 and it lasted for like 30 seconds. It hurt a bunch and it sucked. The end.
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08.05.2009, 01:47 AM	#33
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	I was more a bystander to my own second christening. Borderline rape, really.
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08.05.2009, 01:56 AM	#35
terriblecanyons invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: the land where large fuzzy dice still hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors Posts: 5,949	Or the end of the Wicker Man. "OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY." I would seriously marry anyone who said that at climax.
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08.05.2009, 03:25 AM	#36
Satan invito al cielo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: noo yawk Posts: 6,331	ok so i was like 14 at this party and i got shitfaced drunk and started making out with this dude and i told him bluntly "i want to fuck you" so we went in some other room and i don't remember it hurting and i didn't bleed but it wasn't much of anything. nothing special there. the end. __________________ "I love meth." - batreleaser
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08.05.2009, 03:33 AM	#37
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	I loved having sex the first time. I felt so full of life. I'd came before, of course, but intercourse was surprisingly magical and amazing. I dunno what it was. The feeling eventually went away and never came back. __________________
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08.05.2009, 03:39 AM	#38
TheFoxBen expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The land of fries and mussels Posts: 1,366	This is the worst thread ever. __________________
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08.05.2009, 03:41 AM	#39
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	I'm a humble guy with healthy desire. __________________
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08.06.2009, 01:10 AM	#40
dirty bunny expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oh, why Texas actually Posts: 1,680	Wow love the Wickerman reference. __________________ kiss me kiss me in the shadow of a doubt
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