[Toilet & Bowels]

sounds like you're going to have to wait it out until she breaks up with this dude, because when her grasp on sense and reason will eventually return to her.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I have already, she accused me of being jealous, which is such a cop-out.

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

sounds like you're going to have to wait it out until she breaks up with this dude, because when her grasp on sense and reason will eventually return to her.

yes, what t&b says is correct.

wait until this guy dumps her and she comes to your door crying because she is lost and devoid of an identity, asking you what to do.

then you can make her your bitch

but no, really. can't do anything right now but move on. you might be friends later or you might not, but contrary to our romantic teenage ideals, friends change as life goes on.

[against_the_grain]

I've decided to let go of those who've punted me.

Movin' on !!!

[SynthethicalY]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

but contrary to our romantic teenage ideals, friends change as life goes on.

True almost all of my High School friends are gone, and all that are left, are those I met in College.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by SynthethicalY

True almost all of my High School friends are gone, and all that are left, are those I met in College.

if you are lucky enough you get to keep childhood friends, but when they become married accountants with 3 kids and you are a lunatic insano wannabe poet with no stable address, it's very easy to drift apart, because you stop having things in common.

[SynthethicalY]

True my childhood friends left when I was seventeen, and soon my High School friends did too, after i dropped ot of High School. I barely talk to them, this girl who used to be my best friend, we just drifted away. Now I am meeting new people. Its fun, cause some of them have the same taste that i have.

[against_the_grain]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

if you are lucky enough you get to keep childhood friends, but when they become married accountants with 3 kids and you are a lunatic insano wannabe poet with no stable address, it's very easy to drift apart, because you stop having things in common.

There ya go....that's it !

Those on the fringe get rejected....they're dangerous to their stability.

[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

No matter where I go most people I meet just seem superficial and shallow. I've gone through many groups of friends, and I end up telling myself just to "take my friends with a grain of salt"

I think everyone is probably an outwardly superficial and shallow bitch. Myself included.

[macrodollar]

Is there some kind of theme emerging here? SY fans don't like people that much, lol. I only have a few proper friends, which include washingmachine
It's definately something I've found at uni, people just seem so boring when you start talking to them, but I then don't give them a chance which may be a problem. I spent all of school trying to fit into anyone who would have me until I was 14 where I stopped caring and now I don't think anyone is good enough for me. i think the problem is what others have said, that as you get older you have a more defined personality so it becomes more difficult to find people you fit well with.
The group of friends I had from when I was about 15-17 I used to love but now I don't see why I did.

[Norma J]

I think alot of people on here need to re-evaluate their current friendships... obviously. In highschool I, like everyone, hung around people I didn't necessarly care for, or looking back now realise I didn't care for. But I also liked my own time and generally preferred to be alone as I'm someone who rejoices in their own company. After school, I drifted apart from them so called friends. I mean, they're alright guys I guess, but we have and did have nothing in common. I still get the occasional text msg from an old schoolfriend and when I find out who it actually is, I generally stop replying as I have no need to reform them friendships. Basicallywhat I'm saying is that it's my belief that the ones you hang around in highschool are merely people to waste time with and get through the school day - not really friends. Also, everyone should seperate from their highschool "friends" once school departs so that you can grow on your own and meet new people who are more at one with you - more choose the people you spend your time with. Because I hear stories about some of these people, what they've been up to and are doing in life now, and they're doing nothing creative or anything different than when they were in school - all living in the same area they grew up in - which makes me quite sad if I dwell on it.

As for the relationship thing, it can be hard for the friend who feels like they're being 'dissed' for the new boyfriend or girlfriend, but it's alot worse for the friend in the relationship when their friend(s) can't accept that their friend is in love and has found someone.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of years now and her friends all did that to her when we started going out. They felt she spent too much time with me and they all carried on and really upset my girlfriend to the point where she basically just let them go (fucked them off). This lasted for months. NOW, they all want to be friends with my girlfriend again because they realise she has it good because she got out of their bullshit circle and they want out to. Plus some of them have found partners themselves and now completely understand what happens when you love someone.

[Prisstina]

i know exactly how you feel.

last year i had a group of "friends" (this was 8th grade) who were the most obnoxious, snotty, unintelligent group of bitches i have ever met. they were obsessed with american eagle, boys, makeup, and all that shit & they called themselves the "v.i.p. girls".

thank god i'm in highschool now.

[Norma J]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

sounds like you're going to have to wait it out until she breaks up with this dude, because when her grasp on sense and reason will eventually return to her.

Perhaps they'll never break up. Perhaps they've found something special and are completely happy.

[macrodollar]

Originally Posted by Prisstina

i know exactly how you feel.

last year i had a group of "friends" (this was 8th grade) who were the most obnoxious, snotty, unintelligent group of bitches i have ever met. they were obsessed with american eagle, boys, makeup, and all that shit & they called themselves the "v.i.p. girls".

thank god i'm in highschool now.

Yeah, the girls I used to be close to now seem to talk of nothing but "gossip", soaps, shit TV programmes and the like, and they're 19!

[Washing Machine]

I'm still friends with the people I knew from high school for the most part I get closer to them as time gets on (I say for the most part because are a few i dont hang round with like before, they get all boring).

[Cardinal Rob]

I'm in high school (year 10) and I guess I'm one of those who is "different" too. Hahaha (don't read this post).

I have been offered a few parties in the past (these entail drinking your liver to a pate and maybe daring to take up smoking what have you all in the vicinity of the house of these parents of some spoiled bum), and they honestly don't interest me. Music that doesn't appeal to me, talking about/to people I couldn't really care less about and as the night progresses so do you on the scale of cretinism. Not the ideal night for me it seems, yet next time there is one offered that doesn't seem to bad that isn't like 500 miles from me I'll go for it because yes, after many, many nights spent in front of a computer my asperger's levels soar. Anyway, that's the line of thinking in my school, general immaturity, lack of responsibility, want of idiocy and generally an unappealing life would be spent in their company.

I'm good friends with one person at the moment (IRL), "mild" friends with quite a few and get along with most everyone (apart from other asperger's kids as they can be in really idiotic moods). I would like to get very high grades and move to one of the best 6th form colleges or whatever they are called as I'd expect there would be quite a few great characters there that I could form a band with without fearing to play some powerchord shit constantly at half the speed like Green Day.

My MySpace friends are mainly people dispersed across the world apart from at my school which pisses on one's fire...

So there we go. =/

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by Norma J

Also, everyone should seperate from their highschool "friends" once school departs so that you can grow on your own and meet new people who are more at one with you - more choose the people you spend your time with. Because I hear stories about some of these people, what they've been up to and are doing in life now, and they're doing nothing creative or anything different than when they were in school - all living in the same area they grew up in - which makes me quite sad if I dwell on it.

This is a very common response, but I still am unable to make sense of it. First, there is the assumption that once you're out of high school you'll have more of a chance of meeting people who are similar to you. It's not necessarily true, because it's all based on luck. I mean, the same people who are going to these colleges are the ones who attended the high schools in the surrounding area, usually. College doesn't automatically change people for the better. Also, I can't just expect to soon meet people who are more like me. In college, I can tell that a lot of my interests still put people off in the same way they did in high school. And I don't even make a big deal out of it all--it's something that people just find out eventually, by asking questions and such.

And then you talk about the people who choose to keep living in the same area they grew up in--what of it? It's not hurting you, and it's their own personal choice anyway. Once I moved back to my hometown, after a completely disastrous semester in Chicago, a lot of people I know--including certain friends and family members--began to look down on me for something that I felt wasn't so much of a choice as a necessity. I still have to take crap about it from people who don't even understand the whole ordeal, simply because they want to believe I chickened out in some way. Who would want to live in a place where they don't feel welcome?

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

This is a very common response, but I still am unable to make sense of it. First, there is the assumption that once you're out of high school you'll have more of a chance of meeting people who are similar to you. It's not necessarily true, because it's all based on luck. I mean, the same people who are going to these colleges are the ones who attended the high schools in the surrounding area, usually. College doesn't automatically change people for the better. Also, I can't just expect to soon meet people who are more like me. In college, I can tell that a lot of my interests still put people off in the same way they did in high school. And I don't even make a big deal out of it all--it's something that people just find out eventually, by asking questions and such.

And then you talk about the people who choose to keep living in the same area they grew up in--what of it? It's not hurting you, and it's their own personal choice anyway. Once I moved back to my hometown, after a completely disastrous semester in Chicago, a lot of people I know--including certain friends and family members--began to look down on me for something that I felt wasn't so much of a choice as a necessity. I still have to take crap about it from people who don't even understand the whole ordeal, simply because they want to believe I chickened out in some way. Who would want to live in a place where they don't feel welcome?

wow! sounds like your original "friends" were just a bunch of judgmental cockbags waiting for an opportunity to bring out their inner vulture. if that's the case, then, fuckem.

i think normaj makes a good point, but i'll reinterpret it/translate it in my own way-- i'll appropriate it:

i live in a small town now and i see this: for a lot of "normal" people, highschool is the highlight of their existence, their peak, their greatest achievement, and they remain mentally and emotionally stuck forever in that place. oh i see plenty of those, they are the kind of people who love homecoming parades and shit like that. ha ha ha.

see, it is a good thing i think to get out of your hometown and see the world and learn about it, and when you come back some day you can bring what you've learned to your community, if you want to come back. now... maybe you didn't make the right move on your first try, maybe you went to the wrong place, maybe you just weren't ready for it, but don't pay any mind to the assholes who see this as an opportunity to feel better about themselves by putting you down. they're just assholes who lack any real self-esteem.

ok. go forth & thrash now.

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

wow! sounds like your original "friends" were just a bunch of judgmental cockbags waiting for an opportunity to bring out their inner vulture. if that's the case, then, fuckem.

i think normaj makes a good point, but i'll reinterpret it/translate it in my own way-- i'll appropriate it:

i live in a small town now and i see this: for a lot of "normal" people, highschool is the highlight of their existence, their peak, their greatest achievement, and they remain mentally and emotionally stuck forever in that place. oh i see plenty of those, they are the kind of people who love homecoming parades and shit like that. ha ha ha.

see, it is a good thing i think to get out of your hometown and see the world and learn about it, and when you come back some day you can bring what you've learned to your community, if you want to come back. now... maybe you didn't make the right move on your first try, maybe you went to the wrong place, maybe you just weren't ready for it, but don't pay any mind to the assholes who see this as an opportunity to feel better about themselves by putting you down. they're just assholes who lack any real self-esteem.

ok. go forth & thrash now.

I understand that in many cases it's good to "see the world" or whatever if you have the opportunity, but it's still not for everyone, no matter which way you turn it. My only real opportunity to do so is through college, but I have no desire to spend that much time anywhere if I have to do it college style (which to me means dorm life coupled with having no actual money to do anything, because let's face it, few things come by free). The whole experience is bad enough as it is. And it's just made worse when you have to put yourself in the middle of some place that's not even familiar to you. I don't like the feeling of constantly being at college, which is how I felt in Chicago. Being in a dorm room is much worse than being in a classroom setting. And now at community college, I only spend a few hours a day at school, and then I can go home, which makes it all much more tolerable.

Like I said, I would be interested in traveling the world and etc, but it's not a realistic expectation in any way. Once I'm out of school, the opportunity probably won't present itself. And coupling school with a new place pretty much ruins the new place for me, so there is little hope that I'll ever attempt both at the same time.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I understand that in many cases it's good to "see the world" or whatever if you have the opportunity, but it's still not for everyone, no matter which way you turn it. My only real opportunity to do so is through college, but I have no desire to spend that much time anywhere if I have to do it college style (which to me means dorm life coupled with having no actual money to do anything, because let's face it, few things come by free). The whole experience is bad enough as it is. And it's just made worse when you have to put yourself in the middle of some place that's not even familiar to you. I don't like the feeling of constantly being at college, which is how I felt in Chicago. Being in a dorm room is much worse than being in a classroom setting. And now at community college, I only spend a few hours a day at school, and then I can go home, which makes it all much more tolerable.

Like I said, I would be interested in traveling the world and etc, but it's not a realistic expectation in any way. Once I'm out of school, the opportunity probably won't present itself. And coupling school with a new place pretty much ruins the new place for me, so there is little hope that I'll ever attempt both at the same time.

Hmm... see, i understand this a bit. growing up in a 3rd-world country i of course lived at home while attending college. i didn't have to worry about money, clothes, food, anything because i had that safety net and i could devote myself 100% to studying-- same as all my school peers (it's just a different culture). however, i came to the u.s. and i was sooooo liberating to be FAR from everyone! but i know a lot of people (cousins, uncles, etc) who have lived in the same house their whole lives and they are good productive people, have healthy families, etc).

now, about dorms, they are shit, because you're a natural introvert and dorms are loud fucking horrid places with no privacy. so i understand the stress upon your nervous system. but you can still find a quite room somewhere where an adult lives & make the most of it.

in any case, yeah, going away not a model for everyone. not everyone is born to be "adventurous". emily dickinson lived all her life in the same house.

however, on the subject of friends, etc-- life changes, friends change, everyone goes off & creates their own lives whether they stay in their hometown or go abroad, and it sucks but you'll have to adapt to the fact that your highschool friends won't stay the same one way or another, and in fact if they stay the same it's a sign that something is wrong with them. you change too, everybody changes, for good or bad, and that's life.

in other words, the paradise of your childhood and teenage years is forever gone and you can't go back, i'm afraid. have a ceremony and bury it some place nice, cos it's not coming back...

[Пятхъдесят Шест]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

in any case, yeah, going away not a model for everyone. not everyone is born to be "adventurous". emily dickinson lived all her life in the same house.

I think Ms. Dickinson, and many other people, long to be adventurous, but are too scared or lazy to be adventurous.

I'm leaning towards lazy.