07.25.2007, 04:56 PM | #1 |
the end of the ugly
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1. Throw bologna on top of a car during the morning so the sun can hit it, then try pealing the shit. The paint comes right off.
2. Next time you're using the shitter @ work take some crunchy peanut butter spread it on a peice of tissue & drop it on the floor of the stall next to your & ask them if they could hand that back to you.
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Duppy know a who fi Frighten
"Drink Guinness & live, Hate Guinness & die" Lee "Scratch" Perry |
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07.25.2007, 05:03 PM | #2 |
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put cress seeds on someones carpet and water, in a few days they will have a small lawn. works best on people who are going away so that the stuff has chance to really grow.
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Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing |@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif |
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07.25.2007, 05:07 PM | #3 |
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I wish I had so much spare time on my hands.
(I'm aware I sound like a disapproving dad). |
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07.25.2007, 05:15 PM | #4 |
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This one time I broke my friends leg while he was sleeping,
then jizzed on his glasses as he cried. Haha, so fun. |
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07.25.2007, 07:05 PM | #5 |
expwy. to yr skull
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I made a chocolate covered peice of dog shit for a friend. That one's been done many times, I'm sure.
I've always thought it would be funny to put viagra in someone's drink at a party |
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07.25.2007, 07:06 PM | #6 | |
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Quote:
hahahahahahaha, I like this, thank you. Put salt or round-up on someone's lawn in the shape of the anarchy symbol (or whatever symbol you like). Their grass will die just where you lay it, so it will appear very distinct
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Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien |
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07.25.2007, 07:07 PM | #7 |
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Pranking's not my thing, but, yeah, whatever.
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I want girls with new-wave hair-doos |
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07.25.2007, 09:22 PM | #8 |
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for people in offices who use phones that aren't cordless, go up to phone and tape down the ... part that you have to release in order to answer the phone.. and when you call them, they'll pick up the phone to answer and it'll still ring and ring and ring..
coke on a car! if textfiles is still around, go to the anarchy section and read about all the crazy shit you can do to annoy me.. |
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07.25.2007, 09:36 PM | #9 |
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Um,
Clear plastic wrap over the toilet in a very tight but smooth layer. I've always thought it would be funny to trap and bird and put it in someone's mailbox.
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"One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife." |
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07.25.2007, 09:44 PM | #10 | |
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I don't think that'd be funny at all.
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I want girls with new-wave hair-doos |
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07.25.2007, 09:54 PM | #11 | |
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To each his own. I just find it funny, for some reason, to imagine somone rolling down there window to check their mail and having a pigeon fly in their car. Call me mean=spirited.
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"One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife." |
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07.25.2007, 09:57 PM | #12 |
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Who drives their car to the mailbox to get the mail?
Personally, I walk.
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I want girls with new-wave hair-doos |
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07.25.2007, 10:01 PM | #13 | |
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that could kill someone. |
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07.25.2007, 10:12 PM | #14 |
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my lazy mom drives, but we live at the bottom of a hill.
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07.25.2007, 10:36 PM | #15 |
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I more or less just avoid people that bug me. Less fear of retaliation and no moral doubt.
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07.25.2007, 10:50 PM | #16 | |
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When we were like, 12, me and this girl I used to be best friends with would always pull practical jokes on her little brother. Sometimes they would flop (mainly because we tried way too many in like, an hour). But most times, they were fucking GOLD! And he was like, 6 or whatever, so I mean.. he believe anything.
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sandwich klub 4 men. Danny is a C.H.U.D. |
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07.26.2007, 12:05 AM | #17 |
bad moon rising
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i've done the saran-wrap on the toilet, and it works wonders, my dad was pissed off (& on) and i got to clean the mess.
i do this kind of shit a lot, my favorite one i heard about kurt cobain doing, which is to lick your finger, and write "gay sex rules" on your opponents' dirty auto. on a passenger door, of course so it lasts longer. the one i won't go to hell for: i work at a store where we sell porno amongst other things, and the way the porno companies solicit the porno is that they would send out the actual cover of the dvd, you know, with no case or movie, just the cover, and the adult-buyer had a stack of man-on-man covers in a file cabnet next to his desk. he claims he's straight, but whatever. so another one of the employees is like a total metallica-football-monster-trucks-linkin park type of guys, real fucken opinionated about his shit taste in music and and equally loud and a real overall pain in the ass to work with, except that he's brought me much joy in my professional life, and anyway, let's call him rodbert, so rodbert and his seven brothers and their dad are opening this bar in town and he's gonna quit and i decide let's send ol' boy & his kinfolk some good old fashioned gay porn in the mail for "shits-n-giggles." i stole a big envelope & filled it full, double stamped it, and wrote the adress of their bar on it, attention rodbert. i picked a random name out of the phone book for a return adress, and dropped it in the mailbox. so a coupla days later, i'm sittin at my desk, another morning stoner, and in comes rodbert with a fury about him i hadn't seen before. he looks at me and holds up the envelope, and sez "do you know who fuckin' sent this to me?" and i kept a straight face and just said "no" and turned back to face the wall. it was like fartin' in church, so quiet, but all i wanted to do was lose my laugh... so he's goin' all around, and we're like, hey rodbert, what's in it? and he's bein' a low talker and then he yells out "my dad was so pissed to open this and i got in trouble!" at that point, it was over for me, tears, gut holding, floor time, the works. rodbert hit me on the arm & acted like there was gonn be more, but stopped for some reason. it was all worth it, on so many levels. |
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07.26.2007, 12:19 AM | #18 | |
children of satan
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i feel guilty for having laughed at this |
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07.26.2007, 12:30 AM | #19 |
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HAHAHAHA
Matt, that is godly. You are the fucking MAN. And Sherriff, I lol'd OUT LOUD at that too. What absurdity!
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sandwich klub 4 men. Danny is a C.H.U.D. |
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07.26.2007, 12:47 AM | #20 |
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i used to always tape the faucet...(the part with the hose)...i'd tape the handle down and as one of my 3 roommates would flip the handle on the sink, they get squirted....they all had a habit of opening the handle all the way too...(it was one of the with a lever, so i guess people always just flip it up all the way)....they are all on the track team, and al woke up at 5 am, and would then proceed back to their room to change out of their soaking wet shirts...i got al 3 of them one day...they didnt expect me to just keep it up....it was amazing...
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