[h8kurdt]

Originally Posted by _tunic_

so a few weeks back the following people were in my town, on the same night:
- Maradona !! he was watching the PSV football match
- Bryan Adams, yeah who cares I know. But still, kind of rare that he chooses to play a concert in my town instead of anywhere else
-

!!! Not sure what he was doing, probably having dinner. His daughter lives in a small nearby town. She's into horses and that town has many of them. And if he's visiting, they always go to this one Italian restaurant.

cool huh? Must be said that I was abroad when this all happened :-(
But still cool that I'm having the same pyama's as Maradona bought!
He spent maybe more than a month on football camp with the team from Saudi Arabia that he's now coaching, in a small town near Eindhoven. And he was in the press all the time, such as:
- he went shopping in local Hema department store and bought a pyama, but no sausage
- some events were organised where he would show up, like meet and greets, and of course he would not show up but cancel at the very last moment
- he would spend most of his time at the hotel bar

I'd faint if I saw him

[_tunic_]

you meant Bruce right? Then here's another story:
Some years ago he got to talk at another Italian restaurant with a guy hat was organizing a small festival (about 9000 people max), and he was invited to play, but only if he would not play his own songs but just well-known covers. Because that was the premise of the festival, all artists play covers. And he said "sure I'll come". So he played at that festival with some band he probably quickly drew together, only playing covers. He even screwed up a Dutch song ;-)
And apparently nobody knew it was him!
Source (Dutch news article) is here

[!@#$%!]

he should have played some johnny cash!

[evollove]

Isn't retroactive sexual jealousy the worst, when you're driven nuts by what the other did in the past?

It's unfair, irrational and yet very painful.

Or is it just envy? They had all the fun while I wanked it for all those years?

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

Isn't retroactive sexual jealousy the worst, when you're driven nuts by what the other did in the past?

It's unfair, irrational and yet very painful.

Or is it just envy? They had all the fun while I wanked it for all those years?

Yeah, it's not great. Especially because you (or at least I) feel like an absolute jackass for feeling it in the fist place.
I used to feel this about my girlfriend's former partners. For at least a year actually, when we started dating. Didn't make any sense to her. Didn't make any sense to me. Not like I didn't have partners, and that didn't drive her crazy. So... lots of shame about just having those feelings, at least for me.
Luckily it faded. Not sure when.

Jealousy, of any kind, sucks and is the worst.

[evollove]

At least a year? Man, that's brutal.

How did you not turn into a total asshole? How did you not slip and call her "slut" at some angry, perhaps drunken point?

To have an irrational thought, to know it's irrational, to be bothered by it anyway...brains are stupid.

[!@#$%!]

i wanted to answer this yesterday but i needed more info before saying anything

but i'll skip to the present now

i don't understand having a horny lady in your hands and complaining about it

isn't that like a great wasting of a great opportunity?

and shouldn't you be throwing a party instead?

i mean, she's chosen you now. this is your chance. use it or lose it. right?

sorry i can't be more help.

[evollove]

You're right, but rationality doesn't work.

Example: I had to use a condom, but the last dude got to jizz in her whenever he wanted because she was on the pill. How the fuck does one think their way out of that?

Sev's year is pretty fucked tho.

[!@#$%!]

i... dont like to think about dudes when having sex (sorry, dudes)

the way i see it, you're neurotically ruining your chances to remove the condom in this scenario

i don't know what to tell you. if i had tact i'd write an advice column. instead, i insult people without trying.

i guess to put it in pop culture terms-- you have to become spongeworthy (or pillworthy?)

whining about it won't make you pillworthy

whining never works, not in the long run anyway

cmon man. be creative. have a good time before you die. this is now.

[h8kurdt]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i wanted to answer this yesterday but i needed more info before saying anything

but i'll skip to the present now

i don't understand having a horny lady in your hands and complaining about it

isn't that like a great wasting of a great opportunity?

and shouldn't you be throwing a party instead?

i mean, she's chosen you now. this is your chance. use it or lose it. right?

sorry i can't be more help.

This.

Either get a grip on it or risk losing her cos of your own insecurities

[h8kurdt]

Originally Posted by evollove

You're right, but rationality doesn't work.

Example: I had to use a condom, but the last dude got to jizz in her whenever he wanted because she was on the pill. How the fuck does one think their way out of that?

Sev's year is pretty fucked tho.

How long you been going out?

Might be eventually she wants to go on the pill and you can spread the seed all you want. In the mean time just enjoy cumming wherever else.

[h8kurdt]

Originally Posted by _tunic_

you meant Bruce right? Then here's another story:
Some years ago he got to talk at another Italian restaurant with a guy hat was organizing a small festival (about 9000 people max), and he was invited to play, but only if he would not play his own songs but just well-known covers. Because that was the premise of the festival, all artists play covers. And he said "sure I'll come". So he played at that festival with some band he probably quickly drew together, only playing covers. He even screwed up a Dutch song ;-)
And apparently nobody knew it was him!
Source (Dutch news article) is here

Woah! Just another reason why I love the guy

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

At least a year? Man, that's brutal.

How did you not turn into a total asshole? How did you not slip and call her "slut" at some angry, perhaps drunken point?

To have an irrational thought, to know it's irrational, to be bothered by it anyway...brains are stupid.

Hah.

Are you joking? I don't think I've ever called anyone a slut. Not since junior high, talking about Mariah Carey or something. Never a term I've favored in person.
I didn't snap or turn into an asshole because I knew the problem was mine. She wanted to be with me, impossible to fault her for past perfectly human things. I just had a hang-up for a bit, is all, and that's because of my own bullshit.

Anyway, I probably did turn into something of an asshole just by being unable to completely hide the fact that it bothered me. She picked up on it, and she'd say something to make me feel better.... and then I'd realize I was being a shit by making her feel like she needed to waste her energy re-assuring me or whatever. Especially when I wasn't having to justify not being an adult virgin to her! Haha.

So, I guess I was a shit, if not the kind you're talking about, and the realization of that shittiness helped me chill the fuck out.

ALSO... not trying to get too touchy and personal here, but the early phases of a deeply emotional and also sexual relationship can be really awkward. When you're just head over heels for someone, but you're still, y'know, learning about each other. I think that takes about a year, to "learn" your partner.
And then, somewhere along the line.... Not to be indelicate, but... you start banging like fucking superheroes and making each other come with less and less effort, and it gets seamless and kind of beautiful and awesome.

Kinda hard to concern yourself with your partner's previous partners when you're having incredible sex with that person on a daily basis.

The real challenges come around year #3-5, where some of that magic is gone and real life sets in and you have to still make time for each other and make each other feel loved. THAT shit is hard. That's the real issue for me. I'm a workaholic, and an anxious mess, so keeping my shit together as a partner over the long term has been the greater challenge for me.

[Severian]

Let me clarify... a year at most of occasional jealousy... it wasn't a year of torture.
Took us about two months to get past some of the initial awkwardness. So, reel in that year as a metric of my suffering. It wasn't like that.

Also, we're talking about year one of an almost ten-year relationship that is still on-going, even though we're taking a break and she is on a voyage of undetermined length at present. We're talking about the best relationship of my life, by far. If I marry, ever, it will be her.

You want horror stories? I'll have to go back to my late teens and early 20s. I can tell you some shit that will make you feel like a champ, my friend. I've been raked over the goddamn coals, and hurt, and I've hurt back, and every relationship prior to this one has been a disaster of one extreme kind of abother.

So, if you want to feel better, I'm sure I can help with that. Hahahaha

ETA: I edited this for privacy reasons. If you saw an earlier version, please be cool about it.

[evollove]

Originally Posted by Severian

So, if you want to feel better, I'm sure I can help with that. Hahahaha

ETA: I edited this for privacy reasons. If you saw an earlier version, please be cool about it.

I didn't. Do tell. I'll be cool.

Although I think you guys are stupid about chicks.

I just texted her, asking her to apologize for all she did before she knew I existed. She texted back "FU" which I take to mean "Forgive (me; I am) Unclean."

JK

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

I didn't. Do tell. I'll be cool.

Although I think you guys are stupid about chicks.

I just texted her, asking her to apologize for all she did before she knew I existed. She texted back "FU" which I take to mean "Forgive (me; I am) Unclean."

JK

Baaaahaaaa!!!

Is this all just a fuckaround then? Dick.

[evollove]

No, just that last part.

Actually we aren't even an official couple (yet) so the "be cool and patient" advice is as good as it gets.

----

Worst Thing I Did to a Chick:

After we broke up, I'd check her email. (We were close enough I knew her password.) I saw she was getting awfully flirty with some new guy, so I wrote back as her, a message amounting to "Please go away."

Well, he was so shook her called her, and it didn't take much for her to figure out what happened.

Joke's on me because they got married and had a kid.

This was about 15 years ago and now that I write it out it, it's bad but I've heard worse stories.

[Severian]

I read my college girlfriend's diary. Entires about me... during a period where we were "off" between many "on" periods. I read it, and used the information I learned against her in a nasty way. I don't think I ever told her, but I may have at some point. I feel like if I had, I would VERY CLEARLY remember the broken face that followed. She, like most of us, cherished and valued privacy and trust. I violated the duck out of it.

That's probably the least awful story from that particular relationship, but it's the one that makes me look the worst.

Oh... that and the time I told her I wanted to sleep with her friend (during an "on" oeriod) and for some fucking reason claimed to be still "figuring myself out sexually" when she asked why the fuck her friend attracted me so much when she didn't (she did... big time... but I was so fucking young and stupid that I was being led around by my dick. I said that shit anyway to dig myself out of something.

I wasn't questioning my sexuality at all. I was just dumb, and weak, and a coward.

[Severian]

I read my college girlfriend's diary. Entires about me... during a period where we were "off" between many "on" periods. I read it, and used the information I learned against her in a manipulative way. I don't think I ever told her, but I may have at some point. I feel like if I had, I would VERY CLEARLY remember the broken face that followed. She, like most of us, cherished and valued privacy and trust. I violated the fuck out of it.

That's probably the least awful story from that particular relationship, but it's the one that makes me look the worst.

Oh... that and the time I told her I wanted to sleep with her friend (during an "on" period) s being led around by my dick.

[!@#$%!]

man, it's confession time!

i plead the fith