guys who appear to be players, are they?

phoenix · 11.24.2008, 06:21 AM

I know this guy, who is really pretty awesome. If I had to fill out a form with check boxes about someone I might potentially date or be friends with, a lot of the things about him are ticked...

He speaks a few languages. He's a geek.. wonderfully so.. He has lots of old consoles and that was one of the first things we bonded over.. He's excited about mortal kombat 4 or some shit coming out in feb (Im sorry if I got that wrong, I dont play fight games anymore) He plays guitar wonderfully and has a band and what not. Listens to so much wondeful music.. and is open minded always about new toons. Is pretty laid back and spiritually aligned.. He wears.. attractive outfits. You know.. relaxed and comfortable in ones skin yet makes the effort? He's spontaneous, ridiculously so. He has hippie ear length hair.. and he's just kind of cute..

So you'd think it'd cause a bit of a mad crush for me. But it doesnt. Well, maybe for a few seconds, and then I remember

he is a playa.

or, he appears to be one.. And it just turns it all off in a second because I never really fight for anything I want, I just give in and try and move on. (having said that the relationship I'm in at the moment was kind of a result of my fighting over it.. and tbh I dont know where its going and sometimes still wonder whether it was worthwhile.)

Truthfully I've never been close enough in his friendship circle to really find this out, but I've known him for a while and spoken to him online in all of my 'profile' sites over the years and what not.
Every one of those there are so many pics with so many women. So many random online friends mostly female.

In every semi D+M conversation we've had there is always discussion of broken heartedness.. depression.. things.. Which originally seemed.. attractive in the way a woman wants to fix things that are broken, by instinct.. Then after a while.. it seems like .. player talk.

you know.

Are they always players just becasue they talk that way and have legions of female friends who seem to be all over them?

or could it just really be a case of bad luck in relationships and over compensating by befriending as many girls as possible?

I dont know if it makes him more interesting.. or if he is really awesome underneat it all.. or if he's just the kind of headache I've learned through trial and error to now naturally avoid.

Pookie · 11.24.2008, 06:39 AM

AVOID

AVOID

AVOID

If you're so unsure now, it's for a reason. This is a situation with no happy ending possible if you go ahead with it.

You probably won't take any notice of what I say, but it's the truth.

pbradley · 11.24.2008, 06:50 AM

Ha ha, can't have him all to yourself, can you. He has to be over compensating! No, you really do have a crush on him but you are smothering it to protect your feelings. "Player" keeps him at arms length because now his emotional inaccessibility is his prerogative. Having a lot of female friends or being comfortable around women does not necessarily mean that he is purposefully pursuing ladies.

Then again the guy you described sounds like a ponce to me so you may be right. You are a sucker for a player.

phoenix · 11.24.2008, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookie

AVOID

AVOID

AVOID

If you're so unsure now, it's for a reason. This is a situation with no happy ending possible if you go ahead with it.

You probably won't take any notice of what I say, but it's the truth.

your post sounds like a fortune cookie. hehe.

phoenix · 11.24.2008, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbradley

Ha ha, can't have him all to yourself, can you. He has to be over compensating! No, you really do have a crush on him but you are smothering it to protect your feelings. "Player" keeps him at arms length because now his emotional inaccessibility is his prerogative.

though I dont really feel like I need to have someone to myself in order to have a relationship, the second part of this is probably completely true.

The biggest reason I suggested over compensation was the openness of 'I'm not good at relationships' discussions we've had.. coupled with so many female friends?

Quote:

Having a lot of female friends or being comfortable around women does not necessarily mean that he is purposefully pursuing ladies.

Then again the guy you described sounds like a ponce to me so you may be right. You are a sucker for a player.

pahaha. I likey poncey players

probably. its all too hard.

Pookie · 11.24.2008, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix

your post sounds like a fortune cookie. hehe.

All my posts sound like fortune cookies.

This Is Not Here · 11.24.2008, 08:55 AM

My instinct is that he is, whilst not neccesarily a 'player', playing up to the role of the broken-hearted unlucky in love type to attract your feminine sympathies. I doubt he is any of those things, if he's an attractive guy and as awesome as you describe him, then he'd invariably have had the ladies falling at his feet. (This said, I am awesome, and it doesn't work like that for me!) It depends on what you mean by player, you shouldn't not get close to a guy simply because the girls like him and he's been very lucky in that department in the past. If you were to consider dating him you'd need only ensure he would be faithful and dedicated too you, not the fact that he has lots of female friends and a... umm... 'track-record', thats not the sort of thing you can hold against someone.

11.24.2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookie

AVOID

AVOID

AVOID

If you're so unsure now, it's for a reason. This is a situation with no happy ending possible if you go ahead with it.

You probably won't take any notice of what I say, but it's the truth.

Yeah, pookie nailed it pretty well.

Pretty face with a problem quickly becomes pretty face who's eating away at you because he can't be arsed to sort himself out, therefore he makes up for all this silly shit with masking the taking with the 'spiritual' giving. It only takes a gullible person to believe that all this is going to lead anywhere else other than playing the nurse to someone who is able to walk fine on their own two legs, but refuses to do it because of someone willing to help them. Also, it's almost always a sign of ill-mannered attempts at happily living with another human being, counterproductive, and devoid of any sacrifice that a 'serious' relationship demands (when the situation calls out for some, like this seems a blatant case of).

Inhuman · 11.24.2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix

your post sounds like a fortune cookie. hehe.

Pookie is a living fortune cookie. I you really do like this dude, don't go. But if his attractiveness is too lustful to pass on and want a night with him, ensure you two wear proper contraception to avoid the playeritis STI.

Derek · 11.24.2008, 06:29 PM

Quote:

He speaks a few languages. He's a geek.. wonderfully so.. He has lots of old consoles and that was one of the first things we bonded over.. He's excited about mortal kombat 4 or some shit coming out in feb (Im sorry if I got that wrong, I dont play fight games anymore) He plays guitar wonderfully and has a band and what not. Listens to so much wondeful music.. and is open minded always about new toons. Is pretty laid back and spiritually aligned.. He wears.. attractive outfits. You know.. relaxed and comfortable in ones skin yet makes the effort? He's spontaneous, ridiculously so. He has hippie ear length hair.. and he's just kind of cute..

You just described me perfectly haha.

I'm in no way a player though... I'm pretty shy naturally.

SonikJesus · 11.24.2008, 06:38 PM

He sounds like me except for the player part. By the way, It's Street Fighter 4 in feb. Although Mortal Kombat vs. DC universe just came out some weeks ago.

demonrail666 · 11.24.2008, 07:19 PM

You'd do well to hang around the true crime section in bookshops. Everyone knows that's where the real dreamboats lurk.

EVOLghost · 11.24.2008, 10:49 PM

If he was talking about Mortal Kombat, AVOID
If he was talking about Street Fighter, go for it

GeneticKiss · 11.25.2008, 12:35 AM

Nearly all of the guys I've known over the years with alot of female friends have actually turned out to be gay...

barnaclelapse · 11.25.2008, 12:38 AM

I've known a few who definitely fit the bill, but by and large, it's an image.

And yeah, it sounds like you should avoid this guy like the plague.

RdTv · 11.25.2008, 08:37 AM

If you're gonna be emotionally vested in this thing then yeah, avoid the guy. If you want a non-string-attached inter-lovecourse fling, then maybe think about it. By the way he is either a real playa (and therefore experienced or not and you can clown him to everyone you know) or a wanna-be playa that is trying to make it look as such. If memory serves me correct, there are very few real playas. Mainly wanna-be's who think they can ditch girls since they've slept with an ugly one before.

PAULYBEE2656 · 11.25.2008, 09:27 AM

fuckin hell. ive a lot of female friends and i am neither a player or gay! but yeah, he sounds like an event waiting to happen, trust yr insticts but if you have doubts already well then you have answered your own question!

tesla69 · 11.25.2008, 03:55 PM

Sounds like you just need to set this guy on fire while he's sleeping.

phoenix · 11.25.2008, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek

You just described me perfectly haha.

I'm in no way a player though... I'm pretty shy naturally.

you're 16 though

phoenix · 11.25.2008, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EVOLghost

If he was talking about Mortal Kombat, AVOID
If he was talking about Street Fighter, go for it

why this reasoning?

11.24.2008, 06:21 AM	#1
phoenix invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: the future where it's hot and dark Posts: 5,926	I know this guy, who is really pretty awesome. If I had to fill out a form with check boxes about someone I might potentially date or be friends with, a lot of the things about him are ticked... He speaks a few languages. He's a geek.. wonderfully so.. He has lots of old consoles and that was one of the first things we bonded over.. He's excited about mortal kombat 4 or some shit coming out in feb (Im sorry if I got that wrong, I dont play fight games anymore) He plays guitar wonderfully and has a band and what not. Listens to so much wondeful music.. and is open minded always about new toons. Is pretty laid back and spiritually aligned.. He wears.. attractive outfits. You know.. relaxed and comfortable in ones skin yet makes the effort? He's spontaneous, ridiculously so. He has hippie ear length hair.. and he's just kind of cute.. So you'd think it'd cause a bit of a mad crush for me. But it doesnt. Well, maybe for a few seconds, and then I remember he is a playa. or, he appears to be one.. And it just turns it all off in a second because I never really fight for anything I want, I just give in and try and move on. (having said that the relationship I'm in at the moment was kind of a result of my fighting over it.. and tbh I dont know where its going and sometimes still wonder whether it was worthwhile.) Truthfully I've never been close enough in his friendship circle to really find this out, but I've known him for a while and spoken to him online in all of my 'profile' sites over the years and what not. Every one of those there are so many pics with so many women. So many random online friends mostly female. In every semi D+M conversation we've had there is always discussion of broken heartedness.. depression.. things.. Which originally seemed.. attractive in the way a woman wants to fix things that are broken, by instinct.. Then after a while.. it seems like .. player talk. you know. Are they always players just becasue they talk that way and have legions of female friends who seem to be all over them? or could it just really be a case of bad luck in relationships and over compensating by befriending as many girls as possible? I dont know if it makes him more interesting.. or if he is really awesome underneat it all.. or if he's just the kind of headache I've learned through trial and error to now naturally avoid. __________________ tiny and lost.
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11.24.2008, 06:39 AM	#2
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	AVOID AVOID AVOID If you're so unsure now, it's for a reason. This is a situation with no happy ending possible if you go ahead with it. You probably won't take any notice of what I say, but it's the truth.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.24.2008, 06:50 AM	#3
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	Ha ha, can't have him all to yourself, can you. He has to be over compensating! No, you really do have a crush on him but you are smothering it to protect your feelings. "Player" keeps him at arms length because now his emotional inaccessibility is his prerogative. Having a lot of female friends or being comfortable around women does not necessarily mean that he is purposefully pursuing ladies. Then again the guy you described sounds like a ponce to me so you may be right. You are a sucker for a player.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

11.24.2008, 08:55 AM	#7
This Is Not Here invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kingston-Upon-Thames, London Posts: 2,586	My instinct is that he is, whilst not neccesarily a 'player', playing up to the role of the broken-hearted unlucky in love type to attract your feminine sympathies. I doubt he is any of those things, if he's an attractive guy and as awesome as you describe him, then he'd invariably have had the ladies falling at his feet. (This said, I am awesome, and it doesn't work like that for me!) It depends on what you mean by player, you shouldn't not get close to a guy simply because the girls like him and he's been very lucky in that department in the past. If you were to consider dating him you'd need only ensure he would be faithful and dedicated too you, not the fact that he has lots of female friends and a... umm... 'track-record', thats not the sort of thing you can hold against someone. __________________ http://images.google.co.uk/url?sourc...zLTl_B146tcuiw ~~Record of the moment~~
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11.24.2008, 06:38 PM	#11
SonikJesus the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,006	He sounds like me except for the player part. By the way, It's Street Fighter 4 in feb. Although Mortal Kombat vs. DC universe just came out some weeks ago.
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11.24.2008, 07:19 PM	#12
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,509	You'd do well to hang around the true crime section in bookshops. Everyone knows that's where the real dreamboats lurk.
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11.24.2008, 10:49 PM	#13
EVOLghost invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: cybatraz! Posts: 11,537	If he was talking about Mortal Kombat, AVOID If he was talking about Street Fighter, go for it
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11.25.2008, 12:35 AM	#14
GeneticKiss expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 1,666	Nearly all of the guys I've known over the years with alot of female friends have actually turned out to be gay... __________________ https://handinthefates.bandcamp.com<--music
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11.25.2008, 12:38 AM	#15
barnaclelapse the destroyed room Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Waverly, Virginia Posts: 577	I've known a few who definitely fit the bill, but by and large, it's an image. And yeah, it sounds like you should avoid this guy like the plague.
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11.25.2008, 08:37 AM	#16
RdTv invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lexington,KY USA Posts: 2,512	If you're gonna be emotionally vested in this thing then yeah, avoid the guy. If you want a non-string-attached inter-lovecourse fling, then maybe think about it. By the way he is either a real playa (and therefore experienced or not and you can clown him to everyone you know) or a wanna-be playa that is trying to make it look as such. If memory serves me correct, there are very few real playas. Mainly wanna-be's who think they can ditch girls since they've slept with an ugly one before.
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11.25.2008, 09:27 AM	#17
PAULYBEE2656 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: wexford, rep of ireland Posts: 6,930	fuckin hell. ive a lot of female friends and i am neither a player or gay! but yeah, he sounds like an event waiting to happen, trust yr insticts but if you have doubts already well then you have answered your own question! __________________ myspace facebook *twitter*
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11.25.2008, 03:55 PM	#18
tesla69 Banned Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: NYC Posts: 4,055	Sounds like you just need to set this guy on fire while he's sleeping.
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