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Old 08.02.2007, 04:18 PM   #1
Glice
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Ok, so it's quite apparent that loads of celebrities read this forum, as do lots of non-celebrities (Hi, my name's Glice or something etc). So let's have an open letters thread!

Dear Elton John

JUST FUCK OFF YOU CUNT.

Yours,

Glice.
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Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:20 PM   #2
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Paris Hilton

Could you please take your sweaty clunge to the nearest nunnery, and never show your face (or clunge) to the public again.

Thank you, sweetcheeks.

Yours sincerely

Melly.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:23 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom
Dear Paris Hilton

Could you please take your sweaty clunge to the nearest nunnery,

Clunge? what the fuck is a clunge?
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:24 PM   #4
Pookie
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He didn't want to use the real word in front of his son.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:26 PM   #5
Glice
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Dear Paris,

Ignore Melly, let's have some more decent tunes like star are blind.

Yours,

Glice.

PS - no more clunge though, thanks.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:26 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by demonrail666
Clunge? what the fuck is a clunge?

You have 3 guesses. Each incorrect answer dissolves a bit of your pancreas. Go!
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:29 PM   #7
Glice
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Dear Bono,

DIE

Cheers,

Glice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:31 PM   #8
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I have a good idea what it means, but don't know how it came to mean it.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:36 PM   #9
MellySingsDoom
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Dear God

I have a problem.

I look like Elton John, but don't have his money.

Sort it out, now.

Yours not believing in you but chancing his arm anyway

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:38 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
He didn't want to use the real word in front of his son.

He's a sensitive boy, and there's some things that are too rough for his ears. Mind you, y'know what he asked me the other day? "Oi Dad, can you tell me what "smoo juice" means"? Nearly had a heart attack, I did.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:41 PM   #11
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As in: 'A cup of java, and nix on the moo juice'?
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM   #12
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i dont know what smoo juice is either.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM   #13
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dear chloë sevigny,

let's be friends. you dress ridiculously sometimes and that makes me love you more.

love, jade
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:44 PM   #14
MellySingsDoom
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Yeah, like that, but somewhat ruder.

Like your new avatar - I used to spend far too much time watching "Laverne and Shirley" when I should have been studying for my A-Levels.
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:48 PM   #15
Pookie
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When it was on at about 9 in the morning every day?
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:48 PM   #16
Glice
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Dear Kelly Osborne.

I love you, let's get married. Don't you be thinking about what the others say, our love is pure and true and they can't stop our wild lovin'.

Yours,

Glice.
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Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
Glice is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 08.02.2007, 04:50 PM   #17
Glice
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Dear Lauren Laverne,

I love you, leave that Scottish bastard and join me in holy matrimony. I love you more, and am possibly more of a drunk.

Yours,

Glice.

PS - I secretly love you more than Kellly O. Don't tell her though.
__________________
Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
Glice is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 08.02.2007, 04:50 PM   #18
MellySingsDoom
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
When it was on at about 9 in the morning every day?

About half nine I think, just after breakfast TV. Can still remember the theme tune and intro. Sassy!
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:52 PM   #19
MellySingsDoom
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Dear Jamiroquai

Could you please take your smelly pseudo-funky mysoginist arse out of the gene pool, preferably through a huge ingestion of Ex-Lax?

Yours impatiently

Melly
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Old 08.02.2007, 04:52 PM   #20
Pookie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom
About half nine I think, just after breakfast TV. Can still remember the theme tune and intro. Sassy!
I used to get up and have breakfast watching it. I must be older than you because I think I'd finished college and was trying to avoid getting a job.
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