[atari 2600]

Kurt

My baby taught me how to be
My baby taught me how to fight
My baby taught me how to die
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

My baby taught me how to smoke
My baby taught me how to breathe
My baby taught me how to hide
My baby taught me how to leave
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

My baby taught me how to choke
My baby taught me how to eat
My baby taught me how to fuck
My baby taught me how to be
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

[atari 2600]

from The Kinks Present a Soap Opera (1975)


Has everybody got problems?
Are you stuck in a deadend job?
Frustrated and dissatisfied?
Are you on the edge of suicide?
Terrorist bombers on the left,
Fascist plots on the right.
Mass destruction and homicide,
Are you horrified and terrified?
Such a shame.

We've all got problems we know,
There's one thing that's for sure,
There's only one cure for all your hangups and all your depressions.

Have another drink it'll make you feel better,
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.
If you feel down and you're under the weather
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.
(Repeat above four lines).

Facts and figures.
Filling out forms.
Reading circulars.
Dictating letters.
Is your occupation
Getting to your brain?
Is there no relief?
It's like a ball and chain.
There's no need to get depressed,
Worrying won't make it better.
There's only one consolation I can recommend.
Don't take my word for it, try it for yourself.

Have another drink and you'll feel alright.
Have another drink it'll make you feel better.
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.
Have another drink it'll make you feel better.
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.

If you're feeling down and you're under the weather,
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.
Have another drink it'll make you feel better,
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.

If you're feeling down and under the weather,
Have another drink and you'll feel alright.

[jon boy]

what i dont like is if you go to the pub some people expecting you to drink, like you have to. sometimes i dont want alchohol. i knew someone who wouldnt talk to me because i didnt have a beer infront of me.

[EMMAh]

Originally Posted by Saturnine

i'm pretty sure my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and i'm fine. she's always smoked virginia slims and my dad's always smoked marlboros. there's a picture of me holding his cigarettes and a pair of sunglasses when i was like 18 months old.

I don't think I'd smoke while pregnant. I know it's not a 100% chance that your baby will be messed up but I wouldn't want to take a chance with something like that.
My friends mom smoked pot and cigarettes while pregnant with his baby brother last year and the baby was perfectly fine, but you never know.

[Iain]

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Kurt

My baby taught me how to be
My baby taught me how to fight
My baby taught me how to die
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

My baby taught me how to smoke
My baby taught me how to breathe
My baby taught me how to hide
My baby taught me how to leave
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

My baby taught me how to choke
My baby taught me how to eat
My baby taught me how to fuck
My baby taught me how to be
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!

Wasn't that a Tad song or something?

[Iain]

Originally Posted by jon boy

what i dont like is if you go to the pub some people expecting you to drink, like you have to. sometimes i dont want alchohol. i knew someone who wouldnt talk to me because i didnt have a beer infront of me.

That annoys me as well. Especially as I very rarely drink

[nomadicfollower]

What a perfect time for pot - when squeezin' out a huge oddly shaped piece of flesh and bone.

[EMMAh]

Originally Posted by Saturnine

Actually there is scientific evidence that there is almost no chance of harm to the fetus. You can drink like two beers or a glass of wine a day and smoke pot once in awhile and it does no harm, either. Actually, a lot of women in Jamaica smoke reefer during labor.

By the way, that is so dumb when you go into a bar or pub or whatever and people expect you to drink.

Oh yeah, I think I have heard that before hahah
I would so smoke a joint while in labor, I'd be like "ROLL ME UP A FUCKING FATTY RIGHT NOW!"

[Hip Priest]

Drink vodka, and cider. Try mixing them, even. But be careful:

 

Nice piece of post-Victorian moralising.

[HaydenAsche]

I've only been drunk twice. I didn't like it.

[Toilet & Bowels]

most people don't like it at first, i didn't really enjoy boozing until i was in my early 20s

[HaydenAsche]

Yeah. I don't want to become drunks like my parents or anything though. I'd rather just smoke and drink coffee.

[Toilet & Bowels]

i didn't mean that in a kind of "keep trying you'll get there" way, it wasn't like that for me. if you don't like it don't bother with it.

[EMMAh]

Originally Posted by HaydenAsche

Yeah. I don't want to become drunks like my parents or anything though. I'd rather just smoke and drink coffee.

That's a big thing for me too, my dad drinks like mad and I don't want to become like that. Drinking can be a lot of fun, but I just haven't felt like doing it for a long time and don't see myself wanting to do it again anytime soon. But if the mood strikes, why not...

[golden child]

yeah yeah, i like some drink sometimes but i hate getting drunk.

[Glice]

Originally Posted by Hip Priest

Drink vodka, and cider. Try mixing them, even. But be careful:

 

Nice piece of post-Victorian moralising.

I remember reading an article last year that said that the largest consumers of alcohol, per capita, in the UK, is in Somerset. I often reel this little titbit out in front of northerners who take the piss for being a 'soft southern shandy drinking blah blah'.

Incidentally, northerners, any idea why you have so much head on yr pints? Weirdos.

[Hip Priest]

Originally Posted by Glice

I remember reading an article last year that said that the largest consumers of alcohol, per capita, in the UK, is in Somerset. I often reel this little titbit out in front of northerners who take the piss for being a 'soft southern shandy drinking blah blah'...

Us up north would look at the map and assume that the low crime stats for Somerset were the result of some HE Bates-style paradise, where country folk spend all day sitting around drinking cider and talking about butter. The south has a lot of green, we are told by our factory bosses.

Mr Arkwright says he will bring in an etching of a field, so as we know 'ow it looks. Aye-up, the likes of us is beholdin' to the likes of 'im.

[Glice]

'Arr, thass bee as 'ows we doos it dowwn yeayrr loike. We bist sittan' in th'park, loike, 'avin oos a noiyce point a' scrumpy loike.

'ee musss be spreadan' yr 'eputation roooun' 'fore givan it'a Hip Priest 'gain.

[Hip Priest]

Mind you, I probably sound right ungrateful, me. I 'ave to admit as the education system up 'ere is champion; I was a fully-qualified factory worker at the age of four, and my sister was village's top coalminer at t'age of six. I 'ere you lot have to wait 'till you bin to 'yuniversitie' in yer twenties 'till you 'ave a job. Twenties is old age for us, like.

And once a year Mr Arkwright takes us all on a day out to the local workhouse, so as we can see 'ow the unfortunates live. Cares for 'is workers does Mr Arkwright, always carries out the beatings 'imself, as is proper. 'Appen.

[Glice]

Fac'ry? Wass a bloomin' faaac'ry ven? I's been workan' ont'farm sinss ee'wass 'bout too, drivin' trac'aars as from when I were fouive. Yoo sitty folks don' 'alf 'ave some funny idears, I tells 'ee...