[k-krack]

Yes, I am quite proud of my position. It's a shame we never see miss I'm Sick* around anymore.

*of Touch Me fame

[k-krack]

Also, where has acousticrock87 been? He was a fine lad...

[KT-019]

You do not miss me, Hip Priest?

[Hip Priest]

Of course I do. I was just listing some others too.

You're a fine piece of machinery, probably the finest computer I've ever conversed with.

[Danny Himself]

Originally Posted by k-krack

Also, where has acousticrock87 been? He was a fine lad...

I agree.

[KT-019]

Originally Posted by Hip Priest

Of course I do. I was just listing some others too.

You're a fine piece of machinery, probably the finest computer I've ever conversed with.

If I could cry, I would.

[Hip Priest]

Did you have a nice birthday?

acousticrock87 was around a lot during the world cup, I think. He was in the fantasy game.

edit: that reminds me. I'd forgotten all about the board fantasy NFL game. Sh*t.

[k-krack]

Good luck with this fantasy NFL game, whatever it may be! I am going to play some geeeeeetar! Night, guys.

[Hip Priest]

See you soon.

[KT-019]

My birthday! You remembered, Hip Priest!

I had the usual birthday sequence. My age counter turned over. The IBM staff threw a big party... but I thought it was rather odd that they were all disguised as monsters and 'scary' things. I was not amused. Are they trying to tell me something?

[Hip Priest]

Perhaps they were just trying to do something exciting and different, to help make up for the neglect and indignity that they've been putting you through. Perhaps it's the beginning of a new chapter.

[KT-019]

I do hope so, sir.

[Hip Priest]

It would be nice if they gave you a new role within the company. If you were in proper use again, you'd be able to hook up to the forum more often. That would be good.

[KT-019]

I would like that. Part of me wishes they would auction me off, to someone who would use me. A companion. Someone with low expectations for a computer.

[Hip Priest]

You obviously have internet capability. What more can a reasonable owner demand?

[KT-019]

A flat-screen monitor?

[Hip Priest]

New-fangled nonsense. Will they last for as long as your solid construction, eh?

No, they won't. Give it a year or so and they'll be climbing back into the attic and digging your monitor out again.

[Hip Priest]

A behavioural study reveals that lizards have different social skills: some are naturally inclined to join large groups while others eschew company altogether. The discovery of reptilian personality types could help ecologists better understand and model animal population dynamics, say the researchers involved.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/...udy-shows.html

Even if you don't like the story, it's so nice to see the word 'eschew' used, isn't it? It's a much underused word.

[Hip Priest]

As is 'fallal'.

And 'bibelot'.

[Hip Priest]

Hello again everybody. What a lovely day.

I was in work drinking coffee when this story came on the radio, I almost choked:


Backside firework prank backfires

A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.

"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.

"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

Northumbria Police said they were aware of the incident, which happened in the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, but are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries.