[noumenal]

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead

I don't. I did in person. Awkwardly.

Oh, I was just saying in general, you know.

[Jt]

The thing is, right, when you're with a girl it should be all but self-evident that she wants more than a friendship with you by the way she conducts herself. You should be able to read her body language, her communication, her actions... If you have a lady friend who you're interested in and you think might reciprocate, wait for the right situation, wait until you're pretty damned sure, and just rock and roll. What's the worst that happens? She says no? She'd have said that even if you'd just asked. Plus *you* look like the guy in control if you read her right and make the move.

Naturally there's scope for problems, but then relationships are a minefield at the best of times. My current girlfriend and I had been friends with for some time, we would hang out together plenty, whatever... One night, watching a film... moves are made... end of story.

I don't know; if you don't know the girl so well pouncing on her might not be well advised, but if you sense things are going on... the situation presents itself... I'd be dancing.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

My friends kept pointing out to me that since english is her second language, it isn't exactly easy to tell.

[GeneticKiss]

Sorry, late to the thread...

Yr sister's not saying you should just walk up to some girl you think is hot and deep-tongue her out of nowhere, is she?

[krastian]

This all seems a bit 8th grade......just talk to her, have a laugh, make her know you're interested, and if you can't do these things, then I think you might be fucked.....and I hope to God this is your big sister giving you advice.....just because you should have more experience with humans than a little sis.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

I'm only a 21 year old when it comes to actually age. When it comes to girls, I'm a 10 year old. When it comes to having experience with girls, I'm a 3 year old. When it comes to music other than Bowie, DEVO, Queen, and assorted new way, I'm a 5 year old. When it comes to being a nerd, I'm about 19.

Burying my head in star wars novels I sort of alienated myself and cast myself as a nerd. In a lot of ways I've broken out of that nerdy little boy role. But in a few ways I haven't.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Originally Posted by GeneticKiss

Sorry, late to the thread...

Yr sister's not saying you should just walk up to some girl you think is hot and deep-tongue her out of nowhere, is she?

No, she is saying that if I've been hanging out with a girl and stuff. . .

[krastian]

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead

I'm only a 21 year old when it comes to actually age. When it comes to girls, I'm a 10 year old. When it comes to having experience with girls, I'm a 3 year old. When it comes to music other than Bowie, DEVO, Queen, and assorted new way, I'm a 5 year old. When it comes to being a nerd, I'm about 19.

Burying my head in star wars novels I sort of alienated myself and cast myself as a nerd. In a lot of ways I've broken out of that nerdy little boy role. But in a few ways I haven't.

He he.....just get out there and be yourself man....it'll work out. As lame as it seems, have you tried talking to some chicks online? There are surely tons of ones out there that are into the same stuff that you are into/ those who are just as awkward about dating etc. as you are.

[demonrail666]

talk to them. be yourself. get to know them. let them get to know you. If it's gonna happen it will. There's no formula to this stuff (unfortunately). it's all instinct.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Originally Posted by krastian

He he.....just get out there and be yourself man....it'll work out. As lame as it seems, have you tried talking to some chicks online? There are surely tons of ones out there that are into the same stuff that you are into/ those who are just as awkward about dating etc. as you are.

Yeah, she, that is why I thought this girl would be a good bet. I met her at a show, I didn't know her, and she said she liked my music, which meant a lot to me because I knew she wasn't saying so just to be nice. Plus she really likes Joy Division, Misfits, The Pixies, T. Rex, and a bunch of other stuff I like and we have the same favorite book. Plus she has a good time hanging out with my friends. Every girl I've gone out with hasn't really gotten along with my friends. Or taken interest in my music aspirations for that matter.

Girls online seem to be really superficial and shallow. We could have nothing in common, but they'll add me as their because they think I'm cute or something.

I don't meet as many girls as I used to, and that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is my complete inability to really woo the ones I like.

I only get bothered about girls when one is on my mind, otherwise I just don't really think about it. If I don't have a big crush on anyone in particular I don't really worry about it.

[ALIEN ANAL]

yeh im shit with the ladies too. I feel your pain.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

My dreams aren't helping me on this one. This girl has invaded them, and the opposite of what happens in real life is happening in dreams. So pretty much good stuff.

With the girls I've gone out with, my dreams were bad, and rightfully so.

I've never had good dreams about a real girl.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Originally Posted by Kegmama

She is right if you're a man whore who likes slutty chicks and don't mind contracting the occasional disease.

 

SWAK!

Hahahaha Kegmama. . . I don't think she meant have sex with random sluts. I think she meant that asking a girls is sort of dorky and shows a lack of confidence.

I'm fully aware of STDs, and I'm totally anti-man-whore.

[lucyrulesok]

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead

My dreams aren't helping me on this one. This girl has invaded them, and the opposite of what happens in real life is happening in dreams. So pretty much good stuff.

With the girls I've gone out with, my dreams were bad, and rightfully so.

I've never had good dreams about a real girl.

yr pretty tied up on her, huh?
you say she's going back to poland soon, so you know there wont be a long term relationship there anyway... but i don't know what i'm trying to say.

it's sweet that you like her so much. i think it's really a good idea to spend as much time as possible with someone before you start launching into things. i met my current boyfriend in a club, but he didn't try it on with me there and then, like a lot of guys would, but he took my number and asked me out (in the sense of, would you like to go to a show?, not would you like to be my girlfriend?) and we hung out quite a lot before he made any moves on me. i liked it because it made me feel like he actually liked me, rather than just thought i was hot, or whatever.

i think its a good idea to go on dates. it's fun and i always think they're pretty exciting, and like someone else said, kissing someone at the end of a date is an awesome feeling. also it will let her know that you think she's really special.

i guess a lot of this advice is pretty pointless now that she has already said no, but honesty is the best policy my friend, and if you talk to her about how you feel you will at least make her feel good about things. and you know, there wont be any long term awkwardness, because she's going away

i hope things work out for you!

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

I don't really see any validity in the "I'm going away so I can't get into anything in my last 4 months or so argument."

Because to me, you could get on that plane glad you don't have any attachments, but that plane could go down and in your last seconds you realize that it was all for nothing.

[atari 2600]

You'll find that some of this may sound familiar to other advice/observations.

Young ladies want to "go out with"/"hang out with" guys who are deemed "safe" wtihin their realm of proximity. Thus, they often go out with co-workers, neighbors, classmates, and so forth.
They also date those who they see around a lot. If they go to shows and they always see you there, or if they go to bars and you hang at the same bars, then you are already in the realm of their proximity. Now, if they are really drunk all the time, (or if you don't stand out too much) then they may have never noticed you before, however. To put it more specifically young ladies generally like a "wild" guy, but one that is from within their "safety zone." (described above briefly)

What your sister means is that girls hook up with guys the same way that guys hook up with girls. Which is, to clarify, they hook up spontaneously on a night on the town. Young ladies will often laugh at a guy that asks them on a date or asks them for their phone number. Now, it's okay to ask for a number at the end of the night if you've been hanging with a girl and she has to go, and you've met her through some mutual friends and/or bar acquaintances. (This job calls for an extended family at the bar!) In that case, then, yes, do ask for the number and wait a couple of days before you call.

For the most part though, (& just like the guys), young women often do not ask for or want any serious thing. They want to have fun. Girls just want to have fun. And if it turns into being something, they'll let you know when and where it does.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

Thanks for the advice Atari. I always get excited when I see you post you know.