[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by tw2113

So you're a literal embodiment of the walking dead? Cool

only half zombie. it gives me a limp.

[Severian]

Originally Posted by tw2113

So you're a literal embodiment of the walking dead? Cool

Walking Dead suuuuuuuuucks no offense

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Severian

Walking Dead suuuuuuuuucks no offense

whoooosh!

the zombie writer metaphor is apt however for posting shit all day on the internet

[tw2113]

Originally Posted by Severian

Walking Dead suuuuuuuuucks no offense

No denial the show came to mind when I typed my original reply, but my comment itself has zero connection or connotation to the show/comic itself.

[!@#$%!]

anyway, yes

so where were we?

ah yes

when was everyone’s last vacation?

i dont mean going away necessarily. staycations count.

[tw2113]

In terms of writing, I have 3 publicly posted, less than 1000word short stories located at the awesome domain of https://achooandthesneezes.com/


I want/hope/desire to have more stuff posted soon-ish, as all posted stuff is from like 2011 or earlier. Just waiting/trying to find inspiration. Hoping this site plus some other action items will spur me on.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by tw2113

In terms of writing, I have 3 publicly posted, less than 1000word short stories located at the awesome domain of https://achooandthesneezes.com/


I want/hope/desire to have more stuff posted soon-ish, as all posted stuff is from like 2011 or earlier. Just waiting/trying to find inspiration. Hoping this site plus some other action items will spur me on.

i used to have my lines stolen by award winning poets. well, i’d actually lend them, but way too cheaply.

now i’m sitting here

i’ll check out your page post-work

[Rob Instigator]

Just finished Steven Pinker's "The Better Angels of our Nature: Why Violence has Declined" http://rxttbooks.blogspot.com/2018/0...g-else-is.html

[Severian]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

anyway, yes

so where were we?

ah yes

when was everyone’s last vacation?

i dont mean going away necessarily. staycations count.

Years and years ago. Like... 200...9?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Severian

Years and years ago. Like... 200...9?

you haven't had a break and have worked continuously since 2009?

not even a couple of weeks off for the holidays or something?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by tw2113

In terms of writing, I have 3 publicly posted, less than 1000word short stories located at the awesome domain of https://achooandthesneezes.com/


I want/hope/desire to have more stuff posted soon-ish, as all posted stuff is from like 2011 or earlier. Just waiting/trying to find inspiration. Hoping this site plus some other action items will spur me on.

so..... i had a superlong day yesterday reconciling accounts till my eyes hurt and i spaced this

sorry!

i wont make any more promises, but right now i intend to look when i a) get a chance, and b) remember, which should not take overly long, but my life being what it is,not 100% predictable

[tw2113]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

so..... i had a superlong day yesterday reconciling accounts till my eyes hurt and i spaced this

sorry!

i wont make any more promises, but right now i intend to look when i a) get a chance, and b) remember, which should not take overly long, but my life being what it is,not 100% predictable

I have zero urgency for this or need to have it read. That said, it's a cumulative 6-8min read among all 3 stories posted

[!@#$%!]

ha ha

i read them

some funny ideas there

why not write more—i mean take them farther

[tw2113]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

ha ha

i read them

some funny ideas there

why not write more—i mean take them farther

I just may. "Lust" was born of the idea of a series of short stories all based on one of the 7 deadly sins, and each would have a (hopefully) unexpected twist in them.



I know i have some characters from others from over 10 years ago that I may expand on as a series of adventures.

[!@#$%!]

oh right kinda like kieszlowski’s 10 commandments

i thought the coders in the coffee shop could get into some shenanigans trying to get rid of the patrons. maybe even become serial killers lololol.

a small note on style, i’d get rid of all the exclaims and quippeds. trust me on that—it’s either “said” or nothing at all if it’s evident who is speaking. try it and see how it works. also when possible nuke the adverbs.

[tw2113]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

oh right kinda like kieszlowski’s 10 commandments

i thought the coders in the coffee shop could get into some shenanigans trying to get rid of the patrons. maybe even become serial killers lololol.

a small note on style, i’d get rid of all the exclaims and quippeds. trust me on that—it’s either “said” or nothing at all if it’s evident who is speaking. try it and see how it works. also when possible nuke the adverbs.

So take "Dead Poet's Society" literally in certain spots:

"So avoid using the word 'very' because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays."

[!@#$%!]

ha ha i didnt think you were being lazy but it is a bit like that, choosing the more potent words.

poetry is different in that poetry is about words themselves.

but in fiction it’s more like you want the effect in the mind of the reader to take precedence over words.you want your reader to get into the story not look from outside.

in the case of dialogue, it’s more important for the reader to hear the characters talking than it is to hear the writer talking about the characters talking. the beauty of “said” is that it’s almost invisible, so it clarifies who said what without getting in the way. it’s what the characters say that is important.

as for the adverbs, aside from yes it’s better to choose the right verb instead of modifying it, again for me they get in the way of the mental picture, i think because they provide the data in 2 separate pieces so you have to take another look and correct or complete the image you constructed with the first piece. you want as much as possible to keep the flow of mental images unbroken so the reader can stay in the story.

tldr; the job of language is to get out of the way of the story, unless the story is about language itself, which it can be sometimes, like, say, in ulysses, which to me is a prose poem more than a novel.

[evollove]

^ tw2113, he ain't lying

I'd drop the exclamation points. Use maybe two in your entire life's output.

Promising stuff. I'd highly recommend joining a writer's group or possibly take a class or two to eliminate a few of the glaring amateur mistakes I spotted. (Not a slam. It happens. "Becoming a good writer" is, obviously, a process.)

[tw2113]

I'm definitely not disregarding any of the advice, so I hope I don't sound dismissive.


That said, everything except the coffee shop satire/onion-style piece was written back in like 2011 or earlier, so definitely a lot of amateur mistakes made that would hopefully be evolved from since. Now to just start something new. /me kicks himself in the butt

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by tw2113

I hope I don't sound dismissive.

oh, i just added my explanation because it needed explaining. sometimes people do give arbitrary rules of writing. im not a hipster though and just wanted to clarify why i made those suggestions. style is functional.

Originally Posted by tw2113

That said, everything except the coffee shop satire/onion-style piece was written back in like 2011 or earlier, so definitely a lot of amateur mistakes made that would hopefully be evolved from since. Now to just start something new. /me kicks himself in the butt

i found humor in every piece so i’d say get to work yeah