Good opening lines - Page 2

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 02:40 PM

alternatively, you could pay glice to ghostwrite your column.

Everyneurotic · 04.29.2008, 02:41 PM

ask pookie.

Glice · 04.29.2008, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

alternatively, you could pay glice to ghostwrite your column.

I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

jon boy · 04.29.2008, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

indeed.

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

oh come on. the world would be a worse place without that mark kermode cunt of yours.

Derek · 04.29.2008, 03:18 PM

The world would be a worst place if there wasn't pushy journalists telling us what we should like!

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek

The world would be a worst place if there wasn't pushy journalists telling us what we should like!

they have that power over you?

hot damn.

demonic indeed.

Glice · 04.29.2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

oh come on. the world would be a worse place without that mark kermode cunt of yours.

The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

Derek · 04.29.2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

they have that power over you?

hot damn.

demonic indeed.

I instantly love everything Pitchfork put in their Best New Music section.

It's so... alternative.

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek

I instantly love everything Pitchfork put in their Best New Music section.

It's so... alternative.

just have a laugh& enjoy this overcaffeinated rant

Derek · 04.29.2008, 03:26 PM

Oh yeah, I remember that guy.

He hates everything.

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek

Oh yeah, I remember that guy.

He hates everything.

well-- no.

Derek · 04.29.2008, 03:33 PM

I don't recall him ever giving a movie a glowing review.

But then again, I don't really pay attention.

Everyneurotic · 04.29.2008, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

I will NEVER return to journalism in any form. No offence to anyone writing it, or wanting to but... there lies demons.

journalists are minor trolls compared to true demonic forces, like marketing and advertising.

jon boy · 04.29.2008, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

littlejohn and kermode are two prime examples of why this law must happen.

Derek · 04.29.2008, 03:38 PM

let the products sell themselves!
fuck advertising and commercial psychology
psychological methods to sell should be destroyed

!@#$%! · 04.29.2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice

The problem is that for every Steven Wells, Kermode the frog, Julie Burchill or, dare I say it, Richard Littlejohn, there's a million useless little pricks who are very good cases for extending the legal time limit on abortions from however many weeks it is currently to about 70 years.

ha!

i didn't expect you to write gmku's column like one of those euthanizable cases.

but now he's left to his own devices-- the poor fool!

mangajunky · 04.29.2008, 03:55 PM

I'm glad I finally opened this thread. It's far more interesting that what I thought it was going to be about. Y'know - pick up lines...

MellySingsDoom · 04.29.2008, 04:45 PM

"Is it just me, or do all grandmothers stink of piss?"

"America - a land of contrasts".

"I believe in the right to arm bears."

"Why do the Japanese get to buy soiled panties in vending machines, whilst I get a restraining order for trying to smell mine in public?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a very special announcement: Fisting is not mentioned in the Bible. Why?"

"America should be less like the Simpsons and more like the Mansons".

"Is Jesus is so good, how come he's dead?"

cryptowonderdruginvogue · 04.29.2008, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmku

So I was given this monthly gig writing a 500-word column for a local paper. No pay, which goes against all conventional wisdom in the freelance world, but I figure the regular exposure won't hurt business and I get to write on "anything my heart desires," according to the editor, God bless her.

I could take a day and whip up a dozen columns, bank them, pop them out one by one as the deadlines come around.

Here's the thing. I've never had a personal column. It's a little different from writing feature articles. I need a bunch of personal angles and snappy first lines.

I have one for sure, which I've dropped in conversation from time to time but never used in print. It's the "life lessons" angle, and the first line is: One thing I've learned in my travels through this crazy little thing called life is...

What are some others?

Do your own work, hippy!

04.29.2008, 02:40 PM	#21
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,729	alternatively, you could pay glice to ghostwrite your column.
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04.29.2008, 02:41 PM	#22
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	ask pookie. __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
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04.29.2008, 03:18 PM	#26
Derek invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 8,095	The world would be a worst place if there wasn't pushy journalists telling us what we should like!
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04.29.2008, 03:26 PM	#31
Derek invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 8,095	Oh yeah, I remember that guy. He hates everything.
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04.29.2008, 03:33 PM	#33
Derek invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 8,095	I don't recall him ever giving a movie a glowing review. But then again, I don't really pay attention.
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04.29.2008, 03:38 PM	#36
Derek invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 8,095	let the products sell themselves! fuck advertising and commercial psychology psychological methods to sell should be destroyed
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04.29.2008, 03:55 PM	#38
mangajunky expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Englewood, NJ Posts: 1,247	I'm glad I finally opened this thread. It's far more interesting that what I thought it was going to be about. Y'know - pick up lines... __________________ -Franky Don't let yer meat loaf.
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04.29.2008, 04:45 PM	#39
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	"Is it just me, or do all grandmothers stink of piss?" "America - a land of contrasts". "I believe in the right to arm bears." "Why do the Japanese get to buy soiled panties in vending machines, whilst I get a restraining order for trying to smell mine in public?" "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a very special announcement: Fisting is not mentioned in the Bible. Why?" "America should be less like the Simpsons and more like the Mansons". "Is Jesus is so good, how come he's dead?" __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
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