Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

a friend shit herself at my house one night
i had a couple of people over... like 15 of us
we were drinking margaritas and having a good time
well, girl goes to bathroom
her ride is about to leave
they are knocking on the door and shes like hold on hold onnn
so they leave her there
30 minutes later, 2 friends and i are cleaning up around my bar and living room upstairs
one of them had to pee and the bathroom was locked
he knocked and the girl was like "hold onnnn"
so 10 minutes later, he was like "hey nancy is in the bathroom or something and shes been in there for a while"
so we all go to the door and we're like "hey, are you ok? we're coming in"
and she was like "HOLD oooonnn im coming out in 2 minutes"
so she comes out and it smells HORRIBLE
we thought she had puked or something
so she says she needs a ride
we all hop in my friends car and it starts to fucking STINK
we put the windows down
we're on the freeway going like 70 and it STILL fucking stinks
i almost threw up a couple of times

so we get to her house, drop her off
and we're like "why the fuck did it smell so bad...?"
i look at the spot she sat.... THERES A FUCKING SHIT STAIN!
we all FREAK out
we rush back to my house, my friend threw up twice out the window
he cleans his car while my other friend and i finish cleaning up inside the house
we walk in the bathroom and it fucking SMELLS like shit
theres shit all over my floor and toilet
i throw up, he throws up
we were too drunk to deal with it, so we were like fuck it
i paid my friends sister to clean up the bathroom the next day cause i didnt want to do it and the maid wasnt coming for another 3 days
not only that, how the fuck would i explain to her what happened?

so i call my girl the next day and tell her what happened
she starts cracking up and tells me the girl called her and told her that her dress had mud stains cause she sat in mud the night before

i dont know, i thought id share that story with you guys

Originally Posted by greedrex

shitty thread