[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

---

[_slavo_]

Fuck, man, you're attractive!

I'm bald too and I'm self confident. It's all in your head.

You're 28 - the life is just beginning, man. I've had my best years from age 30 to maybe 35 ... so much good stuff happened it's crazy.
I advice you to seek professional help - therapist, maybe. These guys can help you boost your self confidence, if you're struggling.

But honestly, forget about your looks. You look too good to be bothering about that.

[Bytor Peltor]

Dude, I agree with Slavo......life is just beginning for you! I didn’t get married until I was 30 and 20 years of marriage has been fantastic!

I would like to recommend volunteering for your consideration, even if it’s for just a couple of hours per week/month......placing yourself outside your comfort zone can go a long way to boosting self morale.

All the best!

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Thanks guys, that means a lot to me.

Felt kinda weird posting all that so I deleted the post.

Thanks for the support.

[_slavo_]

you didn't need to delete the post. It was very nice to see some honesty and fragililty in this cold blue place.

if you need a chat or something, just hit me up via PM. I'm here to help.

[GravitySlips]

What worked for me...

Join a gym, or exercise a lot. I don't have a clue what you look like or anything but it isn't really about looks. You just feel better and more confident when you're in good shape/fit - or at least, I do. However you look at the moment, you'll probably look better after exercise.

Henry Rollins had a decent piece about how weightlifting gave him confidence. I'm not talking about weightlifting as such, but lifting weights, exercising regularly and eating the right foods made a massive difference to my confidence and my outlook on things in general. I do believe the benefits of exercise are more than just physical -- I'm in a better place mentally too now.

Good luck, anyway!

[Severian]

From my experience it’s been a process of identifying what you like doing and getting good at that. At least professionally.

Personally it’s more difficult, but being honest with yourself and setting and meeting realistic goals helps. Also, I think in your thirties you start to care less about what people think of you. That helps a ton. Not that you suddenly get to piss people off, but you come to terms with the fact that not everyone likes everything or everybody, and you can only do your best.

[!@#$%!]

was listening to jordan peterson the other day and he sez in our society it all boils down to competence, which raises your place in the social hierarchy, which raises your serotonin, which makes you feel better, etc.

im not a jordanian (lol) and dont agree with all his social/political extrapolations which are i think oversimplistic extrapolations, but his pyschology of the individual (he talks about “seeing clients”) seems spot on.

lemme find you a jootoob...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6c9Uu5eILZ8

much of it makes a lot of sense—put some order in your life, get a job, friends, etc.

if you got all that i missed your original post so i dont know exactly.

[!@#$%!]

ps- felix means happy

felikdon = son of happy

SO

you used to work in movies! i remember.

you still do? how dat goes?

[Toilet & Bowels]

Seeing a therapist had done me a lot of good., If you have a job that grinds you down throw caution to the wind and leave it, i have seen it work wonders for many people, myself included.

[EVOLghost]

Do you meditate?

[Severian]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

Seeing a therapist had done me a lot of good., If you have a job that grinds you down throw caution to the wind and leave it, i have seen it work wonders for many people, myself included.

BUT BUT BUT...

Maybe have a job in place to leave it for. Don’t throw caution *entirely* to the wind. Trust me, been there, done both, and leaving a job as an adult when you have responsibilities and no immediate prospects does NOT help your self esteem because guess what you have to do...

Go on unemployment (if you’ve paid into it) and search for jobs and go hat in hand to any place that’s hiring.

Not great.
Like getting a divorce and joining an online singles club.

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Originally Posted by EVOLghost

Do you meditate?

ive been trying, but its difficult for me to clear my head

even bought a steam game which should help,but i keep ignoring the daily reminders

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson

ive been trying, but its difficult for me to clear my head

even bought a steam game which should help,but i keep ignoring the daily reminders

for a lot of people clearing the head is just a way to think more

don’t take it too hard.

sometimes you just gotta do some physical intense activity instead. trust me even the monks do it. see: hakuin.

splitting wood for winter or getting on a bicycle for a long ride or going to the woods for a hike will clear your head faster than sitting trying to not-think. plus it will pump your brain full of delicious endorphins, and dopamine, and serotonin, and a bunch of good stuff.

[choc e-Claire]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

going to the woods for a hike

Good advice, this.

I wouldn't say my walking is 'intense', but I go out for an hour and a bit, cover a good 5k, most weekend mornings. It's actually turned out that I'm much less afraid of being alone with my own damaged psyche than I used to be.

Also helps get away from it all.

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

Seeing a therapist had done me a lot of good., If you have a job that grinds you down throw caution to the wind and leave it, i have seen it work wonders for many people, myself included.

I actually recently did quit my job. I was swapping needle bins at a hospital, and pulling about 30k a year doing it, but the banality and general grossness of the job eventually got to me. Also, my mom's dying and I couldn't handle being surrounded by sick people 24/7. It really ate me up inside. I'm empathetic as all get out.

Thought I could go back to school. Realized I was too stressed/depressed to focus on anything. Just stopped going like an idiot.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

for a lot of people clearing the head is just a way to think more

don’t take it too hard.

sometimes you just gotta do some physical intense activity instead. trust me even the monks do it. see: hakuin.

splitting wood for winter or getting on a bicycle for a long ride or going to the woods for a hike will clear your head faster than sitting trying to not-think. plus it will pump your brain full of delicious endorphins, and dopamine, and serotonin, and a bunch of good stuff.

Earlier this year, I was all about exercise. I'll probably get back into it. Been smoking Newports again for a while now. Between my mom's deteriorating health, a broken heart, and the loss of another friend. I've been a bit off the wagon lately.

But yeah, exercise and a healthy diet was doing wonders for me. I'm just struggling to find the motivation. The hardest part is just getting to the gym. My lungs sucking ass rn ain't helpin. Time to stop buying cigs.

And yes - to answer your earlier question - I still make videos. Some of the stuff I was making earlier this year was bonkers. I think it was v. pro, Youtube-worthy tbh. Recently made a video of myself eating my own vomit and posted it on Facebook... just ask EVOLghost. Clearly not a sign of my strongest best mental health - shock humor/art excuse or not. The other stuff was great though.

Playing guitar too. Just started. Bought a 7 string. I have trouble focusing. Idk.

I appreciate the support everyone. Don''t like making things all about me. I'm glad this place still exists. Like a nice getaway from the rest of the world tbh. Same as it ever was.

[!@#$%!]

o man. you’re enduring a lot. stress is understandable.

gtg zzzz rn but have some ideas will post tomorrow

hang in there!

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Really my biggest problem is my assumption that other people don't like me. Or when they they compliment me, i just assume they're being disingenuous.
Doesn't help with women. Especially when they're interested in me, and I don't pick up on any signs or make a move until it's too late and I end up making things so much worse. Also not very attracted to chicks unless I really click w/ them on a mental level. I'm an odd duck though, so it's hard for that to happen. So when I fall for someone, I fall hard.

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

o man. you’re enduring a lot. stress is understandable.

gtg zzzz rn but have some ideas will post tomorrow

hang in there!

Thanks man. <3 love ya sweet dreams

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson

Really my biggest problem is my assumption that other people don't like me. Or when they they compliment me, i just assume they're being disingenuous.

dude, been there done that. I believe though, it's just all about the state of mind. sometimes a little meditation, as mentioned above, can help a lot.
I usually go with this form:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autogenic_training

It's very effective.