My bizarre text messages from an unknown number
 

I really have no idea who is sending me these! All I know is they're fucking hilarious.

Text 1:
"Just a reminder that tomorrow is "hug a retard" day. So don't freak out like you did last year, nobody is trying 2 hurt you!"

Text 2:
"Ok, the cops are onto us, they are looking for a sexy motherfucker and a retard, they've already got me, so grab your helmet and crayons and run like FUCK!"

Oh, so it was your number.
Sorry, mate.

They never fail to call me a retard in every sentence, but my, I really hope I get more of these!...

hahaha

that's great.

hahahaha
somebody wants you to smile more

it's Slavo.

sorry
won't do it again

Heh. I got that same text the other day. You don't know a seriously fucking insane girl called Lindsey, do you?

Nope, I don't know any Lindseys. The mystery deepens.

lindsey lohan? hahaha

hers is LindsAy. Jerk.

I sold my soul to the credit companies and their lecherous mangled paws. Now I'm knee deep and brown water. Thanks Go for inflatable clouds. My lady's face when she see's black people playing guitar and singing folk music. My legs hurt. I have to be at work in 8 hours. My anxiety is going through the roof and I think my head is going to esplode. So I've been absorbed in fantasy land 24/7. Undead Warlocking the shits out shits. Now I'm going to ends this just like Eyes Wide Shut...

Fuck!

Turns out it was my Aunty all along. My aunty!

Text 2:
"Ok, the cops are onto us, they are looking for a sexy motherfucker and a retard, they've already got me, so grab your helmet and crayons and run like FUCK!"




Haha WIN!

that's not great, that's mean!

Wut?

http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=%22they+are+looking+for+a+sexy+moth erfucker+and+a+retard%22&meta=

hrm